An lo, it came to pass, a deceiver amongst the pure Sisters of Boobage. Her name was called Pamela, from the tribe of the Bimbites, and she had not natural boobies, but those from a foreign land. And it was murmured among the Elders, “Yea, she smelleth of silicone.” The younger men of the camp, those not wise in the ways of natural mammaries, did giggle, saying, “Nice rack,” and performed abominations, even unto the spanking of monkeys.
Until one day, anger was kindled in the heart of AquaPura and the High Priestess did rise up, eyes flashing fire, and nipples erect through her vestments, and cast out the bearer of false breasts called Pamela, saying “Get thy store bought titties out from before our eyes, and take thy doofus Lee of Tommy with thee.” And so Pamela went forth and was banished to the land of E! reruns and other portions of the wilderness.
Then did the men of the land rise up, and they gazed upon the High Priestess, and saw that she was a hottie, and did rend the garments of their concubines asunder, and did fall every one upon his staff, and a mighty coupling was had in the land, and the people knew it felt great, and was good.
And the cleverness that is wrought from the hearts [sub]or perhaps a lower organ[/sub] of men when they doth harken upon the altar of boobage…it must be divine inspiration. DanceswithCats that was truly inspired.
Hail Boobies, full of milk
All eyes [sub]and a few hands[/sub] are with thee
Blessed art thou amongst boobies
And blessed is the Fruit of the Loom[sub]DDcup, extra support with padded shoulders and just a touch of lace[/sub]
Oh, I can’t go on. Someone who is not an Italian, Catholic woman will have to finish it. I need to go bathe in guilt now.
Oooh, I like this religion! I suppose that with my 34C’s I only qualify as an apprentice, but I will gladly join Psalex in the hallowed halls of learning.
Since your boobies are so good at finding things, can you help me find my lost ring at the beach? I could hold you like a metal detector. I’ll hold your ankles up while you crawl around on your elbows and your boobs drag on the beach. That way, they can attract my ring like a magnet.
Oh knowed out, you romantic fool, you. What woman could resist such an offer? Well, maybe me, but what do I know, all my boobs can seem to find is bad men.
Well, simple dreamer, time to jump back in the hot tub, then!
