OhFerChristSakes. You can tell I haven’t had any for a while. I read that as “I got laid off ten minutes ago”.:smack:
Well??? What happened? Did you order the pizza? From where? What kind was it?? How long did it take to get there? Was it good? Did you order drinks or breadsticks along with it??? We need to know this stuff, DAMMIT!! Don’t leave us hanging!
Oh jeez. I haven’t LOLed so much in a while as I have at this thread and the threads it references. I’m C&Ping them into my “SD Wit” document, along with the drawstring-pants rant and BronzeLion’s condemnation of “doctors” and the businesswomen they service.
Opal, good job! Did he by any chance say why he did this; why he thought it would be funny? I’m thinking a high-school kid, with a sense of humor from the heyday of National Lampoon (the magazine, not movies). He kept it up good, too. And :::Rilchiam looks around furtively::: it was humorous…kind of a performance-humor.
Seriously. Originally, I thought Koko was simply disgusting. I was particularly disturbed by this sentence in the OP: “I’ve thought of killing my self but i know that won’t solve anything.” Suicide is no joke, I thought, and its an affront to people who have been clinically depressed to suggest that someone might contemplate suicide, then reject the idea, in the span of three minutes.
But as I read on, and my laughter built to a crescendo, I realized that Koko could not possibly have expected to get away with this. It’s not a carefully crafted ‘work’ (in the wrestling sense) like Skewbald’s courtship of PajamaGirl. It’s not the least bit plausible, unlike the bogus stories about dying loved ones that have been posted here (LitlTassie and I forget the other one…the one who said her SO – also a Doper – had sustained a concussion in a car accident and woke up inquiring after his favorite team). It didn’t seem like a persona; more like he was doing an improv comedy sketch.
Not that I think he should have been banned. But I just wanted to say that I’m proud to be in such company! Your extemporizing blew him out of the water! He probably wouldn’t come back even if he could.
Oh, no! My girlfriend is in the kitchen dying right now! Oh, shit! Should I go take the plastic bag off her head now, or should I finish posting first?
Oops. Too late.
I’m over it now.
Speaking of pizza, what does the pizza delivery guy have in common with a gynecologist?
]
That’s exactly what I thought. This guy planned his efforts. If it wasn’t for his obviously genuine correspondence with Opal I was starting to think it was the sock of someone here having a bit of a stir.
I’m almost disappointed that it isn’t…
Erm… they’re both at yer cervix?
They both spend the day looking at stuff they want to eat, but can’t?
Their fionces died?
They both make women spread their legs? (think porno movies: “Hey lady! Here’s your pizza, and HERE’S the pepperoni!” ZIIIIP!)
They’re both named “Henri”? (Salvador Dali would get this one…)
OK… I’m out of guesses…
Foreplay? Whazzat? 
They both spit on your food if you don’t tip? [sub]No, that can’t be it…[/sub]
Same person, BTW.
Oh. Well, then, who was the one who said her kid was dying? (Her house of cards fell apart when other Dopers who’d had ill children pointed out that a parent in that situation did not flit back and forth from hospital to home at the rate she claimed.)
“Brace yourself, Bridget!”
I think you got the right idea about what foreplay is.
That was LittleTassie. That was around the time I joined the boards. I doubted her story from day one but I stayed out of it. I had a nephew die of cancer - my sister was lucky to get home to take a shower, much less post on a message board updates of his condition.
Little Tassie was one of several socks for someone who doesn’t deserve to be named.
You guys are cruel.
Kokoko has had a lousy break. He’s going through a bad stretch right now, and he could snap.
Sometimes you just have to cut the cord and move on, though. I, for one, am glad to see him already bounce back.
[sub](Sorry. But how many times in one’s life does one get an opportunity to go for bungee-cord death humor?!)[/sub]
I dunno, but I gotta terrible feelin dat da word “pie” shows up in da punchline.
I once met 2 guys on a bridge. the were carrying a large birdcage full of birds.
The first guy opened the cage, put a bird under each arm and jumped off. the second guy took a chicken from the cage and jumped off.
Both fell to their death.
Moral of the story?
Its not safe to go Budgie jumping. Or Hen-gliding.
[Elaine]Maybe the dingo ate your baby[/Elaine]
We’ve met before, haven’t we?
I think he meant Intercourse, PA.