SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!
Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
Honey, you got real ugly.
Klaatu, Therata, cough, cough
You can say what you want, but when I say I’m going to kill you, there’s nothing you can do but die.
No more drugs for that man.
I’m Castor Troy!
Do not shoot at the nuclear weapons!
Give a man a gun and he’s superman. Give him two and he’s God.
Immigration. Section 6.
Your men are already dead.
Girl: And your beer tastes like piss.
Bartender: We know. We piss in it.
Are you a faithless preacher or a big, bad fucking servant of God?
My name’s Sex Machine, nice to meet you.
Come get some.
Hit him so hard his girlfriend dies.
I’m so scared… sniffle, sniffle
Cop: Move and you’re dead.
Draven: Well, I say, I’m dead. And I move.
Quick impression: Caw, caw, bang, fuck, I’m dead!
It can’t rain all the time.
A lot of my favorite movies have already been quoted, but two of the silliest and as a result most quotable haven’t been touched. Airplane and Caddyshack. Here’s a few…
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
There’s no reason to become alarmed and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way is there anybody on board who knows how to fly a plane?
I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.
Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish Prison?
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Judge Smalls: Ty, I’m no slouch you know.
Ty Webb: Don’t be so hard on yourself Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.
Hey baby, you must have been something before electricity.
Be the ball.
and last but not least…
So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “hey Lama, how about a little something for the effort, you know”. And he says, “oh, uh there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total conciousness.” So I got that going for me, which is nice.
One that should be instantly recognizable…
‘The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, the chalace with the palace holds the brew that is true!’
And two from the same movie that might require a bit more thought.
‘Someone’s got to take the responsibility if the job’s going to get done. Do you think that’s easy?’
‘Captain, I’m concerned about this vessel, it’s taking on water.’
‘Why does that concern you?’
‘I can’t swim.’
And lastly from another favorite…
‘EVERYTHING! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me and I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down. AND I HAVE DONE IT ALL FOR YOU! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn’t that generous?’
Have fun children. 
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.
Demented and sad, but social.
“Why the fuck do you people put mayonasse on hamburgers?”
Shampoo is better. I goes on first and make the hair clean!
Conditioner is better. I make the hair silky and smooth!
rahh! rahh!
Stop looking at me swan.
Nobody steps on a church in my town!
As you wish
“Just once I want to hear you scream” “Yeah? Play some rap music”
You are ten seconds away from the most embarrassing moment of your life.
Plenty of letters left in the alphabet.
“So you HAVE kissed a girl before?” “Never the right one”
I have a bad feeling about this…
You’re everything I never knew I wanted
and how could I forget:
“I came here to kick ass and chew gum… and I’m all out of gum.”
I’m not afraid to die: all men die. But not all men get to live.
I’m not left handed either.
“You’re a psycopath!” "No, no, no. Psychopath’s kill for no reason - I kill for money.
You know what I’m going to buy you for Xmas? A great big cross so everytime you feel unappreciated you can crawl up on it."
She’s good, Joe. She rates a three on my finger scale. That means I’d cut off three of my fingers if God would let me F#@% her.
“Sir, it is the private’s duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor that Private Pyie has a full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir!”
It’s not a great line, but it did shut up that asshole drill instructor for a good three seconds.
Originally posted by Frankd6
“Don’t give any blowjobs on the way out to the parking lot! Hey you, come back here!”
I know, I know…it’s the thought that counts, but if you’re going to do something, do it right.
“Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot! Hey! Get back here!”
Thanks. If I gaff one of these, do please let me know.
-Okay Faggot…what’s next? (also great is: “We are now armed with Mighty Joint!”)
-My mind is aglow with whirling transient nodes of thought carreening through a cosminc vapor of invention. (Ditto)
-Man, there ain’t no f**kin’ Thelma here! (possibly Arsinios best role)
-Let me offer you some advice: Always…never…forget to check you sources.
-You two are really amazing. I’m just like that with…I’m not even like that with anyone (also: “Bitches, man!” and “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen” possibly John Cussacks greatest role)
-Go that way really fast. If someting gets in your way, turn. (also: “This mountain is pure snow! Do you know what the street value of this is?!”)
-I can’t stand rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it."
It’s good to be the king.
I will not be ignored.
Everything was fine until the dickless wonder here turned off the power grid.
Is this true?
Yes, this man has no dick.
-Let’s not belabor the fact that you have no sense of timing. The fact is, you’re here. (also: “This is not champagne, it’s f**king Krystal.”)
-What smells like cat piss?
-I don’t tip. (also: “Oh sure, you’ve got a cool name. You wanna switch? No body is switching! You’re Mr. Pink and he’s Mr. Black.”
“Silly, they don’t like chocolates with cows and pigs in them, they like chocolates with people in them!”
(Hah! Let’s see anybody identify that movie! Hint: It’s British.)
“Klaatu…Barada…Nikto!”
“Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned? Well I haven’t. I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment that I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.”
annalnathrak uthusbethude dorthieldienvay
(pardon the spelling…perhaps not a notable quote, but one I can’t forget from Excalibur)
and in the theme of nonsense words…
“snootchie bootches!”
“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It’d be a pity to damage yours.”
"My contention is that prior to the revolutionary war, the market economies of the southern states, especially in Pennsylvania and Virginia, could most aptly be described as agrarian precapitalist . . . "
“I’m not sir. I only wish I was.”
“It’s the world’s first un-manned deskset flight.”
“I should have done this a long time ago.”