Norinew, you have my prayers and best wishes.
If this is your daughter’s choice to try to get herself back on track, it can work - my experience with therapy is that people get out of it in direct proportion to how much work they’re willing to put into it. I hope, someday soon, she learns just how great parents you and your husband are.
Of course, if she’s doing group therapy she may already be finding that out. There’s always someone who’s had a harder trip than you.
Here’s hoping that she turns over a new leaf, norinew. I wish you lots of luck and love.
Best wishes to you and yours, Norinew. Hope things get better.
With a lot of addicts/alcoholics, once the substances are out of their system for 6 to 9 months, a lot of the psychiatric diagnoses tend to resolve on their own. Not all, or even the majority, but a lot. But if a person gets a psychiatric diagnosis while actively drinking or using, there’s a fair chance that the behavior was driven by the substance more than other factors.
That’s good news! Her psych meds are very expensive (close to $500.00 a month), and her health insurance runs out when she turns 18 in June. Of course, there are other avenues to pursue if she needs meds and can’t afford them, but it would be even better if she didn’t need so many!
Obviously, Qadgop, I’ve just rechristened you QrM. When you figure out what the “r” stands for, let us know, huh? 
I figured you’d just confused me with Leonard of Quirm. A natural mistake, really.
Qadgop, somehow I just get you confused with Lenny all the time! Silly me!
But seriously, folks. She’s been in rehab for five days now, and we are going for our first visitation today. I’ll be taking her the clothes she requested, as well as a box of snack cakes (they don’t get a lot of snack food in the rehab, and parents are not only allowed, but encouraged, to bring pre-made, pre-wrapped snacks). The reason it’s encouraged is that the kids’ “Snack Box” is a privilege that can be lost in instances of bad behavior.
I’ll post again this evening, to let you know how the visit went.
I hope it all goes well.
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We go to Deep Creek in the winter as our family vacation. We don’t go anywhere in the summer. It can be pricey, but we’ve found a fairly reasonable motel and stay there. We always pick up one of those real estate books and flip through it and drool over the huge homes for rent; the ones that sleep 20-25 people and have 10 or 12 bedrooms. They go for $4,000 a week. :eek:
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Best of luck to all of you, norinew. You’ve had a long, hard haul. Your daughter is exactly where she needs to be right now, and the rest of the family needs the respite as well.
I’m far from a medical professional so take this with a whole shaker of salt, okay? Even if you can’t afford your therapist right now, please consider AlAnon or some other type of family support in the meantime. It wouldn’t be your preference but it’d be something.
One thing I finally learned, far into my ex-husband’s long downward spiral into alcholism, was that a family member sick with addictions can make the whole family sick, just from the daily grind of coping. The worst, most perilous part is that all the terrible drain of energy, worry, sleep, nerves, etc. gradually comes to feel normal. Don’t underestimate the toll this ordeal has taken on all of you. Your whole family needs to regroup to find a healthier benchmark that can sustain all of you for the long run, not just your sick daughter.
That isn’t brutal or rejection of your sick girl. It’s just common sense. You can’t give something that’s already been ground away. It might even buttress your daughter’s conviction that something has to change. It could be an example to her that you’re working on your problems while she works on hers.
Again, just a suggestion and one raised from concern. No matter what, I wish strength, comfort and healing to all of you.
Veb
You know, you are so right that this can all come to feel “normal”, and that’s a scary thought; I will be talking to my daughter’s case manager later in the week, and am going to talk to her about what my counseling options are; no doubt she’s more aware of them than I am. Meantime, I’m trying my best to take care of myself, making sure I get enough sleep, take care of my own health issues, drink enough water, etc.
Our visit today went pretty well, and even though she’s having a tough time because of withdrawals from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, she seems to be adjusting.
She actually got into rehab just in time. She told us today that she had made arrangements to try heroin on New Year’s Eve! :eek: I have to tell you, I’ve heard enough about heroin that the thought of one of my kids using it scares the crap out of me.
Keep the good vibes coming, folks, it seems to be helping!
Also, everyone there loves to get mail. If any of you are interested in dropping her a note or a card, just email me for her info.
I’m happy to hear of this development, norinew, and I hope this means a fresh start in 2005 for your family.
Your strength, and your love and concern for your family, is very evident in your posts. Every child should be so lucky as to have a parent like you.
Best of luck.
Every parent with a problem child should be so lucky as to have a wonderful community like this one to draw strength from! 