If you are tight with this room mate, such requests might be reciprocal. And if you had an easy place to visit that would work for you, I’d say it is reasonable. The burden is on the other room mate to facilitate the situation so it costs you nothing. If that involved setting you up in a hotel, that’s the price the room mate must pay. Everything is negotiable, but this is not something you should have to do at great inconvenience.
Bottom line: As a room mate, that is still your home and you should not feel compelled to leave. The decision should be yours alone without the other party being testy over it.
This. If they’ve been going to a hotel in the past to hook up, they should continue to go there. If he’s coming in from out of town, he should get a room, anyway. What was he expecting to do, crash at your place for two days and nights? Let him book a room, and let your roomie stay at the hotel with him. Without commenting on your roomie’s morals, or lack thereof, you have equal rights to the use and enjoyment of your apartment. Let her be the one to put herself out.
Are there two bedrooms? I don’t get it. How would it bother them for you to discreetly sleep in your own bedroom while they’re home? If they’re planning on inhabiting the whole apt living area, then you’d have to vacate during the daytime, but why can’t you sleep in your own room at night?
How much do you want $55? How convenient is it for you to crash somewhere else?
I wouldn’t do anything to accommodate them. It puts you in a difficult position. They guy can rent a room, if that’s what he wants. Or maybe ask his wife to move out for a couple of days…
Forget about the affair issue. Pretend it’s the roommate’s mother coming to stay for two days.
If they’re asking you to vacate your home for two days, they should be paying for your accomodations. They should be paying for you to stay at a nice hotel for two nights and paying for your meals.
Don’t be a pushover. Refuse the money. If it were me, I’d just tell them to have all the sex they want whether I’m in the apartment or not. It’s just sound…what’s the big deal? Hell, even if they left the bedroom (bathroom?) door open while they did it, it’s still not hard to ignore it…assuming you’d want to ignore it.
On second thought, why not ask to join in? [Seinfeld] Could be fun [/Seinfeld]
BUT it’s NOT her mom, it’s her paramour! I strongly disagree with someone being complicit in an affair! Give her the $ for a hotel, AND go to the lying bastard’s wife.
Why the eyeroll? You believe it’s OK to be complicit in an affair? REALLY! I can see you thinking she shouldn’t go to the wronged wife, but why is it OK to sanction an affair?
The OP isn’t sanctioning the anything. As I mentioned earlier. If the OP says “Nah, I think I’m going to stay here this weekend” it’s not that roomie is going to say “Oh, okay, well in that case, I’m gonna break it off and he’s going to stop cheating on his wife” They’re just going to go to a hotel instead.
Now, if roomie said “Hey, I met this married guy last night in a bar and told him he could come over tonight and have sex with me, but I need you to make yourself scarce” that might be a slightly different situation…but it’s not the case here.
I think adultery is wrong. But it’s not my business to throw myself into the middle of something that doesn’t involve me.
If you feel the need to seek out things to fix, there are bigger problems in the world than adultery. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or a free clinic.
I don’t think he’s trying to fix it, I think he’s just saying he perform any sort of overt action to facilitate it. Like refusing to pick up a bottle of wine for an alcoholic: you might know damn well they will just go get it themselves, but there is still something to be said for refusing to play a part, however minor.
I am not sure I feel like this would rise to the level of playing a part in an affair, but I can see how someone might feel that way.
Kids these days. Is this guy cheap or something? Is he afraid of his wife finding the credit card receipt?
What a wimp, he should at least buck up for a Drury inn or Pear Tree and have his own credit card account online which the wife doesn’t have access to.
If this dude can’t even manage or is unwilling to make an effort he’s a loser and not even worth a roll in the sack. YMMV.
Indeed. Adultery is wrong and in a just world should have bad consequences, but that doesn’t mean that you personally have to inconvenience yourself to enforce morality. (It would be extra-nice of you to, just as it would be extra-nice of you to donate your income to starving kids in Africa.) But there’s a difference between the pragmatic position and actually facilitating adultery for no particular benefit to yourself. They can get their own damn room. If the offer was $5,000, then we can talk.
Can I add my name to the list of people thinking “Why does anybody need to leave?” Do you share a bedroom? Are they planning on having sex in the living room the whole time? Or do you have a strict “no guest” policy?
If they want the OP to make herself scarce for the weekend, then they need to make it worth the OP’s while. Fifty five bucks isn’t going to get a couple of nights at a hotel, unless it’s a pretty sleazy hotel. And I don’t get why the OP has to leave the apartment, unless it’s one of those efficiency studios without any walls except around the bathroom.
The couple should either go to a hotel room, or pay enough for the OP to go to a hotel room AND have some spending money. I don’t see an upside for the OP in the original scenario.
Yeah, I think that the married man is wrong to cheat, and roomie is also wrong to cheat, but that’s not really any of the OP’s business.
[Seinfeld] Could be fun [/Seinfeld]