Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 2)

Blond prostitute will indulge in any sexual activity for four quid a week. What does that mean?

It’s a bazooka.

Oh never mind… right … no time to lose.

You’re quite right, old cock. There has been a mistake.

I don’t much like the tone of your voice.

Oh, that’s typical. Talk talk talk. Natter natter natter!

Splunge!

One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air.

Spammity Spam!

I don’t like Spam!

I told you to lay off the beans, you whore!

Are you saying ‘nee’ to that old woman?

(Actually spelled “Ni,” in the script)

Bring out yer dead!

No, I see. Well, never mind I’ll just take the ‘Lord Lieutenant in Nylons’ then, and these two copies of ‘Piggie Parade’. Thank you.

Here! Don’t you start doing a documentary on us, young man.

This is my wife Audrey. She smells a bit, but she’s got a heart of gold.

I wish to plead incompetence.

There is nothing quite as wonderful as money!
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash!

Well I think TV’s killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the bead repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning.

You’re a loony.