:eek: I’ve been quoted by a Moderator! 
Of course, that might not be a good thing.
Well, ratty, it did seem like you were being a bit harsh and cynical, though I know where you were coming from. Glad to see you guys cleared it up a little bit…
mhendo brought up many good points. I am SO glad you addressed the fact that it’s all extremely subjective. Nothing is as simple, at least to me, as birdgirl put it.
Czarcasm and the ever-wonderful Davebear indeed said it best when they suggested that any more abuse of DirkGntly and his creditability belongs in the pit.
[sub]Of course it’s a good thing, Davebear! Be flattered![/sub]
Now that I’ve put my unasked-for $0.02 in, I’ll get back to the OP. I, for one, have rarely climaxed during oral sex. It feels great, but it’s not the best, in my book. Certainly a topic worth educating others about and discussing, however.
:eek: Holy cow! :eek: blush Thank you, SFT. I can guarantee that there are some people who don’t agree with your assessment, but it was very nice of you to say. If I had a bragging-type sig, that would go at the top. 
[sub]Are ya’ sure? 'Cause that “ALL” seemed like it might have been aimed at me. [/sub]
So, in the spirit of the OP, would you care to comment on whether Dirk’s technique sounds similar to what you’ve experienced? I recognize that women’s responses to even good oral sex vary, but there’s apparently a lot of guys out there who lack any particular knowledge. Any idea which is the cause of the rarity of orgasms in your case? (Obviously, it could be a combination of factors, too.)
Your hubby certainly sounds like a great guy - you’re very lucky (MA men are pretty cool huh? glad I nabbed me one too!)…
As to oral sex? I think a lot has to do with how you do it - I have had some good times, most less than good, one or two a waste of time. The guy didnt know what he was doing - he might as well have been poking me with a stick for gods sake :rolleyes:.
Anyways - yes some folks have a lot to learn about how to do it right, but its only a matter of practice !!!
I’m afraid I’m with Coda. It’s not the content of the OP I have a problem with, it’s the tone. The OP was pure vanity. He’s not actually asking any kind of question. I thought the whole point of SDMS was to ask questions, not expand the ego.
So, yes, it’s childish.
Aw, Davebear, you’re so cute when you blush. 
Concerning your question: I’ve had, as far as I can tell, pretty good oral sex experiences. It just seems that I need a little more interaction than strict mouth-tongue-lips contact to, erm…fully enjoy myself. (Not that I’m not having a good time as it is!)
I’d say yes, I’m familiar with ‘techniques’ similar to those described in the OP, at least to some degree. When techniques like DirkGently’s are used (such as insertion of a finger or two, etc.), it’s a more successful venture.
Oh, back to technique, eh? OK … I’ve never had a ‘general’ procedure, different women like different things. I think that as long as you have good communication and some patience, there’s not a whole lot you need to know. Maybe my technique has just been practiced to subconsciousness, though-while I’ve only had actual intercourse with three women, I’ve engaged in oral sex with … um, I dunno. Lots. I don’t remember ever having problems getting a woman to orgasm that way.
I did have some technical instruction, now that I think about it, from a book called The Sensuous Mouth. I ‘borrowed’ it from a high shelf in my parents’ bedroom when I was about fourteen. I have since spent my life assiduously refraining from thinking about what it was doing there.
Dirk, it sounds like you, and perhaps your friends, are on the path to the swinger’s lifestyle. I’d suggest you do some more research on the issues, moral, emotional, logistical(hey, you’ve got kids, keeping things like this from them isn’t going to be easy), etc. And talk frankly and deeply with your wife about this. I’ll share a bit of something personal here to get you to stop and think about it.
Years ago I made a call like the one you made to your wife. Like your wife, mine was open to the proposition and gave her approval. Later she even enjoyed hearing about the situation and became very aroused at my re-telling of the event. Years pass, we are exclusive for these years, and in some deep heart-to-heart she tells me that she DID feel betrayed all those years ago. She’s been carrying this resentment, and moreover some sense of inadequacy on her part, for years. I was at a loss. We had discussed the issue, many was the time she said she wouldn’t have a problem with it. I had given her notification when I was finally going to take her up on her offer, she even found recitation of the events arousing. I truly thought she was ok with the situation.
I was wrong. She was ok with it because she wanted me to be happy. In seeking my own desires, even after taking precautions to ensure she wasn’t hurt, I HAD damaged our relationship. The damage to the trust may or may not be reversible. If I had known then what I know now I would have never done it.
When people have conversations about these situations and how they view them(your comment about seeing oral sex as completely divorced from the emotions is a perfect example) they speak with their heads. Ultimately the piece of us that decides if an act was right or wrong is our heart. My wife’s head said yes and I wasn’t listening well enough to hear her heart say no. I won’t make that mistake again. My only advice is for you to take a step back and listen, very carefully, to both your own heart and the heart you vowed to love as your own when you married this woman. Once you’re both sure of your feelings on this issue, act in accordance and with respect for each others feelings and limits.
Good luck to you.
Enjoy,
Steven
For my most of my life (I am 27) I was unable to have an orgasm with or without a partner. Believe me, I tried to figure out for myself how to do it. For a long time, I actually DID NOT BELIEVE that female orgasms were real! I shit you not! I did not believe in them since I had never had one despite much effort.
Then one glorious day, my friend bought me a vibrator, and I was henceforth a believer! However, I can only do it with a vibrator. No amound of hand- or tongue-work has been successful. I just think I am not that sensitive down there, and that it takes the intense buzzing of the vibrator to do the trick.
Oh yeah, and here’s why I think me and my boyfriend never learned how to do it. I was 17 and he was 18 when we got together. We were young and naieve. He was a virgin before me. We spent 9 years together, so we didn’t really have much outside experience to teach us…he did try, but I just don’t think either of us knew enough…does that make sense?
What the heck, mhendo? Please try to understand my perspective. For many years I was deprived of orgasm, due to ignorance or lack of skill or whatever. It really made me feel like something was wrong with me. Image if you never had an orgasm until you were 25? Or if you could only orgasm by yourself and not during sex? So maybe you can imagine that I was very interested to read about a woman (the friend’s wife) who had the same problem after 18 years of marriage. It made me feel not-so-alone afterall. All I was doing was thanking Dirk for posting the description, which I found helpful…
Now if I could only find a new boyfriend to try it out with…
In conclusion, I don’t think men realize what it would be like to go through life not being able to orgasm despite many well-intentioned efforts. Boys reach puberty and they have orgasms in their sleep, they masturbate easily at a young age, etc. Well for people like me it was pretty hard going through my teens and 20s never experiencing the best part of sex.
Guys, can you just imagine? Think about it. How would you feel if you were 25 when you had your first orgasm?
Hey but now, life is pretty good, because with my vibrator I can go for an hour or more, having dozens of orgasms in a row…I guess that is payback for all the years I never had this pleasure!!! I think if men could have multiple (dozens) of orgasms in a row, they would never leave the house…
Great post, birdgirl Definitely the kind of information I was hoping to bring out in this thread. Absolutely informative…
Mtgman, thank you for the advice. I will be certain to try to discuss this at length with my wife, with the added perspective you have given. Maybe I can avoid the problems you encountered. I will want to be careful, however, so as not to beat the subject to death. The last thing I want her to do is say to me, “Hey, if you’re going to make such a huge deal about it, then I wish you HADN’T done it!” Hahah!
Right ho, I’m off for my clinically cold shower…
Now to more or less get back to the poster’s query for opinions on his technique minus the morality issues.
Women are built differently physically and mentally.
The same technique won’t necessarily work on all women.
And in a monogamous relationship various techniques should be experimented with to “keep it fresh” 
so to speak.
I wonder if it were less DirkGntly’s “technique” or more the thought that she was being orally pleasure by another guy while her husband watched? Mind > body when it comes to sex a lot of the time and the extreme naughtiness/kinkiness of the situation probably did the trick.
Giraffe, I can’t tell you how many times your posts have made me laugh out loud.
Wow folks! Way to take a really cool, entertaining thread and turn it into a cross between C-Span and Jerry Falwell’s latest sermon. Can’t we just have fun anymore? I realize this is a serious discussion board, but everyone needs a little fluff in there somewhere. Dirk, I apologize on behalf of the universe for everyone shitting on your (previously) cool thread.
No, the last thing you want her to do is tell you, six years after the fact, that she felt betrayed but didn’t want to seem like a selfish prude and that she wanted you to be happy so she pushed her feelings of betrayal and sadness aside for years. THAT is the last thing you want. I promise.
Enjoy,
Steven
Dirk, so can you define “marriage” in your own words, and why you even bothered trying it??? 
- Jinx
Bahaha! Oh my, that’s funny.
Since this thread seems to finally be dying (thankfully), I’ll answer a couple of questions, make a comment or two, and bow out.
Glory, you make an excellent point, and I’m not sure I had ever really considered it, even though I’m aware that the brain is truly the body’s largest sex organ…
//\etalhea|), thanks for the support, man! (And that goes for everyone else, too…Davebear, matt_mcl, etc., etc.,…)
Jinx, we made a vow to be together, “through sickness and in health, in prosperity and poverty, as long as we both shall live…”
We’ve been through hell and back in our 13 years of marriage, mostly the first 8 years, when we were stone-broke, living in an efficiency apartment with a newborn baby girl AND trying to finish college; working at a mini-mart to make ends meet and on welfare; counting on the charity of churches to have enough food for the baby; building a business from scratch (that actually wound up working out well); and now to the successful job I have today…not to mention all of the emotional roller-coasters we had during all of that time…
But we never ONCE considered divorce as an option - we still don’t. And my wife is my very best friend…I can talk to her about ANYTHING, and she can to me, too…
That sounds like a marriage to me, and I hope to some other folks, too.
Thanks, all! This thread was fun! (Most of the time, haha!)