There is a guy hanging around my 92 year old widowed aunt. He is getting money from her legally (unfortunately) .
We have gone the legal route with this crook, but it hasn’t worked. We don’t want to use violence and never would.
There are many devious minds on these boards. Any suggestions on how to get this leach to stay away from her? (He is spending my inheritance)
Is he making her happy?
You had me until the last sentence. Is your concern he’s ruining her ability to care for herself or your future inheritance?
It’s her money, not your inheritance. If she’s in possession of her mental faculties and he’s not doing anything illegal, I think you’re out of luck.
Just out of curiosity, what “legal route” did you take that didn’t work?
I agree that if your aunt is happy with the situation, there’s nothing you should do – it’s her money. The only thing I’d worry about is whether he’s taking so much that she won’t be able to support herself. Kinda hard to find a job at 92.
He has been convicted of fraud in the past. He and his buddies look for rich widows and move in on them. He is 45 years old and gay, so it is not as if she is in love with him. She is a free spirit and likes to have fun.
He is supposed to be paid 5k a month as her driver and caregiver. He and his pals end up going out to VERY expensive dinners with her and she pays for everything.
He also always seems to end up with 2-3 thousand more a month than he is supposed to be getting. My uncle died 3 years ago and they have gone through almost 2 million and her money is running out.
Boy, Im getting more pissed off the more I write.
We actually have partial conservatorship over her but this leach keeps getting her to spend more than her monthly budget.
And there is a trust in place which he keeps trying to get her to change.
We are going to go back to court to try to get full conservatorship but I am afraid one of my hotheaded brothers may go want to have a “talk” with him and end up in jail if we don’t get it.
Unfortunately, I’m usually not too good at the devious stuff, so let’s try the straightforward approach. I’d try to spend a little more time with your aunt and find out what she’s getting from this guy and all that. The more information you have, the more opportunities to do something useful. And while you’re at it, try to think about it from her point of view. That can’t hurt.
Good advice. Thanks!
If shes happy, maybe that’s enough.
If not…
set up a hidden video surveillance camera in the living room, leave cash in envelope clearly marked (X’s rent money, or something), wait and see what happens.
Well, the more time you spend with your aunt should mean less time that he does…or at least he knows someone is looking out for her. That’s what you’re doing, correct? Looking out for her?
Ps. You should recommend to her that she donate your so-called inheritance to a charity of her choice. Just to make sure that no one accuses you of ulterior motives.
Have no fear, Gus is here with the solution.
In light of the recent economic downturn, I offer the following:
Get rid of the mooching bum, and I will do all the same tasks and more for only $4,000 per month, I require only a modest monthly meal allowance of $1,000 per month, and as an added bonus I will treat her as if she were my very own dear aunty.
I will take her to bingo, church on Sundays and all the places elderly people love to visit.
I will also make it my #1 priority to protect your future inherritence and speak highly of you on all opportunities so that auntie will remember what a dear and sweet nephew she has.
As an added bonus, you can pay me in Canadian dollars.
I am at your service.
Gus
Typical now even the leach conman jobs become subject to NAFTA.
If you’re concerned about losing your what you may inherit, first ask yourself, what is this guy giving your aunt? And then YOU give her what the other guy is. Since you say he’s gay we’ll assume there is nothing sexual, so in order to get money out of her he must be giving her friendship.
People at all ages get lonely and the need to exchange money for some companionship isn’t that unusual.
I don’t necessarily see the words “My inheritence” as a bad thing, though it can be. Some people spend years taking care of elderly relatives only to find some swift talker moves in, in the last month victimizes the person and denies you what in some sense you earned. Granted you don’t take care of someone for a reward but you get my point. I’ve seen wills where the father leaves all his money to an estranged son because he feels guilty while the rest of the family took care of him for 20 years and winds up broke.
Again you don’t take care of someone for profit but there is an element of fairness you have to deal with.
The easiest way to deal with this is go to the park find a crackhead and pay him $50.00 to “deal” with the problem. That way your hands are clean.
I volunteer at a retirement center, and believe me the one thing you can’t tell an old person is what to do. It’s impossible. It’s like one lady there was told to stop knitting as it’s aggrivating her arthritis. “What does he know?” Was her answer to her doctors order. She ain’t ever gonna stop knittiing no matter what anyone says or how much it hurts her. So why argue. Knitting obviously brings her more joy than pain.
So the two ways to handle this is pay the crackhead or find out why your aunt is spending time with this guy and YOU then take over his role and provide your aunt what he is giving her
My brother and I discussed that last night. He found a guy who could install it and since the house is in the trust that we are all a part of, it would even be legal. (we think)
She never goes to church (except funerals) doesn’t do “elderly people” stuff and told us recently, “Ive never had marijuana. I’d really like to try some”
And how do I know we can trust you, Gus? What if she wanted to marry you and you got it all?
She is a bit odd, to say the least. And we are looking out for her. We would always be there for her.
But she likes her own little circle of “friends”. And this guy is one of them. We weren’t even worried about our “inheritance” until another friend of hers saw this guy slap her in the face at a restaurant.
My aunt denies it saying he was waving away smoke near her face. Of course there is no smoking in the restaurant.
Then we started looking closer at all the money she was spending on this guy and his buddies and decided we had to stop it before it was all gone. And I mean all gone and she had nothing to live on, much less leave her heirs.
We just want to get this guy to go away.
Oh yeah, you can really trust a crackhead. And like i said above, no violence!
We have discussed hiring someone to just follow him around and stare at him until he “thought” there could be some.
Is that legal?
Gee on tv it works like this;
You know he’s a conman. You hire someone to find out every little detail of his past until you find something to blackmail him away with. Bad finances. Outstanding creditors looking for him. Warrants in other locals, another victim coming forward to wise up Auntie, etc.
Another suggestion;
Carry out your own scam, along the lines of, “Oh God, Auntie’s lost everything in a bad investment!” and watch how soon the rat jumps the sinking ship. Problem solved.
Ultimately, of course, it’s her wealth, she created it/inherited it, and it’s hers to spend on whatever she chooses. Internet porn, bad investments, boy toys, whatever. It’s not far removed from rich old men getting taken to the cleaners by young hotty gold diggers. Maybe draw the parallel for her, see if it makes a dent.
Good luck to you this cannot be an easy thing to stand by and watch. Do let us know how it’s going from time to time, please. Not that we care so much about your inheritance, but about your poor Auntie.
I have an odd feeling that there’s something you’re not telling us, koufax. Where did this guy come from? How did he befriend your aunt? Is it entirely possible that she took him on as a friend because she felt you and brother are circling her like vultures? Do you live with her? Do you have a job? Need more info, bro.