I know this might be TMI, but here it goes. If you are sqeamish about bodily functions you may want to avoid reading this.
A few months ago I had a prostate exam. It sucks, but I was way past due for a full physical, and I thought I needed the exam. So did my doctor since I wake up every morning around 4 am and have to pee. Luckily there are no prostrate problems, but that drives me crazy, since I have to get up at 5 AM.
But you know whats worse? When I get up at 5, and start getting ready to go to PT formation I always, always, always have to take a dump. ALWAYS! Its not like I can do that a 4. I just don’t have to go right then, except to pee.
And I usually don’t have the urge until I’m freaking dressed! I’ll be ready to head out and all of a sudden the urge to defecate overcomes me. I’ve even waited until the last minute sitting on the can and nothing. I put my spandex and PT uniform on and BAM! Now I gotta go! Its made me very close to being late several times. This morning I slept a little late and had no time. All through the formation I thought I was going to crap myself.
I have got to figure out a way to make this stop. I can’t get up any earlier. I’m not a morning person so its hard enough to get myself going out of the door no later than 0545. I need some kind of reverse laxative.
Have you always been on this same schedule or is this also a recent change?
Are you drinking coffee when you wake up? Coffee is a laxative so it’s going to make things want to move. Frankly, I think I would prefer to have that out of the way before I leave in the morning than have the urge bit later. Sorry, I have no suggestions on how to plug ul the plumbing. Sometimes you body just has to gets its way.
I work at a school district that has multiple buildings. When I was first hired, I worked out of building A. When I started my job here I would (without fail) have the irresistible urge to take a dump immediately after I arrived at work. I was at this building for 2 years and it happened just like clockwork every day.
Then I got moved to building B, and it stopped. I mean it completely stopped. I no longer had the urge after I got into work in the AM to take a dump. I naturally forgot all about it.
I worked at building B for 3 years, then I got moved BACK to building A and wouldn’t you know it started AGAIN. Every morning I come into work get my workstation fired up and WHAM, I have to go take a dump. I’ve been back at building A for 5 years now and it has been going like this every day I come into work.
Jolly, allow me to commiserate for I, too, experienced the urge during PT, usually halfway through a 3-mile run.
Go to bed earlier, start getting up at 4:00 and enjoy a couple cups of coffee while you work on your continuing education correspondence courses which you should be taking anyway. Lay your pipe around 5:30 and then out the door with you.
Dragwyr - It’s not as strange as you think. My previous roommate could not walk into a Home Depot with out needing to poop. We could go to Lowe’s with no problems, but she started walking funny as soon as we walked in to a Home Depot.
Its not part of the uniform, but I wear spandex shorts under my PT shorts. I have to or I get badly chafed in the…um…“area”.
Inigo Montoya: Correspondence courses won’t get me promoted, I’m a bit past that phase. Besides, with 20 years in and no great desire to more than my current enlistment (if I don’t just choose to retire before it expires), its not something I worry about.
I can’t get up at four. I’d be miserable. I go to bed around 930 PM or 10 on work nights. I don’t like getting up early, never have. I just need to NOT have to take a giant schlock first thing in the morning.
Deleros Reborn: I always have to fart in bookstores. I don’t know why.
Used to happen to me in the new campus library at my college. I’d walk in and promptly have to go find a bathroom. I don’t know what the deal is with that sort of thing, but evidently some people are susceptible to some sort of environmental suggestion that triggers the need? I dunno, it’s weird. And, I suppose, it would be self-reinforcing; every time it happens, your body gets the message that it’s supposed to happen.
I’m fine at work. Quitting time is 5:00 PM. I never, ever have to “go” at work.
Home is about 10 minutes away. Literally, the second I walk in my front door - bam. Body tells me - it’s deuce-time.
I have developed some strange environmental response. Get home? Time to drop a deuce. It’s very weird. I don’t feel a thing, literally, until I walk in the door. Then everything moves and it’s “I need to go, badly”.
I think the body does learn and pick up on environmental cues. Hell, it happens to dogs - why shouldn’t it happen to humans?
Sorry, no sympathy. I wake up at pretty much 3 am every morning, have all the life I can remember except when I worked nights. I also will get up at 5 am, pee, and then need to crap about 30 minutes later, and I refuse to hunker down on teh toilet the half an hour until I crap. I have had to train mrAru that he does not occupy the bathroom until after 6 am because when I have to finally go i HAVE TO GO NOW. grrrr … I dont even use an alarm clock, my body wakes me up at 5 whether I needed to or not, so I just take my morning meds at 530 every morning.
What sucks is when I have a multiday spell of insomnia where I just cant get back to sleep after 3:rolleyes:
I used to have the HCIDU too. Mine was also specific to Home Depot. It lasted about a year after I started working there (I made sure to show up early every work day so I could get the dump out of the way), then it finally went away.
Ever since I was a kid, brushing my teeth creates a sudden, urgent need for me to pee. The urge passes as soon as I am done brushing my teeth. The only way to prevent this is to pee immediately before brushing. :eek:
And I always try to poop in the morning before I leave for work; I hate pooping in public bathrooms. Sometimes I can’t go, but then have to go as soon as I get to work. I HATE that! :mad:
I always wake up about an hour before I need to be at work. Immediately, I pee and poop upon getting out of bed. I’ll check my e-mail, perhaps read a little Straight Dope, get dress, and about a half hour after my first dump of the day, I have to dump again. It doesn’t happen on my days off, unless I’ve got the beershits from the night before, but that’s a totally different story. I’m extremely regular. I poop probably 3 to 4 times a day, including the first two as separate dumps. If I get constipated, something’s really wrong.
I feel for the OP. It happened to me a couple years back, but luckily not while I was still in the military. I hated getting up early in the military, but I’m naturally up between four & five AM and that’s just the start of my day now. I get lots of quiet time to myself in the morning though, and that’s a bonus.
The other thing that sucks and started with me in my mid-twenties was a reversal of the “shit, shower, shave” mantra. Oh, no. For me it’s shower then shit. Every damn time. Five minutes after I get out of that warm steamy shower, I gotta go. If I don’t take a shower, no prob. In the evening if I want to go out and be freshly showered I pretty much have to take a shower, get dressed, wait a minute, dump, get undressed and back in the shower and hope it doesn’t do it to me a second time.
