More Murphy's laws

Lets create some more Murphy’s Laws, you know, “whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time…”

here’s mine for starters

if you get snow tires installed on your car, it won’t snow

and the corrolary;

if you decide to take a chance this season and not put snow tires on your car, it will snow, in fact it will be a blizzard

if the other reason you put snow tires on is that the weather is getting cold and wet and condusive to snowfall, as soon as the snows are installed, it will get nice and warm

however…snow tires may grant you the temporary conditional ability to make it snow…, all you need to do is step outside and say “i’m taking my snow tires off”, then it should snow

what other unofficial murphy’s laws have you encountered

Here is the origin of Murphy’s Law.

Backups? We doan need no steenken’ backups!!

Threads that were started to enhance or otherwise comment on Murphy’s Law will die quickly and fall off the front page forthwith.
(Sorry, MacTech)

Two day after the warranty expires, so does the product that the warranty covered.

I just bought a Snow blower and many people have thanked me for ensure we will have little snow this winter.

Last year my bus driver bought a snow blower. I thanked him for ensuring that we’d get no snow, and said I’d split the cost of the snowblower with him if it didn’t snow all season.

Of course, it did eventually snow, but there was a while there where I was sweating over my promise :wink:
If I wash my car, it will rain.

If I mow the lawn, it will rain.

If I forget to water the garden, it won’t rain.

If I wash my car, but forget to water my garden, the toast will land butter side up.

My FIL’s favorite experiment:
Take one healthy cat and attach a piece of toast to its back.
Butter the side of the toast that is not against the cat.
Pick up cat, hold sideways and drop from a 5 foot height.

Which way will it land?
Cats always land on their feet!
Toast always lands butter side down!
Thus a basic law will have to be broken.

Disclaimer: he has never actually tried this, but not for fear of harming the cat, for fear of destroying the fabric of space.


The year my husband bought a snow blower (the year after we got several feet of snow), we got a couple of inches, total, for the whole winter.
The following year, we got a massive blizzard, so Murphy forgot about our snow blower.

When I lived in L.A. the power would go out at least once every rainy season. I bought a Coleman lantern. The power went out once after that (not including the Northridge quake) and came back on in the time it took me to stand up to light the lantern (which was hanging from an old swag lamp hook).

The fellow who won a Coleman lantern as a doorprize (that’s me) will never have an occasion to use one. It’s been 5 years now.

Wherever Eddie goes, Charlie won’t be far behind.

I keep forgetting to get a new lamp for the floodlight on the back porch, so I use my Coleman lantern on a hook on a post when I’m BBQ-ing.

I remember too many funny but true ones to create them, so (hijack):
[li]A part will fall where it will do the most harm[/li][li]If a kit requires n parts, it will arrive with (n-1)[/li][li]A $400 picture tube will blow out first, thus protecting a 50 cent fuse[/li][li]The importance of a tool is directly proportional to its distance from the work site[/li][/ul]

Murphy’s Top 10 Laws of Computing

  1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to

  2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s
    probably obsolete.

  3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual
    where you’d least expect to find it.

  4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

  5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite

  6. To err is human… to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more
    human, its downright natural.

  7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

  8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

  9. A complex system that doesn’t work is invariably found to have evolved
    from a simpler system that worked just fine.

  10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely
    what you want it to do.


  1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

  2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
    the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling
    the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

  3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

  4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
    up there wishing you were down here.

  5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

  6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to
    keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
    start sweating.

  7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
    with the sky.

  8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’
    landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

  9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to
    make all of them yourself.

  10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
    to taxi to the ramp.

  11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the
    angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of
    survival and vice versa.

  12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get
    to five minutes earlier.

  13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
    about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
    Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
    out in clouds.

  14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
    number of take offs you’ve made.

  15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
    Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

  16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of
    experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you
    empty the bag of luck.

  17. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels

  18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going
    round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the
    passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

  19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
    hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
    the ground has yet to lose.

  20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
    experience usually comes from bad judgment.

  21. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
    much as possible.

  22. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.

  23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And
    it’s not subject to repeal.

  24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above
    you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

  25. The three most useless things in aviation are, altitude above
    you, runway behind you, and gasoline on the ground.

The year after the massive snowstorm I bought big Kodiak Sorell boots. The next winter I walked home 5 kms in the rain on December 24th. The year after that was a moderate winter. I moved to Vancouver, and always brought the boots along on ski outing trips. Seldom wore the things. I needed them the year I was pregnant. My feet were too swollen to wear the things. And so it goes. 9 years old these boots are, and just barely broken in.

No matter from what height a cat falls it always lands on its feet…WRONG!
An Irish cat always lands on its head :wink:

I have always found that whenever I place a plastic bag full of groceries on the floor (e.g. to open the door to the house when I arrive back from Sainsbury’s), it will always fall in the opposite direction from that which I had anticipated, scientifically based on the size, shape and disposition of the various articles therein. This is especially true if the bag contains a 2-litre bottle of fizzy soft drink, which will be so shaken up by its violent impact on the floor that it will be 4 week before it can be safely opened.

If you wash the car, it will rain.
Washing the car with the intent of triggering rain will not work.