My brother-in-law is trying to kill himself with the power of prayer

[cwthree]

@kanicbird

I don’t do it in my own name but in the Name of Lord Jesus.

Were you out the day they covered not taking G-d’s name in vain?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@kaylasdad99

Somebody grab a Strunk and White; we need an adjudication on whether that should be no less than him whom I tempt.

I have my style manual right here, & I checked first.
[Alliance Operative]

I am not an idiot, Captain.

[/Alliance Operative]

@Jack Batty

Can we just take the fact that Skald edited his last post as ipso facto, quad erat demonstratum, e pluribus unum, post hoc, iridium, ehay uckedfay omethngsay, proof that there was an error in there at one point?

No, we can’t. I edited the post to add more snark, which is specifically allowed under the Khitomer Accords. Colour of law and so forth.

Having said that, I can’t believe you guys overlooked that I left the acute Ilúvatar off in “Ilúvatar.” Given that I included a diacritic in “panserbjørn,” doing so is stylistically inconsistent and surely qualified as Gaudere’s Wrath.

Come on, people! I threw that one in as a gift and added a clue! (I included an even subtler clue in this post, which includes two punctuation errors.)

[Polycarp]

@teela_brown

Thank you. I had been thinking that there existed a little-known deity named “buddy”.

Of course there is.

[Claptree]

@Jack_Batty

Damn it!

There has to be something in there.

Commas before “ands”? Double dashes? Lack of a semi-colon somewhere?

Throw us a frickin’ bone here.

Why not go for a straight misspelling?

@Skald_the_Rhymer

I speak not of the administrator known as Gaudere, but of the the master wordsmith for whom she was named – an Ainu who was, for a brief time, corrupted to Melkor’s service, and who has now returned to the mansions of the Valar. But though Gaudere once again stands in Iluvatur’s service, he retains the mark of his former master, and thus delights in pedantry and nitpicking. Thus all who love words love Gaudere, and yet they fear him.

[Pedantic asshole]

Ilúvatar.

[/Pedantic asshole]

ETA:

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Having said that, I can’t believe you guys overlooked that I left the acute Ilúvatar off in “Ilúvatar.” Given that I included a diacritic in “panserbjørn,” doing so is stylistically inconsistent and surely qualified as Gaudere’s Wrath.

Come on, people! I threw that one in as a gift and added a clue! (I included an even subtler clue in this post, which includes two punctuation errors.)

Not the only error, my dear sir.

[Kolga]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

[Alliance Operative]

I am not an idiot, Captain.

[/Alliance Operative]

/pedantic asshole

it’s “I am, however, wearing full body armor. I am not a moron!”

/end pedantic asshole

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

@Ro_Carter

Seconded. Can we send him a hat?

Yes.

Let’s put it to a vote–should kanicbird’s hat be:

[ol]
[li]tinfoil/admiral style[/li][li]propeller beanie[/li][li]Moose-antlered Fez[/li][li]the traditional pointy Dunce Cap[/li][li]A brass deep-sea diver’s helmet, so we can slam the facial port on his prating screeds[/li][/ol]

[Cervaise]

@kanicbird

God allows the wicked to prosper for a time, in hopes of repentance, but His wrath does come to them.

Pol Pot died peacefully in his bed.

Your God is a pussy.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Kolga

/pedantic asshole

it’s “I am, however, wearing full body armor. I am not a moron!”

/end pedantic asshole

That’s not an error. I was *channeling *the Alliance Operative, not *quoting *him. Note the lack of quotation marks or tags.

@Claptree

Why not go for a straight misspelling?

@Skald the Rhymer

I speak not of the administrator known as Gaudere, but of the the master wordsmith for whom she was named – an Ainu who was, for a brief time, corrupted to Melkor’s service, and who has now returned to the mansions of the Valar. But though Gaudere once again stands in Iluvatur’s service, he retains the mark of his former master, and thus delights in pedantry and nitpicking. Thus all who love words love Gaudere, and yet they fear him.

[Pedantic asshole]

Ilúvatar.

[/Pedantic asshole]

Sorry; that was already addressed so you get no points.

@Claptree

Not the only error, my dear sir.

Which are?

The ones I’m talking about are the period and comma inside the quotation marks. Those are correct by American usage, but since I was not merely referencing British authors but went out of my way to include a British spelling (“colour”) they’re stylistically inconsistent. (Obviously on purpose, as I’m trying to keep kaylasdad from stroking out.) Did I miss something else?

[Claptree]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Sorry; that was already addressed so you get no points.

Ah, I see my use of bold text in your quote was too inclusive. There were two errors in the word I emphasized. Let’s try that again, with extra everything.

@Skald the Rhymer

I speak not of the administrator known as Gaudere, but of the the master wordsmith for whom she was named – an Ainu who was, for a brief time, corrupted to Melkor’s service, and who has now returned to the mansions of the Valar. But though Gaudere once again stands in Iluvatur’s service, he retains the mark of his former master, and thus delights in pedantry and nitpicking. Thus all who love words love Gaudere, and yet they fear him.

Ilúvatar.

Sorry; that was already addressed so you get no points.

Do I get points for you missing it twice?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Claptree

Ah, I see my use of bold text in your quote was too inclusive. There were two errors in the word I emphasized. Let’s try that again, with extra everything.

Ilúvatar.

Do I get points for you missing it twice?

I give. What is it?

[SisterCoyote]

@kaylasdad99

Somebody grab a Strunk and White; we need an adjudication on whether that should be no less than him whom I tempt.

Nope. “he” is correct in that sentence.

Just don’t ask me to explain why, because I can’t remember the rule at the moment.

[Claptree]

Just in case this isn’t a whoosh: not only did you leave out the acute, you also exchanged an ‘a’ for a ‘u’. Which you did not comment in your follow-up posts.

[Kolga]

People, people, we’re missing the point. There’s still a poll out on the type of hat to be awarded to kanicbird. Can we leave aside whether or not Skald violated Gaudere’s Law to settle that much more important issue?!

[wonky]

@Kolga

People, people, we’re missing the point. There’s still a poll out on the type of hat to be awarded to kanicbird.

A pointy pope hat.

[Green_Bean]

Deep-sea diver’s helmet. (And truly an inspired idea, I might add!) We can slam the face plate on him, and if he keeps going on and on anyway, we can hit him over the head with a fire extinguisher.

!!!CLANG!!!

[E-Sabbath]

@NinjaChick

Yes. There is no God, to say nothing of one that may or may not use magic to heal a pancreas, at this point nothing but medication and dietary management will do anything for diabetes, and it’s a mark of astonishing and willful ignorance to think otherwise. Praying to anyone or anything is a complete waste of time. People who say otherwise are causing great harm by giving people false hope that will never, ever be realized. Ta-da!

Okay, I can disagree about the ‘causing great harm’ provided prayer is used as a supplement to seeing your damn doctor and doing what he says, though. But still, both you and kanickbird agree that seeing the doctor and doing what he says to do is the right thing to do in this sort of case.

[NinjaChick]

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

Yes.

Let’s put it to a vote–should kanicbird’s hat be:

[ol]
[li]tinfoil/admiral style[/li][li]propeller beanie[/li][li]Moose-antlered Fez[/li][li]the traditional pointy Dunce Cap[/li][li]A brass deep-sea diver’s helmet, so we can slam the facial port on his prating screeds[/li][/ol]

Oooh, I vote for a pointy diver’s helmet with both moose antlers and a propeller on top.

[raindrop]

From the way this thread started I’m now very surprised at the very delightful erudite up-turn.

And I didn’t realize this type of scholarly comedy was also allowed in the Pit?

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

Yes.

Let’s put it to a vote–should kanicbird’s hat be:

[ol]
[li]tinfoil/admiral style[/li][li]propeller beanie[/li][li]Moose-antlered Fez[/li][li]the traditional pointy Dunce Cap[/li][li]A brass deep-sea diver’s helmet, so we can slam the facial port on his prating screeds[/li][/ol]

All very excellent choices, thank you! :D…

Let’s see… well, the diver’s helmet certainly has a hard-to-resist “slamming” appeal…

… but then, there is something about that “propeller beanie” that really tugs on me too… … hmm… can it be a rainbow colored one?

Okay then, I formerly cast my vote for the rainbow propeller beanie. (And hopefully this doesn’t also negate Green Bean’s fire extinguisher idea?)

(and please don’t check my grammar and spelling and well-placed tick marks. … because I not write so good. )

[Guinastasia]

@jsgoddess

A pointy pope hat.

Don’t his type usually say that the Pope is the Whore of Babylon, though?
(I have a question, though-for people like Skald’s brother-in-law, how do they explain people getting healed through doctors? Wouldn’t they consider THAT defying God, so why would God allow it?)

-Actually, I’m starting to feel that Kanicbird is probably enjoying all this ridicule, if only because it feeds his martyr complex-that he buys that whole-“You will be persecuted in My name.” As if the real Jesus wouldn’t have preferred people going out and truly HELPING others, rather than sitting around feeling self-righteous.

[Polycarp]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

I give. What is it?

When you first typed the Name of Eru, you wrote Ilúvatur – as people have been subtly pointing out to you since. The sounds of trumpeter swans flying by three inches overhead should have alerted you thyat something was up.

The mills of Gaudere grind slow, but they grind exceeding fine!