My Dad went to jail yesterday.

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

He is 75 years old and plead guilty to touching a child for lustful purpose. Two seperate girls pressed charges though I am confident there were others that simply did not come forward. My parents live in a very small (pop. 2500 ish) town and they were both thought of with much respect in the community. My mom ran a small day care in her home, and my Dad would assist her at times. Often she would take kids to dance lessons etc. and my Dad would watch any remining kids that stayed behind. It makes me sick to my stomach to even type this.
I have never been close to the man. I have never called him Dad (only by his name) and I usually only see/speak to him a couple of times a year and I only live 30 miles from him.

My Mom filed for divorce in March (the initial arrest was in Jan 2012) and it has resulted in some surprising reactions from my siblings. I have 2 sisters and we seem to be on the same page in general. But my brother (the oldest) has been shockingly supportive of my father. It has really driven a wedge between several of us.

I guess, I am just wrestling with alot of feelings about it. Sometimes I am furious, and sometimes I am just sad and embarrased. I cannot imagine what these poor little girls have been through and it enrages me that he could be so selfish and hurt so many people including his wife of 55 years!

#2

Holy cow, Mint Julep. You’ve been through the wringer lately. I don’t have much to offer except supportive thoughts. What a crappy thing for all of you to be going through. :frowning:

#3

Thanks freckafree and for the record, normally I lead a very quiet and boring life. I very much enjoy blending in and being invisible. So far, 2012 has not been very pleasant. I swear, I could not make this drama up if I tried. I am not that creative and I look forward to being boring and insignificant again.

#4

What is the nature of your brother’s support? Is he convinced your dad is innocent, or does he think the rest of you should continue to do your best to help him despite his guilt?

#5

While this doesn’t lessen the impact on the kids, keep in mind at that age it could be mental decline that caused him to do these things.

#6

A bit of both Machine Elf. And he has a beautiful daughter that is the same age as one of the victims. Perhaps my brother (he is much older and was not around for much of my childhood) had a different relatioinship with the man. I dont know if he had some real bond with our father and is reacting out of some sense of obligation? He seemed to dismiss fault or guilt and just wanted to be sure our Dad got proper legal counsel and he attended hearings etc with him.
I refused to answer my Dad’s phone calls (he only tried to call me twice during this) but I felt like I would throw up each time he called.

Edit to add, I think my brother does realize the guilt and thinks we should still support out dad…

#7

billfish678, I do agree in some ways, but even as a kid, I recall thinking he hugged my friends too long. He was just creepy. I honestly, never doubted the claims when I heard the charges.

#8

Ugh- I can imagine what you must be feeling to be associated with something like this. I’m glad your dad was caught and is being put away, frankly, but I feel for you to have to go through this. :frowning:

#9

Oh god, honey… {{{{{MintJulep}}}}}

I’m so sorry to hear about all the crap you’re going through right now.

#10

Thanks guys. I know everyone has problems, mine just seem a bit larger than usual as of late. :frowning:

#11

So sorry you are going through this. It must be really hard. Do you have people to talk to about this? It might be tempting to keep it a secret, but that really isn’t the healthiest thing to do.

#12

Sorry that you have to go through this. I would not wish that experience on anyone.

#13

Wow, could this have been the result of the beginnings of dementia? It seems so strange for someone that age to just start doing this out of the blue. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

#14

And when we have ours you’ll post hugs and good wishes in our threads. I was hoping from the thread title that it would be for lying down in front of a bulldozer breaking ground for an evil corporate developer or something.

I have no relevant experience, or wisdom to share. But I’m even now shooting positive vibes your way.

#15

This says it all really. I won’t pry but that reaction a normal father would never get from normal offspring.

And he pled guilty.

I’m so so sorry. So long as you, your sisters, and your mother can stick together I’m sure eventually your brother will come around.

#16

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.

My sister’s husband’s family had the same issue, but the father was molesting/touching his granddaughter, not a child outside of the family. Either way, it really tore the family up. He never went to jail, but his daughters do not talk to him any more (the son, my sister’s husband, does still talk to him though).

#17

This must be horrible for you. I have no words other than to say that you are in my thoughts.

#18

I’m so sorry.

#19

I’m sorry he’s your (or anybody’s) dad. Good that he’s locked up. You and your mom and siblings have my sympathy.

#20

I’m so sorry for you and your family; that’s a horrible thing to have to deal with.

The husband of my sisiter-in-law’s friend was charged with child molestation. He maintained that it was all bullshit and that he was not guilty - with his wife and grown children supporting him - until the trial. He then entered a guilty plea without even telling his wife first.

You might want to see a counselor about this, even if it’s just for a couple of visits. Someone neutral, where you can vent your feelings. Or you are always welcome in the mini-rants thread (not that this is a mini rant) in the Pit. You are in my thoughts.