Damn, this board is saving me hella therepy bills.
I have a friend who has been in a relationship for 7 years, since sophmore year in college. We have what I would normally consider a flirtious relationship, verbal banter, pillow fights, pig-tail pulling, except he is in love with his girlfriend, and so I assumed he was just an outgoing kind of guy.
Now, look at the site and tell me whether you think he was sending it to me because this chick is obsessed (and therefore it’s funny?), because he thinks it’s good poetry, or…for other reasons.
I get confused when men in relationships send me links to love poetry sites.
To complicate matters, SisterRiddles has a HUGE crush on him. Damn, you name a girl Brooke, and I guess her life is destined to be a soap opera…
If he didn’t attach a note with the e-mail, explaining his actions, I think it’s safe to assume there’s nothing more to it, and then if there actually is, it’s fair enough that you didn’t figure that out.
Um. If I send you a link with romantic stuff and pull on your pigtails…
Never mind.
SR, I’m sure there are multiple reasons. The most important one (though possibly only on a sub-conscious level) is that he’s really interested in you. That doesn’t mean he’s willing to give up his girlfriend for you.
It’s been my experience (34+ years being a guy), that guys do not flirt just for fun. Sure, it’s enjoyable if the girl flirts back, but there is an ulterior motive. He’s scoping you out. He wants to know how you feel about him; so he flirts and sends romantic messages, and watches the reaction.
Since what I’ve said so far sounds like something that should be put in GD, I’ll continue along those lines…
Guys are not by nature monogamous. Even if they are not interested in leaving their SO’s, they still want to know that the option is there. Therefore, your reaction to this is very important. Rhetorical question: What message do you want to send? If it’s a “not interested”, then he’ll probably back off. If it’s an “interested”, I think you can expect more of the same, but with even less subtlety.
Disclaimer: This is merely my application of pop-psychology, and I may be talking completely out of my ass.
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
Sheesh, here you go, Rilch.
Uh, SR, being a guy of 18+ years experience, I can say conclusively that I don’t even understand girls, and until I do I’m leaving guys alone.
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
All it means is that he sent you a really nice site. Someone probably sent it to him. We all do that all the time, especially on icq. Someone sends you a site and you send it on, no meaning attached.
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Let’s see, according to your homepage, youve been together since sophomore year of college? How old were you when you went to college? 16? Sheesh, you must be a smart girl.
Ah, men love giving double messages…sigh
“Men are like parking spaces, the available ones are handicapped.”
My homepage? Or the site that Relationship Boy sent me?
Relationship boy is 26. He has been with his girlfriend for 7 years. They started dating sophmore year in college.
I am not dating anyone now, nor have I finished my sophmore year in college. I am 20. I have known relationship boy for a total of 4 months, we are in the same improv comedy group. We also hang out, along with SisterRiddles, who has a crush on him.
Is that clearer? I graduated high school at 17, as normal people do.
(incidently: don’t think I’m naive enough to think that he’d leave the girlfriend for me. Even if he wanted to, she’s been too much a part of his life for too long. My question is: how do I respond to this? “Thanks. Nice site?” I have to work with this guy in our improv group. Incidently, if he WASN’T with his girlfriend, I’d be on him faster than ants on a lollypop. If that makes a difference.)
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
It’s a hard call. If he didn’t explain why he sent it to you, your being clueless about it is understandable.
Not knowing the guy, I cannot say for sure. If it were me,… well, that’s impossible - he has a girlfriend, so right there I’m out. If he didn’t have a girlfriend, it could be a subtle clue he’s interested. Read that a non-commitive way to think you sent a clue that is vague and unreadable from the other end. I know, I’m good at those.
You could try a couple different approaches. One is be coy, and wait for him to bring it up. If he meant something special by it, he will have to work it into conversation at some point. “So, did you get the site I sent, that love poetry stuff?” When he brings it up, then ask him what he meant.
You could be blunt. Say, “So I got that poetry site, what about it was so important?” Or “Does your girlfriend know you’re sending love poetry to other women?” ::wink wink:: That might play it off as a joke rather than an accusation.
And tell SisterRiddles to find her own improv buddy.
