I like Chinese.
I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that.
I’ve told you once.
Oh yes, well, I mean, there were some people who said my film 2001: A Space Odyssey, was similar to Stanley Kubrick’s. I mean, that’s the sort of petty critical niggling that’s dogged my career. It makes me sick. I mean, as soon as I’d made Midnight Cowboy with the vicar as Ratso Rizzo, John Schlesinger rushes out his version, and gets it premiered while mine’s still at the chemist’s.
You can keep your fastidious continental bidets Mrs Foreigner - Mrs Britain knows how to keep her feet clean … but she’ll baffle like bingo boys when it comes to keeping the television screen clean…
But there is still nothing to match the huge sweep … the majestic power of what is surely his greatest work: “Can I Have Fifty Pounds to Mend the Shed?”
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Oh, bugger.
And don’t forget the Hercules Hold-'em-in, the all-purpose concrete truss for the man with the family hernia.
Well it’s funny you should ask that, but I’ve just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
I mean, if I went around saying some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.
It all falls into place. More wine?
I don’t like spam!
But our sales would plummet!
I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
You sound vewwy sure … have you checked?
He has a wife, you know…
It’s an entirely new strain of sheep, a killer sheep that can not only hold a rifle but is also a first-class shot.
Hello, officer. There seems to have been an accident. Well, several accidents actually.
No, no, no! My fish’s name is Eric. Eric fish. He’s an halibut.