You’ve got a nice Army base here, Colonel. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to it.
If you really want a regiment of the line that is really saying something about interior decor, then you’ve got to go for the Durham Light Infantry.
Here comes that wacky Queen again.
Listen – strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
CAPTION: ‘IN THIS PERFORMANCE THE PART OF DAVID HEMMINGS WILL BE PLAYED BY A PIECE OF WOOD’
Yes, Discourse. That’s what I meant to post.
All right, Rutherford, I’ll take over.
Well that’s, er, very interesting, because, er, I am, in fact, made entirely of wood.
We’ve been mentioned on telly!
Who leaps out?
And now it’s time for Rugby League, and highlights of this afternoon’s game between Keighley and Hull Kingston Rovers.
Oh, I thought you were rugged! 
Maybe he was dictating.
Hellooooo, Polly!
We interrupt this programme to annoy you and make things generally irritating for you.
Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Well now, the result of last week’s competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs. Hatred of Leicester Said ‘let’s not call them anything, let’s just ignore them’.
Once again, the year has come full circle, and for me there can be no greater privilege, and honor, than to that to which it is my lot to have befallen this evening…
Right! Off you go! Now, everybody else happy with my little plan… of marching up and down the square a bit?
I’m going to operate!
Shut up! This is a hold-up, not a botany lesson. Right, now my fine friends, no false moves please. I want you to hand over all the lupins you’ve got.