Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you and now for the fish - the fish down the trousers.
Mrs. Scum, I’m offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap.
Well, it’s nothing very special. Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Baboon of Scotland Yard’s Special Fraud Film Director Squad, Jungle Division.
Yes, quite right… you’re rather a smart young lad aren’t you. We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart.
Was the Battle of Trafalgar fought in the Atlantic off southern Spain? Or was it fought on dry land near Cudworth in Yorkshire? Here is one man who thinks it was…
If the little chap should go to an early grave, sir, give us a ring and we’ll stick a few in an envelope, all right?
… have a drink. For God’s sake drink this…
Dinsdale was a gentleman. And what’s more, he knew how to treat a female impersonator.
Look. Do you want the little hamster to live or not?
Well come on in, excuse me not shaking hands, I’ve just been putting a bit of lard on the cat’s boil.
Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
There’s no pleasing some people.
Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
This is where Mrs Shazam was so wrong. Exploding is a perfectly normal medical phenomenon. In many fields of medicine nowadays, a dose of dynamite can do a world of good.
Yes, it was the middle one.
Well it’s only because you don’t brush my teeth.
There’s a man at the door with a moustache.
Now look here, my good man–
Fine. I’m the head waiter. This is a vegetarian restaurant only, we serve no animal flesh of any kind. We’re not only proud of that, we’re smug about it. So if you were to come in here asking me to rip open a small defenseless chicken, so you could chew its skin and eat its intestines, then I’m afraid I’d have to ask you to leave.