That boy wouldn’t hit a lick at a snake.
Always asselin’ around instead of doin’ something.
His get-up-and-go done got up and went.
I seen him layin’ up on the couch, checkin’ his eyelids for holes.
Well hell, he come by it right. His daddy was the same way.
I call them ruralisms more than Southernisms, because I’m from a Border state (and those in the true South know I don’t mean an external border) and I’ve heard most of them, but generally only in rural/farm areas. The ones I list are ones I’ve heard on numerous occasions, personally, so I can attest to their being used (and have in fact used some myself at various times):
(talking about something nifty, innovative, or just plain interesting) “That’s slicker than a puppy’s peter.”
A hard rain is a toad strangler. A loud, rolling clap of thunder is a tater wagon.
A person thoroughly caught up in an emotion or feeling is “plumb ate up with the __”, usually heard as “Plumb ate up with the crazy”, but other adjectives can and have been used.
A constant complainer, or someone who doesn’t seem appreciative of a gift or gesture “Would bitch about being hung with a gold rope” (substitute complain for bitch if said in polite company)
If something hasn’t occurred for a long time, or if something has been around forever, it’s been that way “since Hector was a pup.” For added emphasis, it’s “…since Hector was a pup, and he’s been gone a few years.” For example, “How long has that apple tree been there?” “Oh, I dunno, long as I remember, I reckon since Hector was a pup.”
I’ve heard the “hornier than a 2 peckered goat”, but I’ve also heard this variant, meaning extremely busy: “He’s busier’n a twelve peckered billygoat in the flock.”
There are several to express how profuse one’s perspiration is, though none of them are fit for mixed company, and one is down right inappropriate, but I’ll share them anyway: “I’m sweating more than a whore in confession.” “I’m sweating like a pig in church.” (never made sense, but that’s what I’ve heard) “I’m sweating worse than the only black man at a white woman’s funeral.”
(maybe not rural or even regional, but definitely from a different time) to express having a large quantity of something: “He’s got more ___ than Carter’s got liver pills.”
(also possibly not rural, but I’ve only ever heard it said by farm folk) to express someone having a large amount of percieved wealth “He’s richer’n Croesus.”
If someone is misbehaving in some way, they’re either “acting ill-afformed” or “showing their ass”
No kid growing up wants to be made to go “cut a hickory”.
Someone in a hurry is moving faster “than a turpentined cat.”
I’ll post more if I can think of them.
Oh yeah, that one too, except instead of ‘right’ I’ve always heard ‘naturally’.
Also if a child acts a lot like a parent, especially in a mischievous (not bad, just typical childhood mischief) way, “Well, now he’s/she’s reapin’ what his daddy/mama sowed”
I always heard “he come by it honest”.
If someone is working extremely hard/diligently, he/she is “all ass and elbows”, or, if a person/group is expected to work hard, then “all we better be seeing is asses and elbows.”
Keeping with the posterior theme, someone who takes a tumble has gone “ass over teakettle.”
You’re goin’ about it all bass-ackwards.
Son, your mouth is about to make your mama a grievin’ woman.
A whistling woman and a crowing hen, always come to some bad end.
She’s uglier than fartin’ in church.
I grew up on a farm in rural Alabama from the late 60s-mid 80s. About half of the people I grew up around were born in the late 19th or first decade of the 20th century, so most of these are very archaic, but I still like them.
Insult I’ve heard a lot when somebody starts singing a well known song- I’ll use Dolly Parton’s Jolene for an example:
Impromptu Singer (I.S.): Your beauty is beyond compare/with flaming locks of auburn hair…
Wiseguy: Who sang that song?
I.S.: Dolly Parton.
Wiseguy: Why don’t you let her?
Variant= Wiseguy: Dolly sang it, but what was that you were doing to it?
I’ve heard lots of these and I live in Kentucky. Some are very old-timey, but some are used quite frequently. I’ve heard the one about “since Hector was a pup” all my life, as well as kids being knee-high to a grasshopper, etc. Like someone mentioned upthread, this makes me realize how different we talk around here if these phrases are unfamiliar to others!
Something everyone here says is, “I’ll holler at ya” meaning I’ll call you or let you know something in the future. I’ve only recently wondered if this is a regional or Southern thing to say.
I myself have been saying it since God was a boy.
Uglier than homemade soap? Uglier than homemade sin? That’s one of my favorites.
Have you heard this one:
Person A: sings
Person B: “What’d you do with the money?”
Person A: “What money?”
Person B: “The money your mama gave you for singing lessons !!”
Or as my Gram said, since Christ lost his sandals. She was from coal country, PA and not the south though.
Yankee version:
PErson a: Sings
Person b: Do you know why Dolly Parton Sang that song?
Person a: No, why?
PErson b: So you wouldn’t have to! !
Person a: WHAP!!!