So sad. Such a waste of a young life.
May everyone touched by her life Be Well, and Find Peace.
(((((nani)))))
It hurts, and it’s so inexplicable. My cousin, who seemed to have the world wrapped around his finger, hanged himself when he was 21. He called his parents in seemingly good spirits and wished them an enjoyable vacation right before he did it. A HS classmate, at his wake, said “I’m so pissed at J***, I wanted to have his children.” He, too, was an overachiever, track star, quarterback, academic, and popular.
Your post was, as said above, very eloquent and touching. My thoughts are with you and her family.
I’m so VERY sorry, honey. I wish I could come up with some words of comfort, but I can’t. You have lost your friend in a way that will always haunt you, and it doesn’t matter how much anyone says, you are never going to understand.
The best you can do is to try to understand that you are not in ANY way to blame. You DIDN’T KNOW! You may not have been able to do anything ANYWAY, but in any case…you weren’t given the opportunity to help.
Please PLEASE don’t blame yourself.
Suicide is a place a person can only really understand when that person is in the place they are in that makes them choose that path. No one is ever going to be able to understand that place until they are IN that place. And I hope and pray that you NEVER understand that place.
You loved your friend. It wasn’t enough for her. I am sure that there are other people in her life who loved her. Where she was, it didn’t matter to her. There is nothing you could have done to change that.
I am SO VERY SORRY. You and her family are in my prayers.
Much Love,
Cheri
This thread has haunted me all day.
While none of us can make what happened “better”, I so hope that you realise you have heaps of friends here you can talk to either publicly in threads like this or privately via email. The fact that people haven’t explicitly stated you can email them doesn’t mean you can’t - I can think of quite a few people in this thread apart from myself who’d be more than willing to be there for you if you need someone to “talk” to.
I got a call from my daughter’s school a couple of hours ago. It’s exam week and between school and work she’s just so exhausted it isn’t funny. She broke up with her boyfriend today at school - the teachers found her curled up on the ground in the foetal position and a near catatonic state. Right now, my priority is loving her back to health.
I really hope that in spite of this tragedy you can find something to appreciate about Thanksgiving. It’s already been said in this thread, but I’d like to second it. If loving, caring people like yourself represent the future, then the future is - indeed - in good hands.
I’m not hugely impressed with the poster who let you know via a messageboard that your friend left a note - that was incredibly inappropriate.
Please take care of yourself, and please know that whatever hour of the day or night there’s always someone around here if you need an ear.
Thaks for your support…
She left a note? what? We were told repeatedly there was no note… I…
By the way, um, Im a guy
In case you guys did not know. Did I say I was a girl?
Sorry, nani. Many of us presumed your gender based on the eloquence and sensitivity of your post. It’s a potent reminder to all of us not to PRESUME.
hajario posted earlier in the thread that a note was left but the newspaper did not disclose the contents. I’m not sure how hajario is privy to this information, but I thought that this thread was a totally inappropriate place to disclose that information. I kind of hope that it’s true. As a parent myself, I’d much rather know “why” than always wonder.
More important than any of the disputes about who has posted what here in relation to your thread, how are you doing? Have you had a chance today to talk with your other friends about how you all feel? Are you with people you feel safe talking to this about, are you trying to put on a brave face for Thanksgiving?
I really hope that you’re close enough to your own family to share with them the whole range of emotions you’re going to feel in the next few days. And I hope that you know that if there’s anything you feel you can’t share with your own family, there will always be someone here to listen.
:
:
ñañi
I hope this will be comforting, but if not, please ignore.
Some have spoken of the permanence of death, but what I would like to tell you is that there is no life in flesh. Life is in the Spirit, and the spirit of your friend lives on.
We all will die sooner or later, in terms of our cellular structure breaking down. But fleeting things are not real. What is real is what is eternal.
Your friend is alive. She is not depressed, but joyful. She is in the arms of the Love Everlasting.
Your own moral journey — your life here on earth — must go on. And while you are here, you are among friends. Find comfort in knowing that we love you, and that our love is but a pale reflection of the love that your friend now enjoys.
The fact that a note was left was in the newspaper article in the local free weekly. It’s not a secret. I don’t understand why that is inappropriate to say but I sincerely apologize if it is.
reprise, you indicated yourself that the fact that a note was left was comforting.
Haj
I should add that my step-brother killed himself six years ago. He didn’t leave a note and that fact was extra tortuous to everyone who knew him.
Haj
I wasn’t disputing that. What I was saying is you (generic) can’t simply classify depression as a “temporary problem”. I’ve been clinically depressed for over six years now. I’ve been to counselling, I’ve taken medication, I’ve been in hospitals. I’ve done all that, and I still have episodes of severe depression. It is not temporary. My dad still has depressive episodes caused by PTSS over things that happened to him, and the things that he saw, in Vietnam. Vietnam. That is definitely not temporary.
Yes, death can be permanent, depending on one’s faith. But the problems, feelings, and steps taken that lead to suicide are so incredibly overwhelming that, even if it is possible, the victim truly believes that there is no hope, that there is no one to help them and no way they will ever get better.
Something was horribly wrong with that girl, and all the victims of suicide. To me, suicide, death… it’s not even the worst part. It’s knowing that a person could be so sad for so long that death is a welcome alternative.
ñañi, I have such deep sorrow I can’t even describe it. Your friend was a victim of her own depression, but now you have to live with the pain. It’s really not fair. Find comfort in the people you have in your life and know that you’re not alone.
I’m very sorry you lost your friend. Having lost a close relative to suicide, and having once been suicidal myself, I feel for both of you. I hope both of you find peace.
{{nani}}