I have a question here for Dirk. Don’t you get aroused when you do that? If so, didn’t you want to do something about it at that time. Didn’t you have to restrain yourself from wanting to, uh, get your satisfaction as well in some way? You can’t tell me that when you are giving someone else so much pleasure, it does nothing to arouse you. How did you handle that (or did I just answer my own question)?
Wow, 100 posts and 3 pages so far. I didn’t really expect this to go this far, but in an odd way, I’m glad it did.
GlendaWitch,
Yes, of course I get aroused! But I also have self-control. A cold shower and a shot of rum (not necessarily in that order) and I’m just fine! Of course, the wife was returning the next morning, so I didn’t have that long to wait. 
Now if she were going to have been gone longer than that…
Dirk–
Nice post. My advice: don’t sweat whether some posters don’t believe you. You’ve provided plenty of information–they either will or they won’t. Likewise, don’t sweat whether everyone agrees with your morality or not. It’s not your responsibility to convert them, nor is it theirs to convert you (not that all of them realize that).
My ex would never have given me the green light for helping out a friend, as you did. I, on the other hand, would have JUMPED at such an opportunity (if she had given permission). Now that I’m single, I don’t have to ask permission from anyone. Ladies???
Like you, I LOVE love love to perform oral sex on a woman. I’ve only had one time when a woman I was with did not reach orgasm, and that was due to external circumstances (neighbor knocking on door interrupting us and then running out of time).
Like you, I find it hard to imagine a woman not being able to orgasm from oral sex. But I think there’s a little more to it than technique in some cases. I think some women haven’t been able to reach this ‘milestone’ (or whatever it is) because of some emotional circumstances. Perhaps their brain keeps interrupting to tell them it’s ‘unclean’, or they need to feel ‘loved’ by the person doing it, or their lives are so busy they can’t manage to relax enough to get into the proper mood. Or they haven’t been given enough time. Or they need something a little extra, like a finger inserted anally. Or something. For those emotional type issues, all the technique in the world may not be enough to get the job done.
Still, I’d love to be asked and love to have the opportunity to give it the old college try. Cunnilingous is such a beautiful, intimate, fun, erotic, exciting, arousing act and such a wonderful gift to be able to give. And I’ll add one more personal note, which will cause many posters consternation, disbelief, or even to doubt my sanity/sincerity, yet it’s true: I’d rather perform oral sex than to receive it. It’s much more fun for me.
And GlendaWitch, yes, it’s totally arousing, and I almost always am aching to immediatly put my penis where my mouth has been. Failing that, I’m sure Dirk was able to ‘handle’ the situation, as you suggest, on his own.
You last post wasn’t there on preview, Dirk!
Your friend can’t do it using both tongue and fingers!?
And we’re supposed to be impressed because you can?
I’m calling bullshit. Not that I don’t believe things like this go on a lot more then one might expect, or that there are plenty of happily-married couples who would be okay with their SO performing oral sex on someone else.
But let’s look at the facts here:
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This guy’s username is DirkGntly, which, IIRC, was the name of the porn star with the massive schlong in Boogie Nights.
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Dirk is also boasting about several extremely typical male fantasy scenarios: performing oral sex on someone else’s wife, his own wife being cool with that, causing the woman to acheive orgasm in record time, and completely showing up the other male present with his sexual prowess.
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Dirk is using the typical braggart’s ruse, boasting about his control in the situation, feigning surprise that so many people would be interested in his story, claiming indifference as to whether or not his story is believed, claiming to be “just a regular guy”, i.e., “I’m not a swinger”, and just generally enjoying all the attention and praise.
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Dirk started this thread seemingly to inform complete srangers of his amazing technique and draw attention to the fact that he has nonchalantly violated what many consider to be an important societal taboo, namely, engaging in intimate sex acts with another’s person spouse. This is the human equivalent of the alpha baboon’s characteristic show of masculine authority. Yikes.
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Dirk’s cunnilingus instructions could be easily obtained by a cursory browse of any of the following: internet sex sites, men’s magazines, adult magazines, and any number of those “How To Have Great Sex” self-help books that prove so popular in the big-chain bookstores.
Let’s do the math here, kids. 1+1+1+1+1 = bullshit.
Nice try, Sparky. :rolleyes:
I see that the children are now arriving home from the schools on the east coast…
Bup, From the descriptions I’ve been given, I think my friend’s “technique” came from the porno-flick school of cunnilingus: no facial contact and tip-of-tongue only so the camera can get a good “look-see” at the action…
ratty,
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Dirk Gently is a character from Douglas Adams’ “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency” - I’ve never even seen “Boogie Nights”
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I wasn’t trying to “show up” anyone - I was hoping he could be taught - and I certainly wasn’t going to go down on HIM to try to teach it! …sheesh… I did NOT cause this PARTICULAR woman to orgasm in record time (to my knowledge). There was ONE woman that took about 4 minutes…my wife, on the other hand, takes a little longer than that…and more time, if I am not focusing on making her orgasm, but rather to prolong the experience.
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Braggart’s ruse? Perhaps - except that it’s not fiction…as far as not being a swinger - no, I don’t consider myself to be, others would…and I may eventually become one, though that is NOT my objective.
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Yes, I’m having some fun talking about this. If it weren’t fun, I wouldn’t be talking about it. Do I have a need to show my “alpha baboon-ness?” Perhaps. I won’t deny it - it’s a rush! Is that such a bad thing? I am, after all, a “typical” male…and I make no apologies or excuses for it!
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That may perhaps be true, since:
I have read many of these articles in the past and put them into PRACTICE. I read an article, try the technique, find out what works or doesn’t work about it, then apply what I learn. Is that so hard to figure out?
Fer cryin’ out loud…
Pablito, you are wrong about the emotional issues thing!! What a typical guy statement. No guy has ever been able to give me an O. In fact I never had one until a couple of years ago when a friend got me a vibrator as a gift. I have tried for years with my boyfriends to be able to achieve the big O, to no avail. Pablito, it is NOT that easy for women to have an O! Not nearly as easy as a guy!!!
This has nothing to do with my “emotional issues!” I had the same great boyfriend for 9 years. He just didn’t know how to do it! We had plenty of time, I did not feel it was “unclean,” I was not too busy, and I felt “loved.” And we tried all sorts of “something extra,” To no avail.
I just have never been with anyone who could do it the correct way. Not that they didn’t try. And of course I never knew what the correct way was, but after reading Dirk’s description, I think that might do the trick!!
P.S. I see no reason to believe that Dirk is making this up. Geesh!
Thanks, birdgirl. Do you know how to look up e-mail address on the SDMB? Look mine up and toss me a line - I’d like to talk to you more about this offline…(no, I’m not going to cyber-sex you, hahah!)
I sure as heck am. Might get in deep trouble otherwise …
Wow … I am shocked at the number of ladies who haven’t found the right guy to do this for them! I have vibrators and they do have their place but no orgasm is as intense than the orgasm that comes from oral sex. (Again this is me only)
I will go thank my hubby now for being so wonderful. Then again we’ve had 12 years to learn what eachother really likes.
I certainly agree that the “emotional issues” argument is a silly one. Many women take a long time to orgasm - or can’t orgasm at all - for reasons that are mysterious and that probably have little to do with emotional hangups in many cases. And in some cases, the poor technique of their partners is no doubt a factor.
But, birdgirl, given that you had a “great boyfriend” for nine years and he wasn’t able to give you an orgasm orally during this time, no matter how hard he tried, i find it rather strange that you apparently seem to believe that if you could only somehow get Dirk’s face between your legs, you would end up in screaming orgasmic ecstacy.
Firstly, as ratty ponted out, Dirk’s not exactly reinventing the sexual wheel here. His Amazing Technique[sup]TM[/sup] is actually bog-standard stuff for many men who give oral sex on a regular basis, and, as Dirk himself conceded, can easily be found described in any one of a number of sex education books.
An important part of his OP, and one that you might want to pay attention to, is the following:
Well, duh! Anyone who doesn’t realize this has to be a moron. And learning exactly what techniques will work on each person is a matter of experience and practice. In my experience, for example, some women like considerable pressure on their clitoris, while others prefer only feather-light touches. One of Dirk’s techniques, mentioned in his OP, is “applying gentle pressure to the inside of the vagina, towards the clitoris/pubic bone,” but this is not a universal rule to follow; some women love it and some are indifferent. I think the most naive part of your whole attitude is your aparent assumption that there is a single “correct way” (your words, birdgirl) to do it, and that Dirk has shown you the light.
Also, while i’m sure that there are men who aren’t very good at oral sex, and that some women find it hard to reach orgasm with such men, i think that anyone who is still sexually unsatisfied at the end of a nine-year relationship must bear some of the blame for the problem. You say you didn’t know what the “correct way” was, but did you ever try to find out? Did you and/or your boyfriend ask friends, seek sexual counseling, or buy books on the subject? Because, as noted above, everything that Dirk said can be found in myriad places.
Also, the inherently subjective nature of what gives us sexual pleasure means that even the best lovers need to learn what pleases their partners. If you’re a woman receiving oral sex, let the person know, by telling him or her or by making appropriate sounds of pleasure, what feels good. And tell them what doesn’t. Point your partner in the right direction, literally, by doing some of the stimulation yourself in the early stages of a relationship. That way he or she will get to know what gets you off. People - men or women - who complain about the quality of oral sex that they receive but who do nothing to guide their partner during lovemaking have themselves to blame, at least partly, for their frustration.
All this assumes, of course, that your sexual partner is indeed doing his or her best to make the experience enjoyable for both of you. There are selfish assholes out there, who only have sex for their own gratification, and who no amount of coaxing will improve, and they need to be dumped unceremniously.
I suppose i would just conclude that, if you really feel that there is a single “correct way” to give oral sex, and that Dirk has shown you the light, then maybe you should make the trip to Texas and let him fix you up. If it worked, it would kill two birds with one stone: it would give you the oral-sex orgasm you want; and it would get Dirk between a womans thighs, which i suspect was the main purpose of his fourth-grade bragging in the first place. And, in case you want to get a look at the ears you’ll be using as handles, here’s his webpage.
Geeze guys don’t get so defensive about my little joke. I was just trying to lighten the place up a little.
Personally I don’t know how long it takes me to orgasm with oral sex, if it’s done properly, I don’t care.
I imagine there are some women who orgasm quickly. Is that some kind of threat to your manliness? I would think it would be the other way around.
That was Dirk Diggler.
I’m not sure why I’m being so personally villified here. I wanted to talk about an interesting happening in my life, and relay what I thought would be interesting and useful information. Gloating? Maybe, but I honestly thought I kept that tone out of it. Like I said previously, I suppose I should have merely related the techniques, and not the story that prompted me to even think about sharing them. I do, however, take some umbrage to being compared to a 4th-grader by mhendo. I find that rather unnecessary and uncalled for. A little over-the-top. Also, what the hell was the point of posting my page link? Do you find me visually repugnant and therefore think others will as well? Geez-Louise! Talk about 4th-grade! And as long as I’m on it, NO, my purpose was NOT to get my face between another woman’s legs by posting this! I’m not going to go down on some woman that I don’t know…I might be a little crazy, but I’m not stupid. It would be immature to assume that was my motivation.
Concerning poor birdgirl and mhendo’s attack on her, I have to say this: it would be in your best interests, mhendo, to read ALL of the posts in the thread before making such blanket statements. My friend’s wife had been unable to achieve orgasm with him orally. A few posts later, I make it clear that they have been married FOR ALMOST 18 FRICKIN’ YEARS. That by all means validates birdgirl’s assertion of not being able to for 9 years.
Now -
Can we get back on-topic?? In case anyone needs a reminder of what the topic is, it’s a POLL. I ended my OP with:
“Ladies, do you concur that this method is likely to be adequate? Have you found particular methods that work best for you?”
Do you concur or not? Is there something else that works particularly for you?
I’ve been unable to bring my girlfrind to orgasm from oral sex, in fact, neither has anyone else (in the past, I mean ;)). But I admit, I do lack any real technique. My ex-girlfriend could be counted on to have a shivering orgasm after about five minutes, so there wasn’t any real need to improve. My current girlfriend prefers other methods, so I don’t get much time to practice these days. Perhaps I’ll try some of the advice in this thread.
Needless to say, TMI, right? And I hope this is getting back on topic as well!
This sounds very familiar. My girlfriend climaxes extemely easily through normal sex, or even grinding, as she seems to be all about lots of pressure. And I mean lots of pressure on her clit, so mush so I almost feel like I’m hurting her. Needless to say I haven’t quite managed to replicate that with any oral techniques, and she doesn’t think it’s possible at all. I’m convinced (as are all guys, right?) that I will get past this and succeed, but who knows.
Any other girls out there like this that have a technique that works for them? I know the OP technique, and though she enjoys it, it hasn’t brought about a climax yet. Maybe we aren’t patient enough though, seeing as we always have other way to reach our destination!
And on a side note, to Dirk: I got similar reactions from people on another board when I mentioned I let my girlfriend hook up with another girl (one of her good friends) because she was curious about it, and thought that I would enjoy hearing about it (which I did). Things people percieve as being unfaithful, even if it relates people they don’t know, tend to push buttons, maybe? Oh well, what can ya do…
Yeah, right.
Well, i thought your post sounded like fourth-grade bragging, so i said so. It was not intended as a blanket condemnation of you as a person; i have no idea whether you’re a braggart in general or not. But i call people’s posts as i see them.
No, i don’t find you visually repugnant at all. I’m not the world’s most attractive man myself, so i don’t go throwing stones in glass houses when it comes to other people’s looks. The link was really just an attempt at humor, a way of satirizing birdgirl’s apparent hero-worship of your extraordinary cunnilingual feats.
And i’m not sure why you’re so touchy about the subject of your webpage. After all, you’re the one who provides a link to it in every post you make. And, as far as i can tell, the contents of your web page consist solely of two pictures of yourself. There is no text, no thoughts, no journal, no links, none of the usual miscellanea that people often put on personal web pages. If you don’t want people looking at it, i suggest that you remove the link or take it down. And if you want people to judge your page based on something other than your physical appearance, you might want to add some content to it.
So you say.
In your most recent post you point to your poll as the ostensible reason for this thread, but my parsing of your poll question, when taken in conjunction with your OP, goes something like this: “Hey everyone, here’s my awesome pussy-eating technique guaranteed to get women off. Aren’t i awesome? Ladies, don’t you think i’m awesome?”
A simplistic reading? Sure. But that’s what the general tone your post conveyed to me, and to more than one other person on this thread. But hey, i’ll leave you alone now so you and birdgirl can set up your little mutual admiration society.
See, now youre just being silly. I never said that birdgirl’s post was “invalid,” or that i didn’t believe her. My main points, if you’ll read my post, were:
a) if a relationship goes this long without the guy being able to get the woman off orally, maybe they should have sought help long before if it was such a big issue
b) the fact that birdgirl find’s your OP so compelling is no guarantee that you and/or your technique would work for her. As she said herself, it can be very difficult for some women to reach orgasm.
This is not a matter of apportioning blame, and the only part of my post which was intended to criticize birdgirl was when i pointed out the naivety of believing that there is a single “correct way” to do it. She’s welcome to keep believing that, but it’s not likely to bring her any satisfaction.
To tell you the truth, i’d apply the same critique to your friend and his wife as i did to birdgirl, only more so. If they waited 18 years to try to learn about different techniques of oral sex, and then turned to a friend to show them, then that just shows a startling lack of imagination or initiative for a hell of a long time. I’ll probably get flamed for this, but it seems to me that their unfortunate predicament is, to a considerable extent, the product of an early marriage and a lack of experience with multiple partners.
For the record, your tone, to me, seems pretty arrogant and that’s why I am having a hard time processing or caring about your unbelievable technique. Also, I got a smarmy vibe when you suggested Birdgirl contact you off line. Giving the explicit language and posts in this thread, I don’t understand why you can’t assist her in the forum.