GONE WITH THE WIND: Rhett don’t give a damn
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR: Jesus rocks; Judas swings
SNAKES ON A PLANE: Snakes! On a plane!
Back to the Future: Teen almost prevents own existence.
Back to the Future II: Teen sees future, flying cars.
Back to the Future III: Teen, mad scientist become cowboys.
BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE: Time travel in phone booth.
BILL AND TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY: Slackers get whacked, beat death.
KILL BILL: PART 1: Blonde on rampage with sword.
KILL BILL: PART 2: Mommy really pissed at Daddy.
LETHAL WEAPON: Too old for this shit.
LETHAL WEAPON 2: Cool cops rip on Pesci.
LETHAL WEAPON 3: Gibson and Russo compare scars.
LETHAL WEAPON 4: Why is Chris Rock here?
Twins Schwarzenegger and DeVito: they’re twins.
GONE WITH THE WIND: Atlanta burns, spoiled bitch whines
MEMENTO: mystery solving tries memory Faulty
Armageddon: Bruce Willis kills rock, dies
**Fight Club:**Tyler Durden kicks everyone’s ass.
Die Hard: Bruce Willis kills everyone, barefoot.
The Matrix: Nothing is real, Neo!
–FCOD
JAWS: In Massachusetts, fish eats you!
Gerry: Gerry and Gerry get Gerried.
Independance Day: Aliens need better firewall.
CUBE: We’re locked up. And confused.
DARK CITY: We’re confused and it’s dark.
PITCH BLACK: It’s very dark. We’re toast.
DANTE’S PEAK: We’re toast. Brosnan saves us.
ALIVE: We’re saved. And cannibals.
HANNIBAL: He’s a cannibal - Locked up.
This discussion reminded me of the Four Word Film Review site. Here’s the link -
http://www.fwfr.com/
Just to remind everyone that there’s a website for everything…
Muppet Christmas Carol: Funnier than the Dickens
Scrooged: Bill Murray plays Bill Murray
How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Mindless raping of source material
Scrooge, The Musical: Beautiful music for timeless story
Non-Christmas
Serenity: Really cool cowboys in space
King Kong: Beast dies for Beauty’s love
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Strange guy creeps everyone out
Generic testosterone overload movie with either Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude VanDamme, Bruce Lee, Stephen Segal, Ahnold, or other Hunk-of-the-month clone:
insertname takes names, kicks ass
Variations:
insertname takes names, loves, kicks ass
insertname takes names, regrets, kicks ass
insertname takes names, reflects, kicks ass
insertname takes names, jokes, kicks ass
We should do this with Limericks.
Blues Brothers: Strangely dressed musicians save orphanage
Speed: Keep bus moving or boom
Airplane: And don’t call me Shirley
Airplane: But that’s not important now
Erin Brockovich: Hal learns they’re called boobs
Independence Day: Mac connects alien mainframe? Suuurrre…
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: One lunatic, many Oompa-Loompas
Terminator 2: He’s back
Any Star Wars: Fanboys go gaga for this?
The Gone with the Wind ones make the baby Ghanima cry. How about “Movie doesn’t do book justice”?
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Con Woman Cons Con Men
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Saves the Dolphins
(alternatively: Sean Young Has a Dick.)
Blade Runner: Cyborg falls for Cyborg Killer
Alien: Monster bursts out of chest
Aliens: Aliens kick Colonial Marines’ Asses
Alien 3: Sigourney has a big problem…
Alien 4: This shouldn’t have been made - or - Someone please kill Winona Ryder
The Corruptor: Snitch cop fails to snitch
The Maltese Falcon: Bogie burns broad, bests baddies
I could do this all day!
The Bad Lieutenant: Jesus, Harvey, put it away!
Rocky Horror Picture Show: Screen’s expensive, actors are cheap.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Harry discovers he’s special.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: o/ Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Snaaaaaaaaaaaake! o/
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Sirius didn’t do it. Seriously.
Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menance: Jar-Jar should have died.
Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones: Jar-Jar brings Sidious to power.
Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith: Jar-Jar survives Vader, Padme doesn’t.
Hijack to make the obligatory anime references…
Trigun: Staunch pacifist cops out.
Dragon Ball Z: Next week, more grunting.
Slayers Next: That is a secret. 
Excel Saga: Today’s experiment…failed. (Or: Nabeshin vs. Rikudo. Or: F Prefecture, F City is F-ed. Or: Vader had nothing on Pedro. Or… :P)
Rurouni Kenshin: Short man carries backwards sword.
And, for the heck of it, some video games.
Final Fantasy 6: Wasn’t this called “Star Wars”…?
Final Fantasy 7: Kefka was a better villain. 
Final Fantasy 9: Dude looks like a lady.
Final Fantasy 10: Congratulations, you don’t exist!
Final Fantasy 10-2: Put some clothes on, Yuna!
Final Fantasy Tactics: Religion is bad, m’kay?
Fight Club: Don’t Talk About It.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Dickensian Mope Becomes Heroic Wizard.
Dr. Strangelove: General’s Orgasm Leads to Apocalypse.
Dune (David Lynch version): Just Read the Book Instead.
Interview With A Vampire: Tom Cruise Sucks Brad Pitt.
Zatoichi: Blind Samurai’s Tap-dancing Revenge
Suicide Club: Thump Thump Thump Thump Ick.
RinguSadako’s Seven-Day Video Revenge
Some Shakespeare movies:
Hamlet: Ghost tells son: avenge me!
Macbeth: Witches spur thane to regicide.
As You Like It: Cross-dressing woman finds love.
Twelfth Night: See “As You Like It”
Romeo and Juliet: Star-crossed lovers take their lives.
Henry V: Former wastrel king conquers France.
Midsummer Night’s Dream: Fairies and fools in forest.
Merchant of Venice: Moneylender doesn’t get his pound.
Othello: Moor loves unwisely.