My apologies to everyone for 3-11-2015

I have been avoiding this wonderful place and all of its wonderful folks that hangout around here due to a most embarrassing case of confusion and stupidity on my part.

That day, 3/11/'15, I was extremely tired from lack of sleep but thought I’d drop into this section of the site to see what was going on. Well, I saw something pertaining to the question of whether or not God existed. (I “think” that was what the subject was about but I’m not 100% sure, because at the moment I’m as sleep-starved now as I was then and, too, I haven’t gone back to reread any of those comments as THAT would be too painful.)

So I decided to join the conversation … and before I knew it, things began to get a little out of hand. I somehow became locked into some type of a strange trance that had me in a frame of mind that’s hard to explain, and while folks were taking me to task on some of my statements … and so I guess I sorta took issue about being challenged on the validity of my comments relating to some of the mystical experiences I’ve had during my life. And where it really got crazy was when they kept (nicely) informing me that this was a Debate Thread and that my insistence of basically saying “I’m just giving my account of things and not trying to make anyone believe me” wasn’t acceptable, that I wasn’t getting a pass to duck their questions.

Anyway, we went back and forth for a fair amount of time before the Mod stepped in and jarred me out of the twilight zone that had engulfed me by proceeding to let me know in no uncertain terms that my “challengers” were absolutely in the right and that I wasn’t and that I had better knock it off!

Also, I recall that one of the things I’d done that had really ticked off the Mod was that I was kinda talking down to some of the folks by saying something like, “your tone is insincere and you must set your ego to the side blah blah” and so I would simply like to offer that while I certainly feel like a douche for having done that, I do have a slight excuse.

My excuse is this: I listen to a fair amount of political/social radio and it so happened one day that a light bulb went off in my head while listening to some folks go back and forth with each other over some subject that I don’t recall. They were being sarcastic with each other and indulging in what I took to be a battle of wits, rather than sincerely seeking some common ground and being more like people of good will.

After that I zeroed in on other talk shows and noticed the same thing … and figured that one day I shall attempt to do some reasoning with someone in which I’ll insist that a sincere tone be kept in whatever discourse might be going on. And needless to say, when I gave it my best shot (in here) it went over like a wet fart. There was no way to achieve what I was hoping for in that regard without coming off as extremely arrogant. So sorry about that, my intentions were good.

After the spanking from the Mod, I quickly got out of the apartment and took a walk (as sleep wouldn’t have been possible) and thought long and hard about what I’d done.

Embarrassment is too weak of a word.

Since then, my tattered ego has been healing and things are slowly starting to get a little better; and hopefully, with this apology, the nagging feeling of something rotten(er) coming down the pike to pay me a karmic visit will evaporate and be gone.

I am grateful that the Mod was restrained and didn’t beat the ever-loving daylights out of me more than s/he did, as I certainly had it coming! And as far as those wonderful debaters that were participating with me on that most awful day goes, as I was in the clutches of that terrible thing that had hijacked my mind for those 30-minutes, all I can say is that I’m sorry for subjecting you to such unpleasant lunacy and that I’m thankful that you were merciful towards me to the degree that you were.

I would like to write the whole nightmarish thing off to a “senior moment” but to try and do that would be tantamount to offering a watered down apology and pretending that it’s kosher, so I won’t. All of you were in the right and I was way in the wrong.

I’ll do my level best to see that it doesn’t happen again. Thanks Much for your time and understanding, and keep plugging along!:slight_smile:

P.S. I hope it’s okay that I post this here, at the scene of the crime, as I’ve also had problems in trying to figure out exactly where I’m supposed to post my comments.

Let me just move that over to MPSIMS for you.

There are a lot of us who at some time or another have felt they embarrassed themselves too much to ever show their faces again. I’ve done it and stayed gone for a while. On the rare occasion I’ve tried to make an apology. Sometimes it was an obvious drunk drive-by. A few times I forced myself to glance through the Pit first to see if I was getting flamed. Then it finally dawned on me—nobody cared enough about anything I had to say to (usually) even address it, and I’ve felt a lot more comfortable ever since.

If you’re really an asshole you won’t be able to hide it for long, but you’ve made the effort to post an apology and…there’s kind of a learning curve here. We stick our foot in our mouths, we try to be funny and aren’t, we get on our soapboxes until we realize we’re reacting emotionally instead of reaching for facts. We change a little, sometimes say basically the same things but in a different way. As they say…read a little more, say a little less. If your heart’s in the right place and you really do like to learn, this is the place to be. Posters get used to each other’s style and it usually all works out.

“Wisdom is the booby prize, they give you when you’ve been unwise!”

Don’t sweat it. Really. I promise you, there is not a person walking this earth who has not wished they could take back things they said. Things they said in anger, in heated discussion, out of passion, righteousness and good intent. Every person knows exactly how you feel because we have all misspoken in our time.

The depth of your embarrassment, open regret and ownership, in these events speaks louder of who you are then the words you regret, I think.

I also think that if any of your friends or loved ones came to you, with such words of regret over an interaction, you’d find it in your heart to forgive them. Hoping you can find some forgiveness for yourself! Best wishes!

You know, with the direction technology is moving, within our lifetime it will be possible to review pretty much everything anyone has ever said or done. Our entire character, beliefs and morals will be laid bare before the entire world. It will not be possible to hide that you are an asshole, but at the same time, we will all be made stunningly aware that everyone on the face of the Earth is an asshole.

Then we as a species will be forced to confront our own natures and decide whether or not to change ourselves, destroy everyone around us for not being good enough, or to learn that maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on our selves and each other.

No problemo. I’ve often joked that I’ve had my foot in my mouth enough times to develop Athlete’s Tongue; I’ve just been lucky enough not to do it too much here. I would consider reading Great Debates some more before posting there. That, like the Pit, can be a very different world from what it appears at a distance.

You made it 2 1/2 months before doing that. I doubt I’ve made it through a week. I feel like a slacker next to some Dopers who manage to do it in every post.

You aren’t a real doper until you have had the experience of reading a thread, finding a particular post unbearably obnoxious - and only then realizing it’s a zombie thread and the post was written by you, five years ago. :smiley:

Dibbs,please go take a long nap… You’ll feel a lot better.
There’s not a day that I don’t regret something I said/did… A lot of it is from 50/60 odd years ago and the other person is dead a very long time ago… no use stewing over it,but I do.

Definitely. I’ve closed old threads because I’ve cringed so hard about what I said. I don’t want to read the inevitable smackdown I got that I so richly deserved.

Thanks, Jonathan!

Thanks for that, Becky2844! I especially think this should help me a lot (if I can remember it): As they say…read a little more, say a little less.

Thanks Much for your Wise and encouraging words, elbows! I try to live by the Golden Rule as much as I can, but my brain at 60 I find must be getting brittle or something, along with being a chronic insomniac, because I still find it hard to believe that I went into that embarrassing free-fall the way I did.

I think you’re on to something there, Chimera. Recently I saw a comment somewhere that someone had said that one of the big Internet people, a smart tech guy that helped create the thing, said early in its development something to the effect that “people are going to rush to city hall and have their names changed…” for the very reason you point out. Kinda scary, Methinks!

Thanks for the sound advice, kopek. I don’t want to keep sounding like a crybaby about it but my biggest problem with respect to making mental mistakes has everything to do with my insomnia. Not long ago a Harvard study came out and basically said that it had been discovered that as people age, there’s some type of little nub in the brain that works as a switch so that a person can fall asleep but as time goes by it wears down to nothing. When I read that I intuitively knew there’s no doubt that that’s what’s been going on in my case (although I’ve in fact always had a tough time getting to sleep, and a “weak” bladder hasn’t helped matters).

TriPolar – it’s heartening to know that I ain’t the only one. The understanding of you folks has been nice too.:slight_smile:

I appreciate you saying that, Malthus. I guess it proves that we grow in our thinking in this ever-changing world.

Lorene89095 – I just can’t get the brain to turn off. I was in here early this morning and there were 9 responses and I thought I’d take your advice and return later after some sleep but it never went the way I wanted and so now I’m in here with something of a second wind (I think) and things aren’t going too badly. I get what you mean about bad memories from long ago. I still have a fair share of serious regrets and flashbacks about a lot of things from 50-plus-years ago. And if I ever hit the lottery for a billion dollars I’ll for sure head out the door and down the road and pile some dough into a lot of people’s pockets, as long as they’re still above ground.

BigT – I’m sorry to hear about the smack-down you got, but I’d bet anything that it wasn’t as bad or as well deserved as the one that Tom-Debb(?) laid on me! I’ll have to look into the means of closing-out old threads sometime down the road … when my dried-up cork of a brain decides to stop torturing me and replenish the situation with some dream time.

Have you ever tried changing usernames?