I often check people’s “away messages” on my AIM. Mostly because I’m bored out of my gourd, but because sometimes they leave funny messages. I don’t think I’ve ever used the standard “I’m away from my computer.” or “I’m playing a game right now.”
So, what kind of “away” messages do you use? Here are my standard “away” messages.
"Hi. I’m out doing evil things and corrupting small children. Leave a message!"
"I’m covered in cornstarch and riboflavin right at the moment. What do you want?" - for when I’m actually working.
"I’m either at the main hospital, outside buying coffee, or creating havoc in another pharmacy. Leave a message!" - For when I’m actually out of my office.
"Thank you for calling. No one is here at the moment. Leave a message after the beep. <BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!>"
"Ack! The boss lady is here! Run for your lives!"
"5 midgets spanking a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that your idea of love? - South Park, 11/13/02" - For bizarre effect.
"Amok. Amok amok amok!"
"Boogers. It’s what’s for dinner!" - Just to see what kind of responses I get.
I have used: I’m ignoring you! Busy crashing computers for fun and profit. Back soon. In a menage a trois with a vertically challenged sideshow freak and the snake man. Go away. I mean, I’m Away. Yeah. That’s it.
Kinda boring, but hey, I ain’t a font of thrills and chills.
Back when I actually used an instant messenger program, mine said, “I’m busy writing my opera about the Human Genome Project.” An old friend of mine found me on ICQ and asked, “Are you really writing an opera?”
I told him I was flattered that he thought there was a chance I might be, but no.
Go cyber elsewhere.
On Explorer. Maybe I’ll get back to you maybe I won’t.
Find me at Yahoo
For my Yahoo IM I have
Go cyber elsewhere. (yes I like this one)
I’m in (Inset chosen chat room here)
[Rhetorical Inquiery]If the point behind having IM is so that folks can get to you quickly, dosn’t the away message rather defeat the purpose? [/Rhertorical Inquiery]
For when I’m at class: At class. You know, that thing that my parents pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for me to attend.
For when I’m at work: Earning some money – and not even on the street corner today!
For when I’m depressed: “This is so depressing, my only hope is this homemade Prozac. Mmm, needs more ice cream.”
– Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”
It’s just one of those days…
For when I’m out at some unspecified place: Oot and aboot… and apparently pretending to be Canadian.
I don’t think the point is necessarily always so that people can reach you quickly. I leave my AIM on almost all the time, day and night (cable connection), and it serves as sort of a halfway email device. People can leave me short messages without having to hassle with email. Almost everyone I know has AIM.
At night my away message is “I think I’m asleep.”
During the day it varies. I have a couple dozen saved, several of which are in my regular rotation. Usually they’re song lyrics or quotes that have piqued my interest lately. The one I’ve been using most recently is a quote from Yao Ming (the basketball player) saying something like “Sometimes the hardest challenges are easier than the more difficult ones” or something along those lines.
Fighting the Scum of the Universe while you go on with your naive lives…
At what time does it no longer become a full night’s sleep?
Cinderelli - Cinderelli - Patricelli - Patricelli - It’s all the same.
I’m currently in a relationship with a lovely girl named Eureka, and her eyes are only for me as I listen to her whisper in my ear. Inspiration is perhaps the greatest feeling in the world.
Latin: Somno
English: I am sleeping
Latin: Noli Perturbare
English: Do not disturb
Latin: Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
English: I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Latin: Obesa cantavit
English: The fat lady has sung
—This message brought to you by the letter R - ronincyberpunk.com—
I’ve immersed myself in reading. I may be sitting at my computer listening to music as I read - but I won’t be watching the screen.
Riddle me this; I’m here yet I’m not. I’m there but not. Where am I?
Fighting the scum of the universe through good personal hygiene! - I’m in the shower. `Nuff said.
Alas, class. Interplanetary gas? Venetian glass! Pass brass… last class!
Back when I used to have ICQ on the old home computer (literally old), I used to have this one up:
I’m very busy building a time machine out of nothing but matchheads, bits of plywood, and rubber bands…so buzz me later! (then I decided to use it for my AIM away message when I got AIM a while later… I love the Spoz-inspired ones! :D)
Others I have used:
I’m doing mindless work now, so go away! I’m seriously away, so bug me later! Doing multiple(s) projects now… bye bye, everyone! I’m working on multiple projects right now… so you’ll just have to put your plans to talk to me on hold! See ya! I’m listening to Alan Cross right now… mmm, new rock history… That, or I’m watching ER… mmm… ER… Buying my cake and eating it too!
A few of mine are just lyrics to songs that strike an apropriate mood with me, but mostly my away messages have some kind of silliness followed by what’s really going on…
“Help! Help! A dingo ate my baby! Not really. I’m out with friends right now.”
“The flesh eating demons must have ding dongs NOW or else the crop circles will continue! Sam(antha)'s telling me a bedtime story right now, so don’t mind me. I wanna pay attention.” [sub] My friend Sam(antha) likes to tell really cool bedtime stories, and it’s always a great treat. Damn, I should’ve asked for one last night.[/sub]
"I’m cooking in the kitchen right now. Be afraid; be very, very afraid.
“**Q: What does a gay horse eat? A:Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!**I’m at an LGBTSU meeting right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you on it.”
“I’m out at Yoga class 'cause you know I really need the added flexibility. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. ttyl, chill’uns!”
The rest of them are pretty mundane and to the point, so I didn’t post them.
That, or I’m watching ER… mmm… ER…