Attila the Hun to see you, sir.
And now for something completely different. A scottsman on a horse.
You’re using coconuts!
Lancelot! Lancelot!
I would like to take this opportunity of complaining about the way in which these shows are continually portraying psychiatrists who make pat diagnoses of patients’ problems without first obtaining their full medical history.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Jack Bodel has defeated Sir Kenneth Clark in the very first round here tonight, and so this big Lincolnshire heavyweight becomes the new Oxford Professor of Fine Art.
No, the whole premise is silly and it’s very badly written. I’m the senior officer here and I haven’t had a funny line yet. So I’m stopping it.
The BBC would like to apologize for the poor quality of the writing in that sketch. It is not BBC policy to get easy laughs with words like bum, knickers, botty or wee-wees.
Dear Sir,
I object strongly to the letters on your program. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh.
Yours sincerely etc.,
William Knickers.
I’m sorry sir, but we’re not allowed to change.
You see, you know that is the trouble with living half way up a cliff - you feel so cut off. You know it takes me two hours every morning to get out onto the moors, collect my berries, chastise myself, and two hours back in the evening.
Mr. Notlob, there’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.
Help the Exciting Icelandic Saga, 18b MacNorten Buildings, Oban.
You’re a very silly man and I’m not going to interview you.
Nihi watai bingo cards?
We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni. (Ni!) (Shh!) We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-zrowndum… (Ni!)
O Knights… who until recently said “Ni”…
You don’t mind living in a figment of another man’s imagination?
No. 1. The Larch. The… Larch.