My Favorite Episode...

of

THREE’S COMPANY: The one where Janet overhears a conversation between Jack and the blonde roommate du saison and thinks it’s sexual.

I LOVE LUCY: The one where Lucy does that zany madcap thing to get a part in Ricky’s act.

HEAT OF THE NIGHT: The one where the rich guy gets murdered, the wrong person is arrested, and low pitched gospel music is played as the police drive into the poor black section of town.

QUEER AS FOLK: The one where Michael whines, Emmet swishes, Justin pouts, and Brian has anonymous sex after revitalizing an ad campaign by homoeroticizing it.

GOOD TIMES: The one where J.J. says “Dyn-o-mite!” as a more serious sideplot addresses a dark social issue.

BEWITCHED: The one where Darrin passes off Samantha’s magic as part of an ad campaign he’s working on and Larry hates the idea but changes his mind when the client loves it.

DUKES OF HAZZARD: The one where the poor but honest Duke family derail the bad guys scheme even though Boss and Roscoe are trying to jail them. (I think this is the one with the car chase.)

GOLDEN GIRLS: The one where the old ladies sit around a kitchen table eating cheesecake while Blanche talks about sex, Rose tells a stupid St. Olaf story, Sophia makes a rude comment about Dorothy’s lack of a sex life, and all the girls wear designer outfits their characters could never afford.

BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: The one where Jethro is still wearing a rope belt and driving an ancient truck even though he’s living in a 30 room mansion and Granny mentions some ungodly concoction she’s cooking involving organ meat from a wild animal.

What are some of your favorite episodes from these and other TV series?

St. Elsewhere -where that guy dies and Boomer feels bad and Nurse Rosenthal and Dr. Craig make him feel worse but then he talks to Dr. Westphall and feels better about himself as a doctor.

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GILLIGAN’S ISLAND–The one where they all nearly get rescued but Gilligan does something stupid at the last minute and they’re all still stuck on the island.

BEWITCHED–The one where Endora puts a crazy spell on Darrin and no one, not even Samantha, can figure out what’s going on.

STAR TREK–The one where they beam down onto an uncharted planet and the guy in the red shirt gets killed and it looks like they’re all done for but then Kirk figures out the bad guy’s Achilles heel at the last minute and they all get away.

LOST IN SPACE–The one where Dr. Smith gets them all in trouble.

BATMAN–The one where the bad guy says, “I wish I could stay and watch you die horribly, but I’ve got to go do something,” and while the bad guy’s gone Batman and Robin escape.

MAS*H–The one where Hawkeye makes a bunch of wisecracks and then gets morose and then makes more wisecracks and then gets morose again.

Enterprise-where the Vulcans are all sticks-in-the-mud and it takes human idiocy and ignorence to triumph over anything that could almost but not quite bast the crap out of their ship.

Oh and Seinfeld, where the sit in that coffee joint and repeat after each other.

CHEERS: The one where Norm comes in, everybody greets him heartily, and he has a few beers.

ENTERPRISE: The one where Travis Mayweather has 2 or fewer speaking lines.

THAT 70S SHOW: The one where a bunch of 90’s acting kids sit around a basement trying to act like they are from the 70’s.

BOSTON PUBLIC: The one where Principal Harper has several major crises to deal with at the same time.

24: The one where Kim does that stupid thing that gets her into trouble.

FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS: The one where Bob Saget’s jokes are so bad that I would like to disembowel him with a fork.

DOCTOR WHO: The episodes made in black & white that the BBC didn’t get around to burning.

THE PRISONER: The one where Number 6 has to endure the machinations of the Number 2 de jour.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: The one where they make hysterical comments about a truely awful movies.

DANGER UXB: The one where they have to disarm an unexploded German bomb in a tricky position.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE: The one where Rod Serling makes a poingnant remark about a character’s situation at the end of the episode.

FRIENDS: The one where they all die in horrible agony.

Truly awful movies, even.

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES: The one where Whoopi Goldberg isn’t funny.

BLACKADDER: The one where Baldric has a cunning plan.

YOU CAN’T DO THAT ON TELEVISION: The one where that kid gets green slime poured on his head.

WILL AND GRACE: The one where Jack sponges off of his friends.

Twin Peaks – The one where everyone acts weirdly.

Scooby Doo – The one where the villain would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.

Twilight Zone – The one where the bizarre and ironic plot twist happens.

The Man From UNCLE – the one where THRUSH comes up with a diabolical plot to take over the world.

The Academy Awards - The one where Billy Crystal sings that song about the movies that are nominated for best picture to the music of bad show tunes.

The Academy Awards - The one where Whoopi Goldberg is not funny.

Jerry Springer Show - The one where the crowd starts chanting “Jer-RY, Jer-RY, Jer-RY”, and where the body guards have to hold back the wives and pregnant girlfriends from beating each other up.

The Late Show with David Letterman - The one where Dave throws one of his cards through the window and they make that “window breaking sound” and where Paul makes a goofy remark while wearing an equally goofy suit.

ESPN Sportscenter - The one where the announcers make funny jokes and use catch phrases like “Boo-yah!” and “En Fuego” when reporting the days sporting events.

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Clerks - The one that aired

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The Flintstones – I like the one where Fred and Barney hatch some cockamamie scheme which lands them in big trouble with their wives.

QUINCY - The one where Quincy is investigating a murderer getting off on a technicality so Quincy asks his boss why there isn’t a law to cover the loophole.

THE LOVE BOAT - The one with the pool scene.

XENA - The one where one of Xena’s friends is in trouble and she helps out.

STAR TREK TOS - The one where all action is summed up in a voice over of the captain’s log.

STAR TREK TNG - The one that is written like a mystery novel.

THE AVENGERS - The one with the kooky rich guy with an unusual hobby who live on a large estate which John Steed and Mrs. Emma Peal investigate while trading quips until they drive off in John’s car.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - The one with the sketch that lasts too long and Kevin Nealon flubs a line doing Weekend Update.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE- the one where Horatio Sanz and Jimmy Fallon can’t make it through a sketch without cracking up like two ninth graders doing JULIUS CAESAR.

MURDER SHE WROTE- the one where Jessica just happens to be at the same place as a murder and the wrong person gets arrested for it. (I always thought the last episode would either be Jessica confessing she had murdered 300 people and framed other people for each one, or where the autistic kid from ST. ELSEWHERE was looking at a snowglobe of Cabot Cove.)

DR. QUINN- the one where the backwards country people are prejudiced towards the new people who aren’t like them but Dr. Quinn straightens them out while performing live saving surgery and her husband stops the bad guys with a skilled hatchet toss.

LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE- the one were Half-Pint helps the person nobody in town likes after Pa explains all people deserve to be loved even though Mrs. Olesen made a nasty judgmental comment.

FAMILY MATTERS- none. There were no good episodes of FAMILY MATTERS.

Laverne and Shirley - That one when L & S are discussing some horrible, vile, disgusting object, at which time Lenny and Squiggy open the door to say “Hello!”

Three’s Company - I liked that one when Jack pursed his lips and batted his eyes at Mr. Roper to look gay, and then they all went down to the Regal Beagle.

The Incredible Hulk - When Banner gets himself into some stressful situation, turns into the Hulk, rips his clothes, the problem solves itself, and then Banner walks down the highway in search of a new stressful situation.

The A-Team - You see that one when they knock out B.A. with a toxic cheeseburger, fly to that locale to right a wrong, then narrowly escape their Army pursuers? I think that’s the one when the cars and jeeps ride over the camera, and then a helicopter explodes.

McLaughlin Group - I’ll never forget the installment when all the participants talk loudly at one another, saying exactly what you’d expect them to say.

OZ - The one where the guards are useless mindless drones and the one guy gets ass raped.

the Sopranos - the one where Tony second guesses everything he’s about to do, theeeeeen goes ahead and has it done anyways.

the Simpsons - that one episode where Lisa acts like a 40 year old trapped in a second graders body, and Homer is just the opposite.

Everybody loves Ramond - where Ray’s wife won’t do him, and it’s funny when the dad calls him a sissy.

The Real World (pick a season) - where they take a loft, fill it with seven strangers, and film them being the biggest douches on Earth

Ooh! Ooh! THE SIMPSONS! I just love that one episode where the beginning is not anything like the rest of the episode, and they have that one celebrity, whatshisname, playing himself, and they have their every bit character say their trademark name, and the funniest part was that joke they made implying the episode was lame?

I think it was in the later seasons!

Also, there’s that one FRASIER episode where Frasier and Niles get into a stupid argument and Daphne makes some sexually suggestive remarks in Niles’ presence. I think it’s the one where Frasier analyzes his problems with psychological terms and Martin’s simpler advice proves more effective. You sure can’t beat that episode!