Okay, so over on this other board, there is a thread about a fatal scuba diving accident off the California coast. Two different posters expressed their “consonances” to friends and family, etc.
Is there somehow an alternate definition for consonance that renders these posts meaningful? Or are those posters simply smoking crack?
We have quite a few elderly couples in our church, and life spans being as they are, the men start dropping like flies in their late 70s/80s. And the widows come to church to be fawned over, and served finger sandwiches, and be put on display as a pillar of fortitude.
And, frankly, I’m running out of emotional strength that I can give these women. Besides, you can tell they’re putting up a front. They’re relieved: Ol’ StickInTheMud has finally shuffled off his creaking mortal coil… and they can finally go on that cruise.
So lately I’ve been offering my consonants to the widows of these men.
Just as long as you don’t put ketchup on your beavered. Mustard, onions, and maybe chilli are the only ones that are acceptable. IMO relish is borderline, but most classy people frown on that as well.
It’s not a malapropism. Humpty Dumpty would recognise it immediately as a “portmanteau word”. (See Lewis Carroll’s Alice for a cite.) They are combining the concepts of condolences and consolation into one word - consonances.
You offer consonances when you combine condolences and consolation -
“I’m sorry you’re feeling bad about your husband’s death, but look on the bright side, you’re better off without that bastard.”
“It’s a pity your son died, but now you can make a few bucks by renting out his room.”
I think it might be a Cupertino of a malaprop. Possibly they thought “consolences” (or ‘consolances’) was the word to use, and it got corrected to consonances.
My condiments to the breathed. I relish your vowelable contritions to this conversion. I shall mustard a replay after I ketchup with my corespondents. Praise Jeebus.