My Consonances to the Bereaved

Okay, so over on this other board, there is a thread about a fatal scuba diving accident off the California coast. Two different posters expressed their “consonances” to friends and family, etc.

Is there somehow an alternate definition for consonance that renders these posts meaningful? Or are those posters simply smoking crack?

I’m guessing that poster just meant condolences.

ETA: I only saw one person do it but I don’t know why two people would make that mistake. Maybe one just piggy backed off the other?

S is right next to D, and an autocorrect might not fix it to the writer’s ingestion.

It’s a malapropism, though I can see how it might be due to autocorrect rather than brain fart.

They’re smoking crack. It should be, “My condiments to the bereaved.”

I believe the phrase you are looking for is “My condiments to the beavered.”

We have quite a few elderly couples in our church, and life spans being as they are, the men start dropping like flies in their late 70s/80s. And the widows come to church to be fawned over, and served finger sandwiches, and be put on display as a pillar of fortitude.

And, frankly, I’m running out of emotional strength that I can give these women. Besides, you can tell they’re putting up a front. They’re relieved: Ol’ StickInTheMud has finally shuffled off his creaking mortal coil… and they can finally go on that cruise.

So lately I’ve been offering my consonants to the widows of these men.

They’re just not worth buying a vowel for.

I said consummate V’s!

Maybe they were sending the "L"s from their LOLs.

Just as long as you don’t put ketchup on your beavered. Mustard, onions, and maybe chilli are the only ones that are acceptable. IMO relish is borderline, but most classy people frown on that as well.

This thread is making me laugh way too much. :smiley:

And, I don’t relish the idea of giving my condiments to the beavered.

It’s also possible that some dim racial memory of “console” has been conflated in their minds with “condolences.”

That’s not an improvement!

It’s not a malapropism. Humpty Dumpty would recognise it immediately as a “portmanteau word”. (See Lewis Carroll’s Alice for a cite.) They are combining the concepts of condolences and consolation into one word - consonances.

You offer consonances when you combine condolences and consolation -

“I’m sorry you’re feeling bad about your husband’s death, but look on the bright side, you’re better off without that bastard.”

“It’s a pity your son died, but now you can make a few bucks by renting out his room.”

It’s a great concept.

I think it might be a Cupertino of a malaprop. Possibly they thought “consolences” (or ‘consolances’) was the word to use, and it got corrected to consonances.

“It says ‘Celebrate.’ Celebrate!”

They meant to say “My consommé to the bearded.” Clearly.

So you’re saying the problem the people had was that they were using a more different S?

Speaking of condiments, spicy mustard rates high on my S list.

My condiments to the breathed. I relish your vowelable contritions to this conversion. I shall mustard a replay after I ketchup with my corespondents. Praise Jeebus.