but without his balls
can he even come at all?
(not to be vulgar…)
log floats on river
waterfall flows it off not
where’s the damn T.P.?*
true pastime for all
wasting time, making a mess
'net pornography
well, the haiku pedantry of four months ago has finally worn off me.
Dateline is on now
I should have rented movies
I punish myself
The carpet is stained
My old roommate is an ass
Cleaning costs money
Just ate at Wendy’s
Mmm…good chicken sandwiches
Just plain, with some cheese…
home from work, tired
think I’ll just sit for a while
oops, three hour nap
what is for dinner?
I think I’ll invite some guests
hi, Ben and Jerry
dark and stormy night
I am now out of practice
so I write poorly
the best commercials
you never saw, my (fat) ass
as always, they suck
use the V C R
I just have to watch E R
Mark Green’s gonna die
Milton and Dudley
are in comedy heaven
matching joke for joke
shampoo, rinse, repeat
does anyone repeat, or
is that out of vogue?
sheets on the mattress
never stay put long enough
this makes me so sad
Q. Tarantino
whatcha doin’ now these days
get your ass to work
Tomcat is still pissed
Hairballs didn’t do the trick
Gonad-thief’s fern dies!
saturday morning
too many beers at gold star
my head, it hurts so
fevered baby sleeps
after night spent crying out
but no rest for me
dishes stacking up
floors swept, pets fed, dusting calls
quick! before he wakes
easter sunday nears
yet still haven’t bought new clothes
shopping drains me so…
Haikus, college admissions style
Georgetown rejects me
Only one option right now
Go on a bender
Waitlisted at two
GW is one
I’m smarter than them
Pomona not yet
Still is nothing in the mail
Tell me already
In Macalester
They want me to go badly
But St. Paul is cold
Also in Brandeis
I’d fit in pretty damn well
Because i’m Jewish
In American
Gave me a full scholarship
Looking good right now
UMich waitlisted
I thought I’d get rejected
So go Wolverines!
Tough decision now
Where should I go spend four years?
Board alums, help me
Not an sig per se
I’m Big Kahuna Burger
A crappy haiku
Darn my family!
I must not bow to pressure…
Yay! Sanity saved!
Radio music
Is there anything better?
Maybe I’ll watch TV
Got disconnected
Is my mother calling me?
It’s my friend, thank Og!
Hey, this is easy!
I’m getting the hang of it!
What literature!
my advice to Witch
avoid visit from PETA
cease eating your cats
Oh, and 
'Tis Saturday eve
Had a dinner date, but now,
Think I’ve been stood up.
Ah wisest novel
You also have a wise mouth
Witchie likes your style.
Cleaned for my parents
I need a break from them both
thats what my shrink says.
Furniture guy speaks
in the language of Moors-
“como se dice?”
Husband has posted
Under my used I.D.,
He did not tell you.
Husband has posted
Under my used I.D.,
He did not tell you.
seawitch and mister
struggle for keyboard control
double posts result
He didn’t tell us
but we get the message hun
you posted it twice 
Georgetown hates me too,
They can all kiss my ass now,
But I’m not bitter.
American U.
Sends me offers of money
Maybe I’ll go there?
Dear, sweet Northwestern
I want to go so badly
But still, no mail yet.
College is no fun,
When you’re trying to get in.
I should just stay home.
ResIpsaLoquitor said…
**
Res watches SeaLab
A better show can’t be found
I laugh at Stormy.
I’m bored, bored, bored, bored,
so bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored,
so bored, bored, bored, bored.
I’m repetitive,
So very repetitive,
Repeat after me.
I’m so creative,
I’m a friggin’ genius,
or possibly not.