The Larch.
Shut up.
Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. (winks) Keep it up.
I’d like to welcome the pommy bastard to God’s own Earth, and remind him that we don’t like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.
[caption: CONJURING TODAY]
Good evening, last week we learned how to saw a lady in half. This week we’re going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body…
Now Mr Pudey. I’m not going to mince words with you. I’m going to offer you a Research Fellowship on the Anglo-French silly walk.
No, still, it’s not as bad as the old days. Mrs. Stanley Baldwin used to have to get up at five o’clock in the morning and go out and catch partridges with her bare hands.
Stop! Stop this adaptation of ‘Puss-in-Boots’! This is the Police Department of the State of Venezuela!
Sketch just starting, actor wanted.
- Ooh! What’s happening?
- It’s all right. It’s only a flashback.
Oh, go on, just pretend for God’s sake.
I will not buy this tobacconist’s. It is scratched.
My nipples explode with delight!
Take this bus to Cuba.
What does your wife think of this?
Mrs. Scum, I’m offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap.
Righto!
Ken Buddha, a smile, two bangs and a religion.
Oh ho…yes. Cheerful and violent. I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, until he learned to walk, then he took up putting the boot in the groin. Oh he was very interested in that. His mother had such trouble getting him to come in for his tea. He’d be out there putting his little boot in, you know, bless him. You know kids were very different then. They didn’t have their heads filled with all this Cartesian dualism.
But now over to the exploding version of the ‘Blue Danube’.