Well, being President of the United States is something that I shall have to think about.
Ah, hello. Well they certainly seem to be in a tight spot, and I spot… our next item - so let’s get straight on with the fun and go over to the next item - or dish! Ha, ha!
I need to go walkies.
Liberal rubbish. Klaus …What do you want with your jugged fish?
I got thirty bob for the trousers!
It’s…
I’m going upstairs, I can’t bear it.
It’s a fair cop.
Good Lord, the bar’s open!
'Ello 'ello 'ello. What’s all this, then?
I’ll tell you where it is for a pound.
Are you… at your wits’ end?
Well, it’s five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now it’ll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it’ll be ten o’clock and at 10.30 we’ll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10.33, and don’t forget tomorrow when it’ll be 9.20. Those of you who missed 8.45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now here is a time check. It’s six and a half minutes to the big green thing.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see! Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This’ll be your kingdom, lad!
My Theory by A. Elk. Brackets Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.
… And the beast shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there’ll be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah…
In 1945 Peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
I’ll scratch your eyes out.
I have another theory.