Ok, some of you may remember my previous thread on the subject of my engaged-to-each-other roommates. (Let’s call them Robert and Lynn, names obviously changed to protect the dipshits). Well, since that time, there have been a few more developments, not exactly for the better. In other words, they broke up last Monday; Valentine’s Day for those of you keeping score at home.
So the last week has been about what you’d expect… fighting when they’re in the house at the same time, although they’ve seemingly gone out of the way to not be in the house together at the same time. I did, of course, perform the time-honored ritual of my-buddy’s-broken-up-with-his-girl activity… I took Robert out and got him wasted. On three separate evenings last week. Although it seems that he’s doing quite well in the drunkenness department without my help anymore.
Anyway, on Thursday, Robert informs me that he thinks that Lynn should move out, and of course, now I’ll have to start paying 1/2 of the rent and utilities to help make up for her share. Not three hours later, Lynn informs me quite adamantly that she’s not moving out thank you very much. What the fuck ever, I told you two before we got this place that I would not be financially impacted by anything that may happen between the two of you.
Then come the arguments about who gets to keep the two dogs, of course both of them want both dogs, and they’re unwilling to split them up. What the fuck ever, leave me out of it… but of course they don’t.
Then Saturday night I go out with Lynn and some other mutual friends to help celebrate Lynn’s birthday. (I went out with Robert on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights, so fuck him for getting pissed off at me for spending time with her, she’s still my friend you know). Well, anyway, long story short, she ends up leaving the party with some new guy ‘friend’ of hers that I’ve seen maybe three times in my life; on of which was when I came downstairs one random tuesday morning to find three random people (including Lynn) passed out in my living room. I want to get pissed off about this, but I can’t cause I really don’t give a shit.
Oh, did I mention that, just in case there wasn’t enough awkwardness going on around the house last weekend, that Lynn’s mom and younger brother (age 11), decided to pick that weekend for a visit? Fucking seriously here, I like your family and all, but can they maybe show up some other time when the tension level in the house isn’t quite at DEFCON 1?
I guess in my logically-oriented mind, I had considered this scenario as a possibility when I agreed so share a residence with them. But Og damn it, is it too much to ask for to maybe just not talk to each other while I’m around, since your ‘conversations’ inevitably lead to a shouting match?
Oh well, at least I get to have some fun with it. I’ve got the MP3s going on my computer right now at a very high volume. For tonight’s playlist I’ve selected a mixture of “You used to love me, now we hate each other, love sucks, fuck off and die” music. Fuck 'em.
Only 4 more months and I’ll be back out on my own. I can’t fucking wait.
