My name is jules4 love - YEA RIGHT !!! should I change everything I believe in???
I am so tired of giving up my life for other people. “it’s all about love” (my motto) where did that come from? it has been my motto thru thick and then (geez smile back, cuz I smiled at you!!! damn it!!!)
don’t get me wrong, just because my name is Jules4love - I am not slut nor do I sleep around, actually I just got out of a 3 year relationship!!! fucking “A” why is society like that ? when actually all they want to say is “hey, let me get in your pants for 3-4-5 years!!!” and then wake up one day and say…oooooohhh yuck, I don’t like you very much???well you sure in the fuck did 3 years ago and really I haven’t changed that much and neither have you!!! …I was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to you!!! I was the one!!! “your dream”…key word!! “WAS” until the next beach bunny came along!!! FUCKING ASSHOLE - I was always told “never put all your eggs in one basket…!!!”
How do people stay together for life??? 25 - 50 - 75 - 100+ years and then some, and then obviously some a alot less then that??? I want someone to love me like that!!! is that to much to ask???
FUCK!!! relationships are hard…but not that fucking hard!!! what the hell???
(1) Never lose sight of this simple fact… you are worthy of being loved…
(2) Don’t do head miles. Use the opportunity to change your lifestyle and sink your teeth into something new so that it will take your mind off how thing’s used to be. I would strongly recommend a combination of sporting activities which leave you so tired that you sleep straight thru the night without expending any nervous energy.
(3) Above all, if you’re a smoker - stop them right now for a while. Periods of “High Stress” turns people onto extra heavy periods of smoking as a ‘clutch’ mechanism. Avoid that trap like the plague. It actually takes your spirits ‘futher down’.
(4) Do not empower your ‘ex’ to influence your future decisions - as in “I’ll show him! I’m gonna do THIS! Or I’m gonna do THAT!” And definitely, DO NOT make the mistake of going out with a good looking guy purely with the hope that your ‘ex’ will see the two of you together etc. Totally wrong mindset there.
(5) Purely concern yourself with this one simple mantra - “My ‘ex’ does not deserve to know what I think or how I’m feeling. Therefore they shall never find out…”
(6) Best of luck my friend. Pump out good karma and it will come back to you - truly.
And let me add, that if you are NOT a smoker…don’t start!!! My ex-fiance ended a 5-year relationship and I started smoking to help get through the crying jags, thinking it was only a temporary crutch. Well, 4 1/2 years later, I’m still smoking and wish like hell I could quit.
This is great advice! At first you will want him to know how well you’re doing or how shitty he made you feel, but you will truly be “over” him when you feel indifferent about him. In my case, I thought if I hated him, I was over him. But when the day came that I didn’t care one way or the other is when I knew I was okay.
Good luck. It really sucks, but hang in there. And I know it’s cliche, but “time heals all wounds”. But if that’s not enough, do as I did and burn his pictures and favorite hockey jersey. That’s fun, too.
Your profile doesn’t tell me much, but your post sure did. I wish you all the best love has to offer. I can relate, believe me, even though I’m not your sex.
Stay with this thread and let us know how you’re doing. There are some caring folks here who wanna help.
((((((Jules)))))), You deserve better. You deserve what you want in a man and only because I know you IRL do I say that I think you know what kind of man that is. And he wasn’t it. Be strong, trust in what you believe in, and you will get over him. Don’t give up on your best motto just because of as ass like him and don’t you dare change your name jules4love!!! You are who you are and no man can make you change that. Yeah, he can alter your sense of direction for awhile, but you are still who you are and you haven’t changed.
I love ya’ and am always here if you need a friend
Jules4love, I’m new too. Here, and new to the realization that the one I thought was going to be there for me and, quite frankly, had assumed wanted to be there, just up and left after 4 years. My heart broke originally in December, then I thought it might be able to heal in March when we sat down and really talked to each other for a good week. He then had to leave town for work and it was like the original heart break all over again, but somehow worse because now when I had thought I really got through to him and was able to tell him how I really felt and he told me his feelings, it was like either he out and out lied to me or jsut decided again that I wasn’t worth trying. Anyway, I have to say I’m still getting over him, but everyday realize that I do deserve someone who loves me as much as I love them and knows what it takes to work at a relationship. Bit by bit it gets better. And when the going gets tough, blah blah blah. but what I do know is that time wounds all heels. Or so they tell me. I guess in the end I just wanted to reach out to someone that knows my pain and that I can feel for you as well. That’s my story (for now).
kristi
I don’t want to offend, and I really do empathize with you, but I’m a plain-speaker and here 'tis:
Women care too much about relationships. About finding “the one.” About “someone loving me as much and in the same exact way as I love him.”
Live the rest of your life, and love will either come to you or it won’t. Either way, you’ll have built yourself a happy, fulfilling life.
Oh, and BTW: I think it’s impossible for anyone not to change continually. As Plato recorded Socrates as saying, one never steps in the same stream twice. If it is possible, and you didn’t change…uh, maybe that’s the metaphorical equivalent of stagnation?
Jules4love obviously went through a painful breakup and some of us were comforting her with our experiences and what to do to get through it. What’s “head-scratching” about that?
If you mean that she was questioning the differences in the longevity of relationships and what she got in response was comfort for her loss instead of a discussion of relationships in general, then I guess I see where you’re coming from. But some of us read between the lines and saw that she was in pain.
