She was sitting on a padded bench outside the classroom when I first saw her. One of her legs was folded up under her, and she was wearing khaki shorts and sweatshirt with G***** (a small midwestern college) printed across the front. Her head was down, peering intently into a large textbook in her lap, oblivious to the crowd of students around her. Despite the fact she was reading the textbook on the first day of classes in our first year of law school, I was intrigued. Somehow sensing that, or, as I like to think, somehow sensing my stunning good looks and charm, she looked up.
At this point, I could spout cliches, and tell you how her sandy-blond hair created a halo around the face of an angel. Or I could tell you how she moved with the grace (and apparent hunger) of a jungle cat, as she moved her leg from under her, to put it on the floor. But those wouldn’t do justice to her beauty and grace. When the fog lifted, I saw her staring at me with her right eyebrow lifted as if to ask “May I help you?” Caught red handed, (or red eyed), I fumbled:
“I guess you went to G*****”
Pretty outstanding, isn’t it? Incredibly suave and debonair way of meeting and impressing women. It was but a small step up from falling to the ground and drooling on myself.
“Yes. And you went to M*****?”
I stupidly looked down at my own sweatshirt, emblazoned with the identity of my Alma Mater.
“Yep, but I almost went to G******.”
In that little snippet, you can witness the extent of my coolness and glaring intelligence. I was amazed that she didn’t just throw herself at me and beg me to take her away with me, what with me being so smooth and sophisticated. Luckily, I was saved from further embarrasment, which may have included me saying “You shure got a purty mouth,” when one of her new friends came up and they went together into the same classroom I was going into. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Maybe next time, I’ll just knock her on the head and drag her back to my cave. At least that would have had some dignity to it.