BMalion - don’t leave us hanging, man, howsabout an update please?
You’ll have to wait until Tuesday China Guy. I say good for BMalion. I think he is approaching this correctly.
he did not make the weekend. His training was changed. He is coming over Friday night.
So, did you talk to his aunt and uncle?
Best wishes,
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Yes, at length. Their history with him is quite different. He asked them for money and they declined. I completely understand that.
So we had dinner and a couple of beers on Friday. I loaned him $100 and told him to take his time paying me back. It was good to talk to him again.
The funny thing is, when he was 13 years old and his brother was 11, he was the troublemaker and his little brother was the “nice one”. Now that he is 24 years old, he is the decent family man and his little brother is the crazy drug-dealing thief, weird.
I popped over to his place Saturday afternoon to meet his girlfriend and his 7 year old son. How amazing to see him as a dad. We talked a lot. He told me about how his mom doesn’t help him at all and how much he hates her. I just listened. When he said his mom gave him much grief I did say “Well, we have that in common.”
It came to me that if I had had a kid when I was younger, that child would be about the same age.
It was fun and heart-warming. I’ll see him again.
Great to hear that you two spent such a good time connecting. Hopefully your son can get out from his financial problems soon.
Excellent. Life is long and at every turn there is a chance some good can happen.
I know so very little about you and your situation, you are just somebody typing some words on a computer somewhere. My imagination colors in between the few lines I read and I hope the picture I see is something like reality.
I hope that a young man, who has a long history with his family and an interrupted one with you, can find from this that not all things are cast in stone, not all judgements are permanent and irrevocable, and that the past does not automatically determine the future.
I know it was $100, a few beers and some time spent. I hope it’s a point of possibility for your stepson.
Please keep us informed of the future interactions. I would like to think that my envisioned success might bear fruit. It would be comforting to know.
It’s good to hear that it worked out well!
In a nutshell, from Ohio, but I had been living in California for over 20 years, I visited Ohio for my 10 year high school reunion. I met a classmate that I always liked but never knew. She was now a widow with 2 sons, I was smitten. I moved back to Ohio and we were married. Things did not work out well and we divorced 4 years later. I stayed in Ohio, bought a house and am making a go of it.
Well, that sounds really nice. Good for you for re-connecting with him. 
Great.
I tend to believe that people can change if they are given a chance. It is nice to see that he managed to change and is settled down.
Enjoy keeping in touch with him.
Good to hear BMalion. We all need help at times, sometimes the help we need is financial, sometimes it is just a little support and an ear for our troubles. You set a good example.
It’s the least i can do, when I was young and stupid I was helped out several times financially. I think of this as “paying it forward.”
Very cool. I’m glad it was a nice visit.
I don’t know your history, but this is a sad view of humankind. You know almost nothing about this situation, but are 99% sure the son is on drugs? I want to be angry about your presumption, but all I can feel is sadness. Anyway, looks like BMalion had a great visit and appearances indicate there is no drugs involved. I applaud his generosity and hope the relationship can blossom. Especially as there’s a (step?) grandkid involved.
You can be as dismissive of that scenario as you want, but a lot of the time someone you have relatively little contact with approaches you out of the blue for cash drugs is exactly what it’s all about.
How’s that attitude working out for you?
It’s not “attitude”, it’s reality.
Like I said upthread, I don’t care if he spends it on hookers and blow, he is an adult. If I give him money it’s his to do with what he wants.
I just talked to him about an hour ago, as it happens, he seems to be paying rent with the funds. Good.