I really debated posting this. I figure at least most of you are sick of reading it (if so, my feelings won’t be hurt at all if you just skip it); I know I’m sick of it, and it’s my life. But for those who want to continue to read, here it is.
A synopsis, for those who maybe haven’t been following the story, or have forgotten, or something:
My oldest daughter is now 20 years old. She came to us at 14 and said she thought she suffered clinical depression and wanted to go into counseling. We got her into counseling immediately. Soon afterward, she was diagnosed bipolar. No big surprises there. Later, she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and has even been diagnosed schizophrenic, though some experts have disagreed with that particular diagnosis. She has attempted suicide numerous times. She’s self-destructive as far as substance abuse, self-mutilation, smoking, very cavalier about her sex life, etc. You can always tell when she’s lying because her lips are moving. She has stolen from us. Really, it almost seems like she has no conscience.
When she was 16, she was involved with a man who was 40 (he’s crucial later in the story; let’s call him scumbag). We found out about it, and did our damnedest to stop it. It did end, eventually, under its own weight. In fact, her first stint in rehab (she’s done that twice), she said that he raped her when she was drunk/high. But the following year, she went back to him. When I confronted her about that (how you can go back to a man who raped you), she said she didn’t actually lie when she said that, but she had misremembered. I’m not sure how you “misremember” being raped, but, whatever. She moved in with him when she turned 18. They were planning a wedding. :rolleyes: Sooner or later, she called me and said he was being abusive, and he had raped her, and begged me to come get her. I did. She stayed here for a couple of months (disastrously; she has no respect for the household rules, and makes her 16-year-old sister nuts, plus I feel she sets a really bad example for my youngest daughter who is now seven), then went back to him. We told her that time that she could not, under any circumstances, move back in here. Probably never, but certainly not until she was on meds consistently and we saw proof that she was trying to get her shit together. Fast forward some months, she calls me. He’s being abusive, he raped her, I’m the only one who can help her, blah, blah, blah. I went and got her, but would not let her stay here. I let her spend the night then drove her to the local women’s shelter the next morning. I did tell her at that time that if she was ever stupid enough to go back to him, and things went bad again, I would not come get her. She can damned well call the cops to come get her. She got kicked out of that shelter when she attempted suicide yet again and did a couple of weeks in a mental hospital about 70mi. east of here.
When she was done in the mental hospital, she wanted to come home. We cannot let her do that. For my sanity, and the sake of my younger children, I cannot let her do that. A friend of the family helped her get placed in a cold-weather shelter in the same town the mental hospital was in. He also gave her information about how to get more permanent housing, which required her getting approved for social security (which I’m certain she qualifies for). She called me almost every day. For a while she had her own cell phone which got cut off (because she didn’t have any money to pay the bill, duh), but would borrow other people’s cell phones to call me, too. Every time she called, I’d ask her how things were going with getting permanent housing, and she always had 25 excuses why she wasn’t working on it.
A couple of weeks ago, I heard a rumor that she had been seen at the mall here in Cumberland with scumbag. Well, it was just a rumor. But she had stopped calling me. Then I heard something else which seemed to confirm the initial rumor, and seemed to imply she was living with scumbag again. Yesterday morning, Social Security called, looking for her. They’ve been trying to reach her for a week now. I told the lady I don’t know where she’s at, and haven’t heard from her. The lady told me she was going to recommend my daughter’s claim be denied, based on the fact that they can’t find her. This morning, hubby left for work early so he could stop by the shelter on his way to Baltimore (where he works) and ask about her. It’s been about two weeks since we heard from her. He was told by someone who knew her at the shelter that she moved out of the shelter over a week ago. So it seems the rumors are true.
I’m not really looking for answers. I don’t think there are any. Bottom line is, her father and I have done all we can. We’ve done family counseling (and been told by every counselor we’ve been involved with that we’ve done everything right; she’s just. . .broken), we’ve gotten her all the help we can, there’s nothing anyone can do but her. And she seems determined to make the stupidest possible decisions at any given point in time. I’ve heard from a fairly reliable source that scumbag (who is now 42, just a few years younger than me :rolleyes: ) is paying rent on their apartment by selling crack. She had some run-ins with the law when she was still a minor, and those run-ins seemed to give her the idea that the law doesn’t matter, isn’t enforced, and you don’t have to pay attention or follow it. If she gets busted in an apartment where there’s a lot of crack, she’ll sure as hell find out that the law’s a little different when you’re an adult.
Anyway, like I said, not looking for answers. Just blowing off steam. Plus, a couple of people have expressed interest in knowing how things are going (aren’t you sorry you asked? 
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