Jolly good show, sergeant major.
I fart in your general direction.
No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It’s perfectly easy for somebody just to come along here claiming… that they have a bit to spare in the botty department. The point is Mr. Frampton, our viewers need proof.
You’ve injured Mr Stools!
Good evening. Tonight on ‘Is There’ we examine the question, ‘Is there a life after death?’. And here to discuss it are three dead people… The late Sir Brian Hardacre, former curator of the Imperial War Museum, the late Professor Thynne, until recently an academic, critic, and broadcaster, and putting the view of the Church of England, the very late Prebendary Reverend Ross. Gentlemen, is there a life after death or not? Sir Brian? Professor? … Prebendary?.. Well there we have it, three say no. On ‘Is There’ next week we’ll be discussing the question ‘Is there enough of it about’, and until then, goodnight.
Forty-two years I’ve been in the regular army and I’ve never heard that phrase.
I will not buy this record; it is scratched.
Congratulations on buying the Executive Version of this record.
Say no more!
I thought it was the continental version.
Now we’ve taken this theory one stage further. If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain sizes, we now find that the penguin’s brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was.
Quiet. Quiet. Now wait a minute. I have already warned this programme about infringing the Army copyright of our slogan ‘It’s a pig’s life… man’s life in the modern army’. And I’m warning you if it happens again, I shall come down on this programme like a ton of bricks… right. Carry on sergeant major.
When I applied for this job I thought I’d get a few decent lines but you end up doing the whole thing. I mean my last five speeches have been ‘really, really - I see - I see’ and ‘really’. I wouldn’t give those lines to a dog.
Esurient.
Ooo, wicked! Wicked!
I want you to get to bed, have a good night’s rest and be up on parade early in the morning.
Oh dear, that’ll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.
Dung!
And now for something completely different…
All you have to do is … Spot the Loony!