Gazzy! No fair making me laugh in the middle of such seriousness! 
Yes, definitely agree. But although there are a lot of things we cannot change, we can instead change how we ourselves deal with them. We can sometimes even change their overall effectiveness. If you concentrate on a particular problem, you can often change how it effects you, even if you can’t fix the problem itself.
To Dan and the others who have considered, attempted and failed suicide attempts, CONGRATULATIONS! We all go through periods in life where everything seems hopeless and we feel unable to cope with anything else. At these times suicide seems like a solution, an easier alternative then living with pain. Maybe it is easier, to the one taking their life…but to those who love them, there is nothing harder in the world. They are left with a future of remorse, sadness, pain and overwhelming guilt.
My husband took his own life 10 years ago. That had a destructive and ongoing effect on my life. My son was 14 months old so he never had the opportunity to really know his dad. We were the two people most directly affected but it never fails to amaze me how many people were really affected. For example an aquaitance (not a close friend) was going to drop some tools to the house that day and decided to leave it till the next day. He still can’t look me in the eyes and believes he could have prevented my husbands death if he had been there. This is of course not true, but suicide leaves people with a sense of guilt and hopelessness that very few other things do (IMHO).
To those that survived attempts or even contemplated attempting suicide, Dans (and others) story will let you know that usually things get better. BUt I want you to know what a gift you have given the people who love you by still being here. To those that still have thoughts…just think of how those you leave behind will suffer and then think again…I know that thought is the only reason I’m still here.
To Dan thank you for this thread…suicide is an increasing problen and I believe it is because it is not talked about often and openly enough. You were very brave to share your story and may have saved a life without knowing it. Though I don’t know you from a bar of soap it is obvious the world is a better place with you in it. 
p.s I apologise for the myriad of typos etc
Wow, calm kiwi, what a beautiful post. Thank you very much for sharing it.
I can’t think of much to add to it. The thought that following through with the act would affect many people - however small an affect it was - did enter my mind. However, it didn’t really concern me until the morning after.
Thanks Dan, as you can tell it’s a topic that means alot to me. I think focussing on how survivors of attempts have been able to find happiness again is a good thing. But I do think if we talked about the devastation left after a suicide, more people would be able to catch themselves before going through with it. Just imagine how your mum, dad, siblings etc would cope with the guilt, loss and hopelessness. No matter how much pain we are in ourselves we would never wish to cause pain to those we love.
Thanks for being kind to a newbie re: atrocious spelling, grammar etc
Well, for many years after the incident, I replayed the hours before and the hours after in my mind. At some point, I realized this was just a futile gesture - was I solving anything?
I am not exactly the most successful person in the world, but I achieve success through my own failures. And like the phoenix, I guess I have risen from the ashes of that former life.
I suspect a few other “survivors” might be this way, too, but I won’t presume to assume that.
Yep…rising out of those ashes myself
I’ve been there, too, dan. Once when I was 15, I tried to slash my wrists with a steak knife. I only had just gotten the knife in when my sister ran into the kitchen.
The other time was this past January. Needless to say, my wrists were a roadmap of scabs.
It’s nice to be away from that place.
Good to see you here, Nocture]. The reminders you carry on your wrists, others of us carry in our minds.
I’m glad to know that although the suicide rate is hight, there are many, many that we don’t hear about that decided to live the short life we have, just because of the possibilitles.
thankx for sharing.
in my younger years, i came close very few times. The only thing that changed it is the fact that my best friend had attempted. The devestation/guilt i felt made me realize that although the sun would still rise tomorow, some lives i would ruin in the prossess. And i made it my mission to help my friend.
We’re both still here, very much alive and much much happier.
*my handle describes me, but not in the sence of me taking my life. It’s more of the crazy decisions i make that sometimes end in catastrophy, whether in work, school, love, etc…
I love you guys.
[hugs everyone]
karol
I’m a little surprised, albeit pleasantly, to see this thread bumped. Love you guys right back.
I love you, too.
AND you, Dan darling.
Well hey there, Cheri!
I thought I had email notification on for this thread, but I didn’t get anything for any of these most recent posts. Funky! Good thing I do a new posts search frequently.