You people are all missing the point. Inter Alia, memorize and recite many baseball statistics. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.
Hey, you’re taking it out of context!
“Faster, baby!”
Yeah, faster!
“Harder!”
Um… OK.
“Deeper!”
Mostly no. Sometimes, “Ooh, that feels good.” I just have a hard time saying it.
I like that. I’d definitely feel more comfortable if I was responding to something he asked.
He’s definitely not bullying me - he just wants feedback. We’ve been together a little over three months, but I don’t know how serious it is yet. Other than my quietness, we are extremely compatible in bed.
Happy Lendervedder, your list is … interesting. Actually, I think it might be inspiring.
I appreciate everyone’s advice so far. Looks like I need to just start talking, even if I feel silly at first. Hopefully, I’ll get comfortable with it the more I do it. I just hope he thinks it sounds hot rather than ridiculous.
This made me laugh so hard I almost drenched my soft ,silky panties with hot, golden urine.
As for the OP, I’ll tell you how to talk dirty if you’ll tell me how to get my boyfriend to shut the hell up during sex. Not to be a party pooper or anything, but if talking dirty is really not your thing I don’t think you should be pressured into doing it.
You should write romance novels! 
Start with the preamble to the Constitution, the work your way up to the Gettysburg Address. When you can do Lincoln’s Second Inaugural, you know you’ve made it. And your partner will thank you for it.
Or you can do soliloquys from Shakespeare. Pepper Mill is partial to reciting “The Quality of Mercy is not Strained”
I gotta admit, I got a little moist reading that myself.
How all occasions do inform against me,
And spur my dull revenge!
Don’t worry about sounding silly. Some of the hottest things my partners have said during sex give me a smile later one, even if they do sound silly, and I will remember them for a long time and always bring back fond memories. For example:
I still remember Stephanie saying, “OH Yeah!! That’s the stuff!” while I was eating her.
Because she wouldn’t use any curse words, Jessi would say, “Oh, shhhh—ah shah!”
Elizabeth was complimenting me on our first time by saying, “GOD! If everybody was this good there would never be any divorce.”
BTW, Inter Alia, if you want to know if you’re doing it right, just film it and send me a copy and I’ll give you some honest feedback from a neutral 3rd party.
You’re welcome.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Talking dirty during sex IS ridiculous. You have no obligation to make yourself ridiculous.
Find out what his interests are and tailor your comments on that. If he plays Pokemon, yell, “I CHOOSE YOU!” If he likes Nascar, keep yelling, “TURN LEFT!” or “TIME FOR A PIT STOP!” If he’s a Star Wars fan, all you have to yell is, “FASTER” and “MORE INTENSE!”
I could tell you were a marvellous actor from the way you handled your Bottom in my Dream.
If you find that you’ve started a sentence that would be awkward, strange, or hilarious to finish, just cut yourself off with a moan.
Just get drunk beforehand. It’ll make your wild side easier to come out and you won’t have to worry about being self conscious.
This seems a bit…narrow-minded. Are you being serious? As it applies to all individuals and couples?
But DON’T say:
– I have a BAD feeling about this
– --Let the Wookiee win
– I thought they smelled bad on the outside
– Use the Force, Luke!
– I never thought I’d be smuggling myself in them
There’s no reason you can’t keep to one syllable stuff at first, just “ooh” and “mmm” and “ohhh” with maybe a classic “OMG” for particular emphasis. It’s feedback, but not quite as distracting as constructing sentences in your head and evaluating them for how silly they’ll sound.
“Boogity boogity boogity!!”