Actually, wasn’t there a “Ask the Pedophile” thread about a year ago?
As for actual threads that would be closed
-Goatse Photoshop contest.
-Fat Muslims treehuggers are so gay.
-Pictures of the moderators at a Nazi rally inside!
-I need help getting Kazaalite to work through my university’s firewall.
The Twin Towers were ugly, anyway
Isn’t Cecil just Ed Zotti’s sock?
How to abuse a federal security clearance
Dude! Where’s my ludes?
Big deal. The Twin Towers were ugly, anyway
So I was fondling the neighbor’s daughter… (TMI)
Just got my CD burner working. Copies of WindowsXP for sale, cheap!
-Hitler wasn’t so bad. Who’s with me?
-Where can I get the registration code for Adobe Photoshop?
-So last night I made love to my obese post-op transsexual hermaphrodite’s dead body (possibly TMI)
-Post your shoplifting tips
-ISLAM = Satan! here’s why…
Dude, you have really got to take some typing lessons.
Actually, I’m really starting to look forward to your posts because I know you’re going to screw them up somehow. 
I ate my dog last night (TMI)
Help me get this through airport security
Ask the Hitman
The more you try to not make mistakes, the more mistakes creep into your posts. I shall call this phenomenon… samarm’s rule. And it was so. Go forth and spread the word, people.
Did you know you have split your infinitive?
My favorite incest stories.
I’ve found a new use for dead puppies!
The penultimate son of the bride of the cousin’s sister-in-law of sequential thread titles, part IV, subsection 3, paragraph 19.
Ed Zotti’s American Express card number - $5
Where can I get some more Rohypnol?
Who’s up for a KKK Dopefest?
73|-| 1337 5|*34|< 7|-||^34|)!!!111!
Help me hack the car dealership’s wireless network!
My doctor is a moron, where can I get some narcotics?
Can I call the bodies in buried in my backyard a “family cemetary?”
Stuffed animal porn sites here!
Anyone know what size thong Ed Zotti wears?
Human Taxidermy for Beginners–Good Poses?
Frodo is so gay!
Best household cleaners to huff?
a
I found out what stinks so bad under the crib
Dead puppies free to good home (some with heads)
South Georgia Doperfest
So, like, I can’t find this thread I’m looking for about TMI
MILFs (Moderators you’d like to F… er… nevermind, they’d bounce it.)
If Hitler were alive, he’d be a moderator
Ask the scatopheliac
Who knew babies weren’t flame-retardant?
Need help inflating puppy – approach from front or rear?
Building machine to help me cannibalize myself (Tech Question)
Why did the moderator close my “Here is my fanpage of me rewriting War and Peace to make it a book about hot hot voyeur forced centipede sex with pics, dopers please critique?”
How much would a gigabyte of mp3s weigh on my iPod?
Ask the man who will die in fouoooooooiiiiiiikefjwfjijgh…
So, I found out human flesh DOES taste like chicken!
[insert moderator name] can suck my balls!
Bump this thread! (a thread whose sole purpose is to be bumped as often as possible so it can get a high reply count, a high view count and always remain at the top of the list)
MAKE MONEY FA$T!!!1
Why does a duck’s quack never echo?
Ask the white supremacist
I need some ideas on to destroy my asshat neighbor’s car! (Pit thread, of course)
Suggest some work-safe porn sites
Any tips on becoming a spammer?
Fuck you up your stupid asses, you fucking gaywad queers!
So I just got nmap …
Why all new C code should use gets()
AMAZING ANCIENT SECRETS MAKE YOUR NIGERIAN BANK ACCOUNT SO BIG IT SCARES PEOPLE
Paul Harvey said it, so it must be true!
How Saddam’s giant scorpions will oust the heathen Zionist Americans!
IS THIS WHAT U WANT?!?!