Here are the facts:
What do you think I should do?
Any thoughts?
Tell roommate that for $55, she can can get a room at Motel 6.
Yeah. Where the hell do you live that all of your monthly bills are $55?
As for moving out for two nights, hell no! Let them go to a hotel. That’s what they are there for, right?
That’s a pretty personal (financially, anyways) question.
For me? Nope, you’d have to offer me several hundred dollars to get me out of my house for two nights.
Is it worth it to you? Maybe.
Do you have a friend’s house you can crash at?
Is it going to be a major inconvenience to everyone involved?
You can’t have sex for two straight days. I assume you work or go to school. Can’t they just boink each other’s brains out when you’re at school or sleeping and when your around/awake, use that time for eating and watching movies or going out to a bar or something?
They should at least pay for a nice hotel for you on top of the $55. Work it.
Correction: $55 is my share. Total is $110ish.
But Thanks for the quick replies.
ZenBeam: Hahaha. Thank you for the suggestion.
I’d say, if she’s going to pay your share of the bills and pay for a nice hotel room for you to stay in, and pay for your meal costs while you’re staying somewhere not-your-house, it would be worth it - as long as you get to pick the hotel, and you choose somewhere convenient for the things you need to do on those days.
You might want to point out that she would save money if she paid for her and her boyfriend to stay in a hotel, in that case…
Nicole: I completely agree with your suggestion. Their proposal mainly benefits them. Having to only pay $55 for 2 days/nights, while I have to inconveniently impose myself in someone else’s home. They should simply pay for a hotel room like they have been doing in the past.
For me it would take at least enough money for two nights at a NICE hotel and enough spending money to keep me entertained.
Don’t help someone be a chaeater.
You don’t have to call the guy’s wife, but don’t facilitate their selfishness and lack of decency.
I wouldn’t necessarily expect a hotel, but if I am staying at a friend’s house then I have to properly thank my friend for their hospitality – buy groceries, take them to the movies, whatever. Or, just split the money with them. Either way $55 doesn’t go very far between two people. Two months worth of bills, that I might consider.
You don’t want to take money to be a homewrecker. Take the high road…tell your roommate she shouldn’t be having affairs with married family men.
The OP isn’t being a homewrecker and really shouldn’t be made to feel even a little responsible for this. He/She even said up until now they went somewhere else. It’s not like if the OP stays home or tells them not to do it, they’ll just stop.
She’s her roommate, not her mom. The guy is the guilty party, then Lehk’s roomie. Lehk plays no role in their affair, and is not responsible for what her roommate does. I don’t buy into the whole “homewrecker” thing where it’s on the “other woman” to take the high road and shut the affair down, when it is the one who took the vows who is wrecking the home.
Anyway, yeah, they should get a hotel room.
If I were going to call anyone in this situation a “homewrecker” (I wouldn’t, I hate the term) it would be the man cheating on his wife. Possibly, at a stretch, the OP’s roommate. In no way is the OP a homewrecker, and her taking money or not wouldn’t make her one. That’s a bizarre assertion.
As for telling the roommate who she should and shouldn’t be sleeping with. Well, I can see no way in which that could wrong. Particularly if you can cloak it in patronising moral tones, too! Bonus! Their continued living situation wouldn’t get at all awkward after that.
Leaving aside the cheating issue, I don’t think this is an unreasonable roommate interaction. Roommate A warns B that she has out of town boyfriend coming in town for a sex weekend, asks if there’s a way B can stay elsewhere. Roommate B can be nice and go elsewhere if it’s convenient, but also has every right to say “sorry, that just won’t work for me.” Doesn’t mean they can’t still have sex in the apartment, they just have to stay in A’s room (or wait until she’s away before doing it on the kitchen counter).
So, I’d say go stay somewhere else if you want to be nice and do your roommate a favor, but don’t feel bad if you’d rather just stay in your own home.
I would (reluctantly, because I find it odious) not moralize about the cheating at all, but not inconvenience myself to enable her and someone else’s husband.
Do you have any kind of overnight guest agreement with her? I strongly suggest you get one if you don’t.
It’s really about your personal preference. That would dictate how I handled such a situation. Going back in time to when I was younger, if I was in such a situation my response to the request would be based on basically whether I felt like granting my roommate a favor. If it was no big deal for me to find a place to stay (it’s a city with lots of friends who have no problem with someone crashing), and I didn’t particularly want to be at home those two days, or mind not being at home, sure I’d do it.
If I was tired/whatever and just looking forward to hanging out at my place for two days and really didn’t want to go somewhere else, I wouldn’t, period. I would be under no obligation to do anything I didn’t feel like doing.
I’d also be entirely reasonable to say, “I don’t really feel like crashing at a friends house, but I have no problem staying in a decent hotel for two nights, but you’ll have to pay for it plus give me some cash to buy food while I’m staying at the hotel.”