He has a wife, you know…
Oh…oh. Say no more, say no more.
This is my wife, Audrey. She smells a bit, but she has a heart of gold.
That was episode two of “The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots”, specially adapted for radio by Gracie Fields and Joe Frazier. And now, Radio Four will explode.
- Hey. That was Wilkins of finance.
- Oh, no, that was Robertson.
I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
[Heavy Scots accent] I think she’s dead.
No, I’m not.
Full frontal nudity? Yes I’d do it, if it was valid. Or if the money was valid, and if it were a very small part.
You are Mary, Queen of Scots?
I am!
POW SMASH CRUNCH SPLINTER AIIIEEE!!!
I think she’s dead.
I got better.
Well, you can’t blame British Rail for that.
Yes, well you see, they’ve dragged in all this irrelevant mush…
Throw him to the floor?
I have to push the pram a lot.
But now the men of the Derbyshire Light Infantry entertain us with a precision display of bad temper.
Well we’ve always been extremely interested in modern drama … we were of course the first Townswomen’s Guild to perform ‘Camp On Blood Island’, and last year we did our extremely popular re-enactment of ‘Nazi War Atrocities’. So this year we thought we would like to do something in a lighter vein…
Run away! Run away!
Get the sword out, I want to cut his head off!