You don't even deserve the backwash in your mother's soda can

Ugh. Let me start by saying that I do have an unusually amazing family. I love and adore my family, and except for a few bad apples, I know that I am extremely lucky to have a family such as them. We have our slight differences, but they’re always worked out in the end. Usually.

With that said - one of my second cousins can kiss my ass as well as the asses of every single person in the family for what she’s done to her mother. She’s an evil bitch and if it were up to me, the cops would be throwing her ass in jail right now. Her mother is my mom’s aunt - my great-aunt, my late maternal grandmother’s sister. Because she and my grandmother were so close, my family has grown up knowing her family well - my mom is very close to her, especially since my grandmother died two years ago. She’s ill with a severe case of diabetes and heart disease. We’ve had a few close calls where we’ve nearly lost her, and most of the family, including my mom and my great-aunt’s two sons, is trying to make sure her affairs are in order to make her life a little easier. One of her sons just moved in with her in order to take care of her since his sister has moved out, and came across some very interesting information.

My great-aunt and her husband, who passed away several years ago, never went into debt for anything but their house in their whole lives. They never used credit cards, they paid everything up front, and they had spotless credit. Since my second cousin just moved in with my aunt, he answered the phone and spoke with someone from a credit card company. Apparently, there’s a HUGE amount of money on a credit card in my aunt’s name. Which is really funny, because she’s never used credit cards in her entire life.

So of course, my cousin, realizing that his sister had power of attorney before he did, and realizing that there might be more to the story, has checked with the bank about the house. There’s tens of thousands of dollars in lien on the house. Wonderful. She’d taken out a lien against the house for more money.

And of course, it doesn’t end there. The electric bill hasn’t been paid in nine months - my other cousin just discovered this last week. Thank God the electric company has been kind enough not to turn it off because my aunt is on oxygen - but holy mother of shit! The woman is in her eighties and extremely ill! You don’t let her electric bill go unpaid! She’s also supposed to be on Medicaid. Turns out, her daughter CANCELLED her Medicaid. My cousin discovered this when he went to pick up her prescriptions. So he had to pay for those out of pocket, and they are NOT cheap - they’re in the hundreds.

Add this to the other bills that have been found here and there, and we are all LIVID. My ‘cousin’ (I use that term lightly now) ran off with my aunt’s jewelry and her collection of dolls - both worth a TON of money, and things that should rightfully go to the granddaughters. Luckily, my other cousin made her return with it and give it back - so now my mom was talking about getting it to HIDE it from ‘the cousin’ - because the granddaughters are entitled to that and the dolls. I just spoke to my aunt on the phone and she told me she wanted me to come take her doll collection (which I’ll do, only to make sure my cousin doesn’t take it, so that I can give it to my other cousins, my aunt’s granddaughters, who are the rightful ones to take it).

Now, to my dear ‘cousin’. You are fucking dead to me. You took advantage of a poor old woman who has done NOTHING but love you and give you everything she had for her entire life! You USED her to further your fucking spending habits and you can go to hell. God only knows how fucking long it’s been since you actually talked to her - but you should have heard the hurt in her voice today. How in God’s name can you do this to your MOTHER? You’d better thank your lucky fucking stars that your brothers are a lot nicer than my mother and I are because your ass would be in jail for fraud right now if we could do it (I don’t know how plausible that would be since she had power of attorney but she no longer has it). Do NOT expect any invitations to important family gatherings. Do NOT expect any of us to be civil when we see you, and do NOT expect us to push what you’ve done to your mother aside for ‘family harmony’. You have earned the utter distaste of every single one of us, and I will do whatever I can to make sure that you take NOTHING more from your mother. She may be dying, but she is NOT dead and you will NOT make her life difficult in the end. You are no longer my cousin and you will NEVER be treated as a member of my family again.


That poor mother. It would probably have hurt her less to have had her daughter die, and psychiatrists say that the pain of losing a child is the worst.

If there is any silver lining at all it is that the rest of the family, including the brothers, sound like responsible loving people. I can’t stand it when helpless people are hurt. Give her lots and lots of attention, make out a damned schedule if necessary, and keep her surrounded by family. And don’t ever let her be alone with the daughter.

OMG, she sounds positively evil! Has anyone considered talking to a lawyer to find out if any action can be taken against her?

What’s funny is that this cousin who’s now trying to sort out the mess - he used to be the screw-up. He used to be dishonest, etc., but that was a long, long time ago and he has more than made up to his family for it. I’m really impressed with him and how he’s behaved during all of this. He’s really become so much more responsible and caring.

I’m just so angry with her that I can’t see straight. I’ve never understood how people can treat their family like this. And believe me, I don’t think my aunt wants her daughter anywhere near her at this point in time. Luckily, her sons will make sure it stays that way.


Ugh…I had an uncle and his adopted son that did this to my grandfather. My dad had to handle alot of it himself, and I’m amazed the man didn’t have a heart attack through that whole fiasco. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone in my entire life sustain such a burning vitriolic rage for such a long period of time. I swear his fuse was lit for MONTHS.

Just tragic. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know well from experience just exactly what this can do to a family. Stay strong.

This might qualify as elder abuse, even if she had power of attorney.

I would sure as shinola find out…

Oh, believe me, we are. My cousin (the good one) is trying to get things straightened out at the moment, and as soon as he gets the bills caught up, he’s calling an attorney to see if he has a case. Personally, I’d call the police, but it’s not up to me. My mom is practically another daughter, so she’s being kept in the loop as much as possible.

Cerri, thanks. This is extremely difficult. And the biggest thing is that I just don’t know how FAMILY can do this. That’s what bothers me the most. I would never think of doing this to my mother or my dad or my grandma.


IANAL, but wouldn’t the bitch-cousin-from hell also be guilty of identity theft? (not that that’s any worse than elder abuse, which is, IMO, wayyy the fuck up there with child abuse for sheer scumminess. But it might get her an extra penalty, legal-wise)

That’s what I thought, but my family says that they don’t think so. It pisses me off - she basically DID steal my aunt’s identity.

I just pray she doesn’t show up at my cousin’s wedding in a few months. I don’t think any of us would create a scene, but it still makes me a bit nervous.