Most Ridiculous Thing to Stuff on a Yacht

So, today we were perusing the Largest Yachts on the Planet

The Platinum
The Rising Sun
The Octopus

These are private (personal) yachts. They really have things like:

basketball court
multiple helopads
swimming pool(s)
launches bigger than most people’s private boats.
Since these things are essentially parodies of themselves, we soon came up with other “must have items” to include on board:

[li]A football pitch[/li][li]A regional airport[/li][li]A full regiment of Gurkhas[/li][/ul]

So, what else should we add? What are the “must have” items on your Lifestyles of the Obnoxiously Wealthy yacht?

An SUV so you can drop the kids off at daycare up at the bow, then drive to your tennis class on the fantail.

Your own time zone.

Dark Matter-propulsion drive system.

A rain forest.

A self-sustaining ecosystem.


Cloning lab.

The Yankees Spring Training camp.

Your own internet suffix! www.octopus.boat

A lake to float your smaller boats in.

According to the NPR quiz show Wait wait, don’t tell me, the designers of the Octopus seriously suggested a torpedo. The owner (Paul Allen) turned it down.

These guys used to work for SMIRSH(sp?), didn’t they?

A flight deck.

Best possible answer. :: golf clap ::

A subway?

To carry your SUV from the bow to the stern, of course.

SMERSH…but that was a Russian counterintellegence and counterinsurrection bureau in Stalin’s day. They really existed and (even in the Bond novels) didn’t have all that great a collection of toys.

It was SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) that had all the neat underground lairs and cocooned hydrofoils disguised as a luxury yacht.

Allen probably has enough goodies on his boat to be a legitmate target for pirates, so it’s not totally an off the wall idea. I imagine that he does have security-trained crew and some pretty potent small arms.


A real working bathroom that doesn’t suck.

Your own time zone? Your own lake? Kid stuff. Although the idea of a yacht created expressly for the purpose of containing a body of water does win points for irony.

No, I want my yacht to be its own effing CONTINENT, complete with mountains, cities, suburbs, rivers, lakes, railways, roadways, airports, sports stadiums, industrial sectors, nature preserves, classified government laboratories, at least 3 time zones, forests, deserts, temperate zones, subtemperate zones, and (obviously) other yachts.

Anyone who doesn’t know what this uber yacht must be named gets a :smack: upside the head.

Three landing craft (LCACs, of course), and a company of Marines (for onshore “beer runs”).

The Playboy Mansion . . . in it’s entirety.

It’s own tugboat for pesky tight-spots.

The size of the thing is sheer nautical nonsense to me. . .

An extensive collection of steam-powered origami animals. :cool:

Sky TV, anyone?

A Grey Poupon Mustard processing plant

An amphitheater

A polo pony stable

A statue of Robin Leach

No yacht is complete until it can compete with Nile’s backyard monorail

A bowling alley

A blimp hangar

A 1920’s style death ray

A mighty Nordic hoard

A mountain range for said hoard to pour out from

An ancient empire to conquer

Plenty of wild animals to hunt

Fields for tilling

Villages to burn

Forests to cut down, and use for fuel and buiding materials

Seas and rivers to launch longboats in
Yeah, I think that about covers it.