My Continuing Education: Male Escort

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As noted in this thread, my bookie career has been cut short by ever increasing demands that are beyond my capabilities. Also as stated in that thread, my next career move would be male escort, so here we are.

Now, let’s not get tongue tied with regards to the bitter and sensual underbelly that this career choice can have. I’m talking upscale clientele, with professional and mature actions on my part.

I’m once again calling upon the Dope to help me burst or gush forth into this career. I’ve got a lot of tension and excitement building up that is in some desperate need of release. I am going to need some tips to maximize my rate of erecting my career status to the greatest heights possible.

Basically, what sort of pitfalls can noobs fall into if they’re not careful, or protected, if you will? What are some of the “unspoken” bonuses that won’t normally be part of my payroll, but can expect to happen on a consistent basis? As mentioned also, any tips to help erect my status to greater and greater heights to get my name out there for more frequent work? Any sorts of certifications or tests I should get or take to pad my resume where it counts?

Also, where should I advertise my wares for maximum awareness of the work I’m offering? Anything specific you can think of to maybe increase the word of mouth advertising?

What about clothing? Clothes make the man, right? I hear leisure suits are quite popular amongst my soon to be peers. Or are those more reserved for people that have been in the business for a while?

Oh and before I forget, yes I’ve got a lot of tension built up but I don’t want to be going off half-cocked or getting into anything or pulling out of anything prematurely, so any other advice you can think of is greatly appreciated.

2

I think a cowboy motif would work well. It would help if you have a manager. Look for one who isn’t afraid to let Taxi drivers know where he is walking.

3

I don’t even know what a leisure suit is.

To me, there’s nothing more leisurely than being naked.

4

Becoming a male escort was the topic of one of the letters in last week’s Savage Love column. Bonus was a letter on hiring a male escort for hetero sex.

5

Retirement homes and/or bridge clubs. Get one of those grateful octogenarians under your belt and they’ll tell ALL their friends. Before you know it you’ll be smelling like Ben Gay, swimming in $5 bills, and be up to your eyeballs in butter cookies.

6

I always thought it was ajoke…
but apparently, there really does exist such a job called cruise ship gentleman host

7

Oddly enough, the local news in Houston just did a story on this last night. Apparently there is a male escort company based out of Texas. It does claim to be aimed at female clientele. (Don’t recall the name. I am NOT searching for a male escort website on my work computer.)

Wait, here’s the story. Website is Cowboys 4 Angels.
http://www.click2houston.com/news/Women-hire-male-escorts-through-website/-/1735978/14587844/-/d3cung/-/index.html

Like female escort companies, it stays on the legal side of things by making the contract out for legal activities like accompanyment to social events, casual outings, companionship, etc. They cover their butts by saying that any sexual encounters that the customer and escort mutually agree upon are their personal business, and independent from the fee for the social engagement. The guy who runs the thing claimed they have a strict policy for behavior and treatment of the clients. It was suggested that this precluded sex for hire schemes, but seemed thinly veiled, especially since it was immediately followed by the aforementioned line about what individuals mutually agree upon in private is their private business, if love blossoms, blah blah blah.

Assuming your intent is to be a male escort for female clientele, and not gay or bi, you theoretically can make serious money. The guys were claiming they earned $10,000 a month.

However, in order to qualify for those levels of recompense, you need some serious qualifications.

First, you must have a very well-developed set of muscles and very fit body. There’s a new movie out, “Magic Mike”, about male strippers. Look like those guys.

Second, you must be sociable and outgoing, able to hold conversation with anyone. Making a woman feel comfortable and at ease when you are a stranger to her. So you must be witty, charming, and also able to converse on whatever mental level you find your client.

Third, most of your clientele (if not gay) will be older ladies looking for young studs. I hope you’re a young stud, and don’t mind older ladies. Some of them might even be attractive. You will likely need to compliment these women on their looks. Especially the more unattractive they are. I hope you can lie well.

Fourth, if you do find yourself participating in sexual activities, you should probably focus your efforts on satisfying her wants and needs rather than dictating your own. I’m sure you do this already as a rule, so this statement is merely a formality.

It’s probably also useful to have some knowledge of fine dining, wine selection, and perhaps a general familiarity with classical music and opera. You may find your clientele having you escort them to such venues.

You should probably invest in a tux. A good tux, not a cheap day-glo rental. For less formal ventures, you should be able to dress classy even when casual. Always a good idea to precoordinate the type of event to know how to dress properly for the occassion.

I hope you find your new career choice more conducive than the bookie thing.

8

Wow. I couldn’t be LESS qualified if I tried!

9

Even with a leisure suit underneath, you will probably still scare away most of the prospective clientele, given your handle.

10

Yeah, I was thinking I’d need some sort of nickname or alias more appropriate for this profession. Astroboy, qualified or not seems like he might be able to at least use his nickname to get places.

EDIT: Also, what’s with the mention of sex? Having sex for money is illegal! I’m not trying to get on the wrong side of the law, I’m an upstanding citizen that goes through great pains to avoid legal troubles. Hell, all of my “donations” to the local police are also partially why I needed a new career. Bookie just wasn’t going to get the job done, not with the police at my door all the time asking about donations.

11

“Squishypants” is in high demand? Who knew…

12

Be sure to become a Certified Massage Therapist.

Research if there are any professional schools in your area. (Are you in or anywhere near the San Francisco area? I can give you references.)

[sub](What, you weren’t making it as a Linux Sysadmin?)[/sub]

13

Yes, but having sex is perfectly legal, and it’s also legal for a lady to give her boyfriend a present (money or otherwise) before, during or after sex. To be charged with prostitution, it needs to be a quid pro quo, so you just need to be able to assert that you weren’t offering sex for money, and the lady wasn’t offering money for sex :smiley:

14

Will you accept zombie clients?

15

Just make sure to select your clientele carefully – avoid giants, compulsive eaters, detectives’ wives, and women with Tourette’s, and you should be all right. Oh, and don’t get your buttcrack waxed, and always be careful around a fellow gigolo’s fish.

16

In many jurisdictions, they don’t bother to make it illegal to accept money for sex, because it would be impossible to enforce. Rather, there are laws against soliciting money for sex. That way the undercover cops don’t have to actually have sex with the hookers, or johns, for all elements of the crime to be present.

17

See? These are the kinds of awesome tips I started this thread for. Bring on the 40-something MILFs that need a male acquaintance to escort them to high class dinner parties and other such social events!

18

I would have thought the bees would be a turnoff.

19

Pics or it ain’t happenin’.

20

As I said, the fee is for the arrangement for companionship, social interaction, and going to places and doing things. If the two consenting adults mutually agree that sex would also be enjoyable, they are legally allowed to get it on.

Just make sure any discussions of “fee structure” are kept separate from discussions of sexual activity.