Just read in the business pages that “Movieline” is desperately seeking a buyer! Hachette Filipacchi said “no thanks,” and “Movieline” is expected to lose $2.8 million this year—all because I resigned, no doubt!
By the way . . . All you guys who so nobly came to my defense and said you’d write letters of complaint that I was no longer in “Movieline . . .” Y’all DID actually write and send those letters, yes?
Alright corporate disaster! That oughta teach 'em. Congrats, Eve, you’ve got a right to feel vindicated. 
Well I sure did, and I just bet that my letter alone sent the stock price down two points.
My letter is also notable in that it is the first example in recorded history of the phrase “excremental lapse of judgement” being used twice in the same paragraph.
It couldn’t happen to a nicer magazine. Here’s hoping they crash and burn.
Eve, you must feel so flushed with triumph…
Without you, they’re nothing. I bet your ex-comerades are sitting at their desks, head in hands, bemoaning the day that you left.
“Without me, you’re nothing!” I like that. I can see showing up at their offices, dressed like Lana Turner, and declaiming that with great dramatic flourish.
“Premiere” has a new editor and—despite the fact that they’re in dire financial straits, too—I sent them some of my better “Movieline” work and asked for a job.
Jeez—the Republicans aren’t even in office yet, and the economy’s goin’ down the terlet . . . I have three friends who’ve lost their jobs in the past couple of weeks . . .
Well, Eve, the White House at least thinks you can take all the credit for this one.
Over the weekend, Dick Cheney mentioned that he saw signs of recession. Here was the White House Response:
“We understand that Mr. Cheney has a lot of hands-on experience in big-time economic downturns,” said White House spokesman Jake Siewert, referring to Cheney’s tenure in the recession-plagued Bush and Ford administrations. “But I don’t think that makes him qualified to assess the current state of our economy.”
Zzzzzap!
Eve and Premiere
…now that would be cool! (I hope the stuff you submitted were compositions you wrote before the editorial hatchet jobs.)
btw, yes, I did mail in a letter…I guess as I get older, I find that I get much more amusement being a cranky bastard than I used to…
[JimCroce]“You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Eve!”[/JimCroce]
The text of my letter to Virginia Campbell:
Madam:
I have just seen the December/January issue of Movieline magazine. As is my custom, the first thing I intended to read was Eve Golden’s column The Bottom Shelf. However, as I’m sure you are aware, Ms Golden’s column was absent from this issue. When I looked further, I saw her name had also been removed from the masthead, which I felt indicated that this might not be a temporary absense.
I hope I am mistaken and The Bottom Shelf will return as a regular feature in the next issue. I have always enjoyed Ms Golden’s work both in Movieline and in her books and I feel her absense would be a loss to your magazine.
I still don’t understand why the US can’t piece together a fan movie magazine (as opposed to more “intellectual” publications like Film Comment or Sight and Sound) like Empire and Total Film from the UK.
More interviews, more reviews, more quirky columns, more diverse coverage of different films (both domestic and international). This would be an ideal platform for Eve’s unique skills/strengths, but somehow Americans have to settle for two flaming mediocrities when it comes to “pop” coverage of the film scene.
As for Movieline, R.I.P. I’ll miss (in addition to our illustrious OPer) Joe Queenan and David Thomson, but that’s about it.
i gotta agree with that sentiment. America seems to want to arse-kiss the movie makers, instead of being entertaining in their own right, and being properly critical.
I’ve never read Movieline, I dunno if it even comes out here, but I have read Premiere, and Empire magazine blows it outta the water. Just in the more realistically entertaining way it approaches films.
Thank you all, who wrote in! I will let you know if I hear back from “Premiere.”
Don’t get me started on the state of magazines in this country—I am especially depressed, as I am reading a bio of Alexander Woollcott, and I recently read a book about the “smart magazines” of the 1910s–30s. Way back when, magazines (and book publishers) were run by people who cared about writing, and they encouraged their writers to develop individual, quirky styles.
Now, it’s “Oh, that’s not exactly like everything else on the newsstand—we might confuse a reader or offend an advertiser!” and everything gets run through the hopper to sound like every other goddam boring magazine out there.
So it looks as if we need a millionaire doper to bankroll said smart magazine… tell ya what - if I hit Lotto, I’ll do it! Goodness knows, I’ve given up on the tripe that passes for magazines…
The sad thing is that both Movieline and Premiere started out as good magazines. Movieline used to be genuinely funny and wasn’t afraid to ridicule a bad movie or performer. Premiere used to aim itself at readers who were interested in information about movie-making as opposed to celebrity gossip. But at some point, the editors of both magazines decided to become clones of Entertainment Weekly. My response has been to subscribe to Entertainment Weekly and stop reading Movieline and Premiere.