From this thread, it sounds like our hero has already told someone it was a joke.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131138
It’s nice to see how quickly you guys can ferret out the bullshitters. And how quickly the mods take care of them.
I admit…I’ve wandered over the other boards, trying to find the same diversity and dedication to moderating the board that I find here…I keep coming back.
Hi, my name is Ivylass. I’m a Straight Dope addict.
I cried because I had no cat, until I met a man whose cat had no penis.
The guy IMed me relentlessly while I was not around, accused me of hating him for not responding, and eventually when I got back, proceeded to talk to me for a long time. I read the relevant threads and decided to play his game.
I asked him what her name was, and where it happened… he complained that he was banned, and I told him that if he could prove it was true and write an email to TubaDiva they might un-ban him. I then told him that I would help him clear his name and prove that he was telling the truth. I looked up the police department in the town where the bridge was and actually called them but they were closed. I told him that I was calling them and he said “don’t… it doesn’t matter, I’m already banned” and I continued with the clearing his name thing.
Then he told me that he’d told the police and news not to reveal anything “for personal reasons”. But I reassured him that deaths are a matter of public record and that by law they couldn’t refuse to give that info.
This sort of thing went on for a while and then he confessed that it was all a joke. I lectured him a bit about the way our community works, about the actual deaths and losses that we’ve dealt with, and linked him to Wally’s memorial page.
He said he was really sorry, that he felt like total crap, etc. He seemed sincere. I suggested that he write an apology to TubaDiva. I told him I doubted they’d unban him but that it was the decent thing to do. He said he would.
As long as we don’t have to be dedicated to moderation. That would suck.
That’s 75% of the reason I like these boards: no morons (or a distinct lack thereof).
Agreeing with waterwj that as long as we didn’t overdo the moderation to the point of leaning into censorship, I believe the Dopers themselves provide the best moderation of all - calling out the bullshit.
Tripler
Hi, I’m Tripler, and I’m running for President.
Whoa, sorry, make that: waterj2.
Tripler
Damn preview
I was just talking about moderation in general. I’m all in favor of excess. But I agree with the sentiment you thought I was expressing nonetheless.
I can name you a few.
Don’t spend another minute grieving over your catlessness, Buck - I can fill that cat-less void in your life immediately, AND at ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE! Just drop by and point out which one of the dozen or so rescued kitties running around here you find appealing. As a matter of fact, for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE you may choose SEVERAL cats to compensate for your years of suffering a pussy-less life! DON’T MISS THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO ENRICH YOUR LIFE!
Oh, and I don’t see what is so sad about a penis-less cat - normally those are called ‘females’. 
they say you get a profile out of a name, why de call himself KOKO801801801801810? Why’d he get banned?
He’s and attention seeker-Just like me!!
But went too far.
I can make your cat penis so big it hurts. Just like the email says.
I cried because a cat ran away with my penis in its mouth.
“I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again.”
:eek:
You’re not allowed to play with my cat.
I have to tell you…I got laid ten minutes ago and the first thing I thought of was letting all of you know. Sniff. I think I’m going to go order pizza now. 
You waited a whole ten minutes to let us know?! Why, you should have been dragging yourself straight from the…erm, “moment of truth” to the keyboard! Shame on you! Don’t you want us to be your friends?
I’m sorry. I didn’t explain myself properly. What I meant to say was we had started 10 minutes before. We’d finished 1 …let’s see. foreplay, 4 minutes, then 5 more…yeah. We’d finished 1 minute before.
[Jack Dean Tyler]
So…cats, eh?
[/Jack Dean Tyler]
sure, but can your cat make $1000 per sale?
GUARENTEED?
my cat just died…it was another tragic case of death by flung…