bigus dickus
But why is it no one ever remembers Johann Gambolputty… de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
Yes, I copied and pasted that
I think you have your answer…as well as a headache now. Not an aquired taste so much as an appreciation of all that is absurd and British. Or perhaps the particularly British take on absurdity that…
Oh, sod it all. If ya don’t like it, you never will. Run away!
Yes, run away! I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Ahem!
NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!
My bicycle pump got caught in my trouser leg.
She has enormous…tracts of land.
She turned me into a newt…but I got better.
Message for you sir.
Our design combines classical neo-Georgian features with modern techniques. The tenants arrive here, are carried on conveyors in extreme comfort past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor is heavily soundproofed, the blood flows into these troughs here and the mangled flesh is slurped up by these slurpers …
Excuse me.
Yes?
Did you say knives?
Rotating knives, yes.
Are you all proposing to slaughter our tenants?
Does that not fit in with your plans?
No. No, I’m sorry, we wanted a residential block of flats.
Ah, I see. I hadn’t fully divined your attitude towards the tenants.
Yes, but what about the block of flats.
Well, you see, I mainly design slaughterhouses.
No, I’m sorry. we wanted a block of flats.
And not a slaughterhouse?
No, I’m sorry.
This is a real beauty, mind you. None of your blood caked on the walls and hunks of flesh flying out the windows incommoding the passers by. My life’s work’s been leading up to this.
Yes, but we wanted a residential block of flats!
May I ask you to reconsider?
No, I’m sorry.
Yes, well, it’s this sort of blinked Philistine pig ignorance I’ve come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You whining hypocritical toadies sit all day on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads not giving a tinker’s cuss for the struggling artist! You excrement! You and your Tony Jacqueline golf clubs, colour television sets and bleeding secret Masonic handshakes! You wouldn’t let me be a Free Mason, would you? Why, you black balling bastards, I wouldn’t become a Free Mason if you got down on your lousy stinking knees and begged me!
We’re sorry you feel that way.
Nice though the abattoir is.
Oh sod the abattoir! I’d love to be a Free Mason. Free Masonry opens doors for me. I was a bit on edge there but if you let me join I’d be very quiet and sit in the back.
Thank you!
I’ve got a second hand apron.
Thank you!
I nearly got in at Hendon.
Thank You.
And now for the second architect, the Spanish Inquisition.
Well, I was hardly expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition …
Centwuwion! Thwow him woughwy to the fwoor!
It’s only wafer thin, Monsieur!
Oh, all right.
…half a bee, philosophically,
must, ipso facto, half not be!
Oh, you’re no fun any more!
I’m standing here in front of the British Natural History Museum… actually quite by mistake.
I meant to be at Stone Henge.
Now, Stone Henge, though not far from London in England is actually made of large stones from Wales.
This leads to the Question: Did whales bring them?
We think not. Whales are aquatic mammals after all, and would’ve had to travel more than a hundred miles over land. Of course, they may have ridden the stones like tobaggens during the last ice age, as this animation shows. Ian?
[silly cartoon]
ahem Well then. Where were we?
“Because of the immense commercial possibilities should they succeed…”
Regards,
Shodan the Ringleader
Have you ever heard any of the old radio (later TV?) shows with Peter Sellers called The Goonies (maybe The Goons)?
Many of the things Monty Python made popular were first done by Sellers and company.
A friend from Scotland loaned me her tapes, and than asked for them back! I swear…
Good evening. Tonight on ‘It’s the Mind’, we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu. That strange feeling we sometimes get that we’ve lived through something before, that what is happening now has already happened.
read to me now, my pet, from Shakespear’s “Gay Boys in Bondage”
Good evening. Tonight on ‘It’s the Mind’, we examine the phenomenon of déjà vu. That strange feeling we sometimes get that we’ve lived through something before, that what is happening now has
all. . .
ready . . .
happened.
She’s bloody dying and all you bring us is lupins. All we’ve eaten mate for the last four bleeding weeks is lupin soup, roast lupin, steamed lupin, braised lupin in lupin sauce, lupin in the basket with sauted lupins, lupin meringue pie, lupin sorbet… we sit on lupins, we sleep in lupins, we feed the cat on lupins, we burn lupins, we even wear the bloody things!
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor.
And gives to the rich
Stupid bitch.
Why is it that all of you pathetic people can remember every line from Monty Python, yet none of you remember the name of Johann Gambolputty… de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz- ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer- spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein- nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut- gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?