Oh, Nichol…I am so sorry that you have to go through this. And I can certainly understand your feelings. It’s a very natural reaction. But when you say “If my brother were going to change, he would have done so now,” I have to quiety object. I have seen MANY people, often quite badly addicted, get and stay clean at much more “advanced” ages. Trust me, it is NEVER too late.
Hoping the best for you and your family.
I don’t have any personal experiences to share, but you and your brother are in my thoughts and prayers, Nichol.
He’s alive. I visited him last night, and he woke up just a couple of hours before we got there. He looked terrible – he’s lost about 50 lbs, and now only weighs slightly more than I do, and I’m his much younger sister. The doctors had him on so much morphine that he didn’t know whether he was coming or going.
I asked him what being in a coma was like. He shrugged and said he didn’t remember. My aunt and I suggested he enter a rehab, but he laughed it off. He then began gripping about how his life is worthless and that he just can’t get a break – before the pity party begins, this man has brought everything bad on himself. Yes, he’s had a hard life, but so have I, but I’ve never O.D.'ed in my ex-wife’s front yard. He ripped off his half-brother and our mother for everything they had, then managed to blow $20,000 on drugs in a month. His stepmother even arranged for him to enter college and make something of himself, but he stole her money too and split. He was sleeping in a friend’s garage when he O.D.'ed on what the nurse said was everything but barbituates and alcohol.
We discussed having him placed in a rehab forcibly, but decided against it. If he wants to go, he’ll go; there are several free ones in my state. If not, then I don’t have a brother anymore. We’ve done all we could, and I’m tired of trying to help him and being hated for it. I’m a college student, I’ve got a life of my own to worry about, as do my aunt and uncle and everyone else in the family whom my brother has taken for a ride over the years. We’re all sick of him, and finished with this surly thieving liar.
My brother is alive, but he’s dead to me. I loved him, and he made me regret it.
.:Nichol:.
As I said earlier Nichol, it is a very deep sadness. But I fully agree with you (fwiw) and think you have made a good but tough decision. Wishing you luck and happiness!
Nichol, feel free to email me if you want to talk about anything, because I have been there and done that. It’s a tough, terrible decision, and no-one I know would wish it on an enemy.
Take care of yourself, because no-one else will.
Deb
Try and keep your head up chum. When anyone dies it hurts, but the way your brother went must be just devastating. Just think he’ll be in a better place now, no problems will be with him any longer. I think you should talk to a close friend if your feeling really down it’s always better to get your feelings properly expressed, don’t suffer alone. Your no burden and a friend would never think about you that way cuz thats what friends are for.
Love, Peace and happiness xxx
i understand totally, nichol. there comes a point where you have to say: i have a problem with your drug use, i can not help you, you will have to stand on your own, i can not hold you any longer.
sometimes it is the only way that someone will get the help they need.
It sounds like you are trying to be strong, true to yourself and do the right thing. I wish you continued strength and am sorry for your situation.
I hope your brother finds what he needs.