Thank you, Denise, Zoe, SCSimmons, dreamer, cherry, and White Lightning. Another great thing about this place and others like it is that no matter what one has gone through in life, the chances that others have done the same are excellent. I certainly didn’t begin this thread just to see who else had been down this road, but it’s nice to know I am not alone. Which, of course, one never really is on here.
Zyada, I always wondered about that. As I was taking it, I didn’t know what the result would be, but I figured a lot of anything couldn’t be good.
It’s very nice to see people posting in here with whom I have not interacted much at all; that says a lot about them, I think.
Aw, ((((((Cristi))))). And you’re one of my favorite people on here, for sure. No, scratch that, favorite anywhere. Thank you.
It’s not too surprising, as I said, that others on here have been through this before. And perhaps this thread will encourage other people to face up to their own decisions, whether they were long ago or recent. (That is, assuming they need to face up to anything; perhaps they have already reconciled.)
Anyway, Cristi, of course your opinion matters. It matters very much.
Wow, thanks, Cheri. Coming from you, those are quite the compliments.
I agree with your position on suicide. It’s a very personal decision, and perspectives will vary tremendously from person to person, but for my money it’s just the wrong way to go. One reason we consider it, though, is that it represents the unknown. I remember wondering what would happen. Was there something beyond death?
One factor that virtually ensures that I’ll never even consider this again is that there are so many other people suffering through far worse lives than I could even imagine, and somehow they pull through - they don’t choose that path. If they can do it, then by God, so I will. For me, it’s selfish to the extreme to assume that my problems are insurmountable when other, worse problems surely are not.
Ah, okay. Completely understood:) (hey, it’s not like I have a mental checklist consisting of “suicidal years? Check. Family history as it related to pedophilia, child abuse, alcoholism and associated psychological problems? Check. Double lives? Check. Okay, I can yawn go to bed now.”:))
You guys are failures. Utter and absolute failures. At suicide, that is, and I’m profoundly grateful. If there is one thing in life to screw up, it’s a suicide attempt. You chose the right thing to louse up. From what I’ve seen of those of you who have confessed attempts, you’re not a failure in any other way.
In 1973, I tried to drive my car into a river to kill myself. I got stuck in the mud instead. By the time I got the car out (3 hours later!) I just went home to bed. Never felt that bad again.
dan, It’s a good thing you didn’t succeed - else you’d have never gotten to know me!
And I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you - both here and chatting on IM. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you before, but you’re on my list of folks I want to meet. I owe you a real-life big hug.
So we see here that our participant dantheman wants to feel control over those aspects of his life that he doesn’t like. He wants to take charge of it and make it better. If he felt the things he’d like to be different were out of his control, he wouldn’t be any happier.
The problem with this, class, is that sometimes certain things are beyond your control. You can’t change everything bad in life. And sometimes we go far crazier trying to keep everything in order than we would if we left everything well enough alone.[/couch psychologist]
All of our lives, I think, are a mix of things we can change, and things we can’t. In my twenties, I changed myself from being the prototypical ‘nice guy’ who had lots of woman friends, but could never get a date, to a guy with a reasonable romantic life who eventually found the one he was looking for. In my professional life, I’ve done various things at various times to take control of my career and improve my situation to one I was happier with.
OTOH, I will never be able to change the reality that when I was growing up, my parents didn’t so much pick favorites among me and my sisters, so much as pick one unfavorite - me. Even now, I know it’s unlikely that I will ever receive the acceptance from my father that my younger sister has known since she popped out of the womb. I have no control over these things, nor do I have much control over the reality that I will always crave that acceptance, even if it never comes. I have a certain amount of control over how I deal with this, and that’s about all.
Life is like that. Much is within our control, but there are always a fair number of immutable elements. How does the old prayer go - the one that asks for the strength to change the things you can, the patience to accept the things you can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference? It’s a sensible prayer.
That said, dan, I am very glad you’re here with us, in this life and on this board. And one of these days I hope to catch up with you in person; sorry I missed the last DC Lunch Bunch!
