Every possible answer to this boils down to “Because I don’t care how uncomfortable I make people who aren’t me.”
Are you absolutely positive there’s no way he can handle the rent if you move out? This doesn’t sound like an arrangement either of you would have agreed if you’d been moving with a better timeline, you’ve given it a shot, and these aren’t issues that are going to go away or become less annoying.
Maybe this will handle itself. The girl has to realize at some point that he’s mostly into it because he hopes she will drive him places in her car. He’s obsessed with the idea of other people taking him places in their cars- he had some out-of-town guests a while back. I never learned their names, how he knows them, or what they were going to do in the city, but I did hear him prattle excitedly about all the places they could potentially drive him (yeah, I’m sure they want to spend their vacation in the city driving you to Ikea.) I can’t figure out why he doesn’t just get a Zip Car, which 90% of our peer group uses for stuff like this. Anyway, I got to witness this great conversation…
Roomie: Hey look, a granola bar!
Girl: uh huh.
Roomie: You know who has great granola bars? Costco. Hey Sven, do you remember something our landlord said about Costco…I seem to remember something…
Me: Yeah. It’s far away.
Girl: It’s in Maryland or something.
Roomie: Oooooohhhhhh…sooo to get to Costco, you’d have to drive. You’d have to drive in a car…
Me being a bitch: Hey Roomie, why don’t you just get a Zip Car like everyone else in the city?
Roomie: The lot is so far away.
Me: No, it’s at school.
Roomie: Soooooo far. It wouldn’t be worth it. But if someone, say, drove…
Me: Dude, it’s a 20 minute walk. That’s where you sexiled me last night, remember? I think you can make it.
Roomie: But it’s so expensive. Going in a car, on the other hand…
Me: It’s $50 a year, $6.50 an hour including gas. Are you really saying you couldn’t swing that?
Roomie: People with cars, they can just drive to Costco. For example, they could drive their friends to Costco…
Girl: Uh, do you want me to drive you to Costco?
Roomie: Oh really? I hadn’t considered that idea. That’d be great!
On the other hand, after several weeks of dating she has offered to pay twice, and both times magically found that she had forgot her money.
Seems like a match made in heaven! If only bad people could be bad people to each other without me having to be a part of it!
They can - just not yet. 
For what it’s worth, my tolerance for your roomie would be about one short conversation at a party before I’d want to get away and never talk to him again.
Damn, I’m half tempted to find Sven a better apartment myself. I don’t think I could find a worse one.
You said you worked with him in the Peace Corps. How…did you not realize his behavior then? I thought he was a random guy and felt sympathy. Now I’m not so sure.
Sounds like you are having issues because you have one semi-private bedroom and a second non-private bedroom that also serves as a living room. That’s not an equal arrangement no matter how you slice it. I think your best solution is to try and create two private areas instead. Here would be my proposal, which would cost each roommate $400-500 (or less, if you can get used stuff):
Declare that the living room is no longer a common area – It is now a dedicated bedroom. Buy or create screens as needed to cordon off at least the bed, to give that person as much privacy as possible.
The person who will live in this room is responsible for buying a second twin bed, if desired, which they can place next to the existing twin to create a queen bed. From this point forward, there will be no sharing of beds. (Ick.)
This person will be given exclusive access to the existing couch and t.v.
Whoever gets the smaller, more private bedroom is responsible for buying a second t.v., which will be for his/her exclusive use. They can also buy a small couch or futon, if there is space. If not, they can buy pillows so that the bed can also serve as a couch when guests are over.
If desired, investigate ways to further soundproof the two areas, even if it means stuffing cheap foam between the divider wall and ceiling. And/or invest in some good noise-reducing headphones so that when a lover is over, you can block out their noises.
Now you have two “studio” bedrooms. The only common areas are the kitchen and bathroom. Ignore each other as much as possible.
I can answer this one. You can be friends, even close friends, with someone for a really, really long time, and be completely unaware that they are hell on wheels in a roommate situation. There are a lot of behaviors that are completely annoying and unacceptable in a roommate/housemate that just really never come up in a regular friend relationship.
I am speaking from experience here. I moved in with five good friends for my junior year of college. We all liked each other, and some of us were really tight friends prior to moving in. During the year we all lived with each other, I am amazed we managed not to kill each other. When I’m friends with you and going out to see movies and socialize with you on a regular basis, I really don’t care that you have a habit of buying Marie Callender ready-made fruit pies, eating half at a time, and stashing the other half under your bed, where it will eventually smell bad and attract vermin. (And more to the point, it is really unlikely I am going to know about this behavior in the first place.) When you are living in the same house as me, it’s really hard to miss that sort of thing.
I knew he was a bit of an ass, but I realize now that most of the time that I’ve spent with him has been in a group setting when he’s been on good behavior because he’s trying to pick up a girl. The plan was never for us to live together on our own, that’s just what happened when our big house plans fell apart and we were both arriving in DC with no place to go.
I say when he’s gone one day take all that tall furniture and set him up a private space whether he wants it or not.
Sweet Jesus then I stand corrected. My roommates have all been /friends/classmates and never close friends so in the event the situation didn’t work out I wouldn’t lose a good friend.
Yes, one of my life rules these days is “don’t move in with friends, unless you are their significant other.” I implemented this life rule after the living situation I mentioned in my previous post.
I’m going to echo a few others in this thread and say that -at this point- you’re the one being unreasonable, not him.
You like your space. You like your privacy. And what’s been made abundantly clear from a couple of different threads is that you like your routine. Nothing wrong with any of this at all.
But you went into a ONE BEDROOM apartment with this guy and occassionally he’s going to do things that disrupt your routine. It’s simply going to happen not because he’s rude or inconsiderate but because he’s an actual human being rather than a robot. But what he’s done thus far hasn’t really been far out there in terms of pinging my offend-o-meter. It’s simply that the two of you haven’t discussed these situations and there’s no point of reference in terms of what’s considered appropriate behavior. So how in the world would he know that you have a 1-hour-shit-shower-and-get-the-hell-out rule if you don’t tell him?
Have a talk with him and don’t come at it with an attitude of “he’s wrong and I’m right and we’re going to settle this conflict of him disrupting my schedule once and for all.” This is a chance for you two to actually figure out how to live together and establish some rules. By god, you may just find out in the meeting how annoying you’ve been but haven’t even noticed because he’s quietly stewed about it (or posted on his own message board) and not told you.
Either BOTH of you need to find a way to compromise, or one of you needs to move out. This isn’t a matter of right and wrong, it’s just about logistics and compatibility.
This. This. A thousand times THIS.
I shared a one bedroom in college with a roommate and this is how we handled the separation of space. He got the bedroom (and thus, a door), but I got the much bigger living room and easier access to the kitchen.
It worked out much better for the both of us. Who would want to try to share a small single bedroom or… eww!.. share a bed for sexcapades.
Good advice. I’m going to post a “how the hell do you find a compatible roommate” thread pretty soon, because I’m at a loss. I live with my SO now, but he’s leaving for law school in the summer. I’ve had six roommates since I left home and just one was truly compatible with me till the end and it was a total fluke - she just lived across the hall from me in the freshman honors dorm. Of the other five, four were slobs to varying degrees and one became a drunk when he couldn’t find a job after grad school. Another freaked out when a friend of mine saw him at a gay bar (he’s in the closet) and he avoided me from then on. So I’m pretty much at a loss as to how to find actually compatible people to live with.