Mooching off an old man is very, very lousy

The BBQ Pit
1

A relative of mine - let’s call her Penny - is living with her father - let’s call him Grandpa - in his house. She’s about 50, he’s about 85. In theory, she’s taking care of him in his old age. In reality…

She barely does anything to help him. The bills are paid with his money. Other people manage his finances and do his laundry. Penny does next to nothing. To make matters worse, she is engaged to a man that everyone in the family despises. He’s a worthless, selfish, un-employed, abusive remora. Plus, he’s ugly. She wants to marry him, and have him move in to Grandpa’s house, but Grandpa hates him, 'cause Grandpa is a dignified, hardworking immigrant who clawed his way into the middle class and still works a few hours a week.

Today I found out that Penny, who pays about $60 a week in “rent” to Grandpa (who, after all, doesn’t have much of a salary), said that she is looking forward to moving out of HIS HOUSE so that he “wouldn’t be getting all of (her) money anymore.”

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

That woman makes my flesh crawl! She is totally mooching off Grandpa, and it doesn’t even occur to her to try to disguise that. She thinks she has some god-given right to sponge. If she had two frackin’ brain cells to rub together, she’d realize that after she marries that disgusting, low-down, hoser of a goat-felching wanker she calls a boyfriend and moves out of Grandpa’s house, she’s going to have to PAY MORE in rent. Doesn’t she see that she has the sweetest deal possible? What the fuck does she have to pay in rent? $60 a week? This woman is a professional with a decent income. Give me a freakin’ break! Where the shit does she think she’s gonna live for less than that? Try a bloody cardboard box, ya stupid wretch. PLUS, she doesn’t have to pay utilities AND she’s got a washer and dryer AND Grandpa pays for her car. What the Christ else does she want? It makes me fuckin’ insane! I pray, I PRAY, that when Grandpa dies (god forbid it be soon, the sweet man) that the rest of the family kick her no-good, lazy, corrupt, bloated, pathetic excuse for an ass out of that house. Then I hope they sell it, and don’t give her a share to make up for the 50 years worth of grubbing that she’s done. I swear, she is such an annoying bitch, and her boyfriend is a cocksucking bastard.
ok, I feel better now. Feel free to chime in with rants about family members to whom you’d rather not have a genetic tie.

2

Your local community services will have a division that investigates elder abuse. Please have them look into the situation right away. It is sad to see such blatant parasitism.

Please post when you find out the upshot of the investigation. You may need to sit down and seriously discuss your concerns with Grandpa too.

Best wishes in this difficult and revolting situation.

3

Zenster,
Thank you for your concern. While Penny is a parasite, as you note, there’s no elder abuse here. While I obviously wish the situation would change, and although I think Grandpa is saddened by his daughter’s lack of responsibility, he is certainly not physically endangered in any way. I didn’t think the OP implied that, but I’m sorry if it was misleading - I just needed to blow off some steam. Again, thanks.

4

Just because she isn’t beating him up does not mean that there isn’t abuse going on here. Abuse takes many forms be it physical, emotional, or in this case… financial abuse.

5

Hmm. I never thought about it that way. Maybe that’s because my family is pretty close-knit, and likes to help one another out in many different ways, including financially. Obviously, I don’t agree with Penny’s tactic, but I wouldn’t have called it abuse. I’ll talk to someone else in my family who’s a little closer to the situation about whether some action needs to be taken. Thanks for your support.

6

My youngest brother lived at home well into his twenties, and Mom and Dad did everything they could think of to get him to grow up and start sharing some of the household responsibilities. He eventually got mad and moved out, which you would think was a good thing.

Unfortunately, Mom had a stroke a couple of days after he moved out. Dad figured that, while Mom wanted my brother to behave differently, she still wanted his company.

Different situation than yours in that my brother eventually DID grow up and is married and holding a full-time job, and sharing household responsibilities with his spouse, while your female relative, at her age, is probably past any hope of maturing. But it could be that Grampa is willing to put up with her bad behavior in order to have the benefit of her company. Is he upset that she is threatening to move out, or do you think he will be glad to see her go?

7

I thought this would be a thread about Anna Nicole Smith and her current (notorious) lawsuit.

8

It’s a good question, Spider Woman. You’re right: I think that he wants and needs her there, but would prefer that she take some responsibility - that she pay her rent, help out with chores, keep the place clean, do some cooking and so forth. She’s supposed to be assisting him and running the household, but in reality, others in the family are taking care of Grandpa. Certainly, one reason that this situation is upsetting to my family is that, naturually, we all want Grandpa to be happy in the last years of his life. But as you point out, it may be too late to instill a sense of responsibility in Penny. sigh

9

FTR, it’s no longer current. It was settled, and she wound up about 400 million dollars richer. It was the amount that the guys fortune increased while they were “married”. And yes I though it was about her too.

Don’t ask me how I know this, but lets just say the entertainment section is the first one I turn to every morning.