The latest missive from our resident village idiot. I think there should be a sticky at the top of Great Debates warning all as to the utter uselessness of logical argument when dealing with this lunatic.
mhendo
November 22, 2011, 10:20pm
3
Ludovic:
Band name!
Or a Robert Ludlum novel.
Anyway, kanicbird truly is one of the board’s more bizarre people. When i first joined, he was just a right-wing asshole, but somewhere along the line he found religion and became a total fucking proselytizing nutbar.
I don’t have anyone on this message board on “Ignore,” but i rarely pay much attention to anything that kanicbird has to say.
mhendo
November 22, 2011, 10:24pm
5
When traffic stops for me, i find that it’s usually the devil or the four horsemen of the apocalypse who can take the credit.
Frank
November 22, 2011, 10:25pm
6
pakalolo:
One of my favorites:
Angel to driver: Say, there’s a drooling cretin standing in the middle of the road looking directly into the sun. Better stop.
Really, OP? That’s the part you quoted? He stopped my traffic with this particular gem .
steronz
November 22, 2011, 10:27pm
8
I’ve seen some crazy kanicbird shit before, but that thread truly has some epic gems. For those who’d rather not wade through them:
I had a cop stop me while I was with 3 people who where fairly to very drunk, and I have also has some to drink. There were open bottles of wine in my car, and I was exceeding the speed limit by a fair amount when he started his pursuit.
At my side appeared Arch Angel Micheal who told the officer ‘you are not needed here, I am watching over them’, the officer immediately returned my license wished me a good day and returned to his car.
When you are doing God’s work you are above earthly authority.
In response to, “How was the stripper party?”:
Actually pretty boarding. Strippers are not sexual to me. Years ago I had a demonic being called a succubus, from about age 2 to well into adulthood. That relationship had to be split by God which was done. But in the vein of all things working for the good, I found out about incredible levels of sexuality well beyond what I believe anyone here has experienced. What the strippers appear to me is small children putting on a play, nothing more.
Now on the other side I have been able to bring that incredible into my life at the appropriate time with the right person and a person who wants to experience those things.
But the trip was good as I did have a enjoyable time talking before the show and hope that a failing marriage can be reunited and a life restored.
Why doesn’t he just not go to the stripper parties, you might ask?
One year I decided to not go, and state outright my objection based on standard Christian doctrine. The event still happened. After which I got the message taht I should have gone because the Lord has made me immune to lust (at least lust at that level) and I could have been useful for Him. The following year I went, though I tried to not go, let my g/f know I didn’t want to go but felt that I should go. Even though she objected to stripper parties in general she told me I need to go.
So while there one of the strippers came over to me and started a lap dance, in my eyes it was as if she was a totally innocent and young child, I was seeing her soul as Jesus sees her soul, just caught up in worldly ways, but with the innocence of a child. It was a amazing experience of God that I am very privileged to be a part of.
But the interesting part is that he/she still manages to get the thread going and can find people who respond to his diatribe and try to reason with him.
steronz:
I’ve seen some crazy kanicbird shit before, but that thread truly has some epic gems. For those who’d rather not wade through them:
In response to, “How was the stripper party?”:
Why doesn’t he just not go to the stripper parties, you might ask?
And the twisted part? I can believe most of the other stuff before I could believe he has a GF.
Just when I was thinking, “What is even the point of Pitting kanicbird?” I see this:
For those who don’t believe in clicking, here’s an excerpt:
So while there one of the strippers came over to me and started a lap dance, in my eyes it was as if she was a totally innocent and young child, I was seeing her soul as Jesus sees her soul, just caught up in worldly ways, but with the innocence of a child. It was a amazing experience of God that I am very privileged to be a part of.
I pretty much died laughing after reading this. Thanks, purple, that was comedy gold. Edit: Damn, I got all kinds of ninja’d there.
Ludy
November 22, 2011, 10:32pm
12
I generally skip over his posts because I don’t like his brand of crazy, but wow those posts are all comedy gold.
ETA: apparently I think like MeanOldLady .
I have a hard time believing this guy is not a troll.
Yep. Him and at least a dozen others.
I WAS RAPED BYDEMONS FROM HELL And all I got was this
kanicbird:
I’m just going to address this part, I was raped by demons from hell, endured unspeakable torment, constant fear and also the shear loneliness of a place called outer darkness.
So let me get this straight: You bought tickets from TicketMaster, saw a Nickleback concert, and it was in Baltimore. That about right?
I have this image of someone dragging him out of a strip club as he’s flailing with a hand full of ones, “No, you don’t understand! I see them as innocent young children! God has made me immune to lust! This is a boner of salvation!”
I’ve never posted in the pit before, but I have to say that was great joke.
kanicbird used to strike me as a rather harmless religious woo-woo’ist.
But this stuff makes me think he’s gone off the deep end and burned any remaining bridges between himself and Sanity.
:eek:MwaG , that was truly an epic joke.
No, he seems not all that unusual for a Christian true believer; there’s tens of millions just as irrational. The only unusual thing is that he’s a long term poster on a board like this, where his claims are treated with skepticism instead of “Praise Jesus!”